Tag: abuse
Women in survival mode
Narcissist counter parent
Alienators will strip you of all you love / Charlie Mc Cready
Pets hold a unique place in our hearts; they offer unconditional love, companionship, and a sense of solace. I found out recently that my beloved dog in the picture here, Ziggy Stardust, died back in 2016. I knew he must have died. I also know he had a happy life, but he was pretty much lost to me as a consequence of divorce. I’m not ashamed to say I wept in memory and in love for him. I had literally buried those feelings of grief (in particular about Ziggy) for a while, the awful moments of saying goodbye to him back in 2009 and then never seeing him again. Ironically, I’ve just written a post about ‘men cry too’. Well, I am not ashamed to say, I had one of those moments. I LOVED that dog. Look how beautiful he was! And he loved me too.
We focus, of course, on the children robbed from our lives through parental alienation, but remembering Ziggy, and finding out that he had (naturally) died, made me reflect on the greater losses, such as our pets, that we lose as a result of this terrible experience. We lose a whole lifestyle, a whole way of life. I often hear how pets are never seen again. One man talked of how he was never allowed to see his dog after separation/divorce/parental alienation but just got sent the vet bills, including the one which was the termination of his dog’s life and cremation. These people will use any means possible, including our pets, to hurt us and to systematically remove every source of love and companionship from us. It is insidious, malicious, and abusive. The level of cruelty highlights the lack of empathy and the depths a psychologically abusive person, such as an alienating parent, will go to inflict pain on others. Please share your experience if this resonates with you.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#overcomingadversity
#grief
#healing
How Narcissist Develop
Broken Homes
Many people preach the nuclear family staying together because they say it’s in the child’s best interest—no matter what.
They say divorce ruins kids.
They say single-parent homes are broken.
They speak with the eyes of judgment and the mouth of tradition—
as if staying together at all costs is the only version of love worth respecting.
But that mindset is dangerous.
Because it doesn’t consider the full picture.
It values structure over safety.
It protects the idea of family—
not the people inside it.
They’ll say:
“Two parents are better than one.”
“Kids need their mom and dad under the same roof.”
“You should’ve tried harder. Gotten counseling. Stayed together for the kids.”
And if you tell them, “My parents divorced and it was the best thing for me”—
they’ll say, “That’s not what you needed.”
As if they know more about your lived experience than you do.
As if your peace is irrelevant if it doesn’t fit their narrative.
But here’s what they don’t want to acknowledge:
Sometimes the family structure you’re trying so hard to preserve… is the very thing doing the damage.
A broken home isn’t defined by how many parents are in it.
It’s defined by what’s happening inside.
A broken home is constant tension, silent treatments, emotional manipulation, slamming doors, and withheld affection.
It’s walking on eggshells.
It’s a child becoming the emotional referee—or worse, the emotional sponge.
It’s two people who clearly should’ve separated but stayed out of guilt, fear, or pressure.
And from the outside?
Everything might look picture-perfect.
There are smiles in public.
Matching holiday outfits.
Social media posts that say “blessed.”
But inside, it’s performative.
Everyone plays a role.
Because if one person drops the act, someone pays for it.
That’s not a home.
That’s a stage.
And the performance is built on fear and image management.
Sometimes the pain isn’t just emotional.
Kids may not witness the violence directly—but they see the bruises.
They see the tears.
They feel the tension.
And sometimes, they do see it.
Sometimes, they even become the targets themselves.
And in the worst-case scenarios, it becomes fatal—not just for children, but for everyone involved.
But people will still say,
“At least the parents stayed together.”
As if proximity is more important than protection.
As if the illusion of unity matters more than the safety of everyone inside that home.
They say things like:
“That’s just what relationships are.”
“Marriage means working through hard seasons.”
“You don’t just leave because it gets tough.”
They call it loyalty.
They call it commitment.
But what they’re really asking is that you sacrifice your peace, your safety, and your sanity—just to protect an illusion.
Let’s be clear:
There’s a difference between working through a rough patch and living in a war zone.
If there’s something worth saving—go to therapy.
Fight for it.
Let your kids see what healing looks like.
But if it stays toxic?
Let them see what self-respect looks like too.
Because staying in something that causes constant pain isn’t love.
It’s slow self-destruction.
Some people think divorce is a failure.
But what they never talk about is what happens when you stay and it slowly breaks everyone inside.
Choosing to let go isn’t giving up.
It’s deciding to stop dragging your kids—and yourself—through pain that never ends.
Yes, there are times when letting go is the right call.
But only if you’re doing it for peace, not punishment.
Only if you’re ending the pain, not repackaging it.
Only if your kids remain the focus—not your anger, not your bitterness, and not your pride.
Because when divorce is handled with maturity and mutual respect,
it’s not a failure.
It’s growth.
It’s the moment two people realize the healthiest thing they can do
is stop hurting each other—
and start healing separately,
so their children don’t grow up thinking love looks like pain.
Sometimes, two people weren’t meant to spend a lifetime together.
Sometimes, the only purpose they served in each other’s lives was to bring a child into the world.
But when they choose peace over chaos,
when they co-parent with respect—
that’s not failure.
That’s strength.
That child gets to have both parents in their life—without absorbing the tension that used to live between them.
They get to see that love doesn’t always mean staying.
And endings don’t always mean absence.
In the best cases, they even gain a bonus parent—because mom or dad finds someone new
who brings more love, not more stress.
And even when distance exists, technology closes the gap.
Being a good parent isn’t about living in the same house.
It’s about showing up, being consistent, and being present in the moments that matter.
Children don’t need their parents to be romantically connected.
They need support.
They need stability.
They need to know they are safe, understood, and loved—by both.
And let’s not forget the single parents—
the ones who never planned to do it alone…
but do it anyway.
Some are single because the other person didn’t want to be a parent.
Some walked away from abuse, addiction, or emotional chaos.
And some didn’t walk away at all—
life made the decision for them
when the other parent passed away.
No matter how it happened,
they didn’t choose to carry the load alone—
but they carry it anyway.
They work long hours,
juggle multiple jobs,
miss sleep,
and skip meals—
just to hold their household together.
They’re the ride to school,
the homework help,
the late-night caregiver,
and the emotional anchor.
They absorb the tantrums, the guilt, the pressure, the fear.
They break down in private so their kids don’t have to.
They show up sick, overwhelmed, overworked—
and still manage to love out loud.
And still, they’re the ones judged the most.
People say:
“You should’ve picked better.”
“No wonder your kid struggles.”
“That child is missing something.”
But here’s the truth:
These homes aren’t broken.
They’re built on the back of one person
who had no backup,
no break,
and no other option—
just the guts
to do it anyway.
If you truly have the child’s best interest at heart…
then you should care about more than just keeping a family together for appearance’s sake.
You should care whether that child feels safe in their own home.
You should care whether they’re being emotionally supported,
whether they’re surrounded by love,
not silence, tension, fear, or resentment.
You should care about what they see,
what they absorb,
and what kind of “normal” they’re being taught to accept.
You should care about whether that child is being raised in peace—
not just raised in a house with two adults who can’t stand each other but refuse to separate.
You should care about whether they feel heard, protected, and emotionally stable—
not just whether both parents are still under the same roof.
Because “same roof” doesn’t always mean stability.
Sometimes, it means stress.
Sometimes, it means silence.
Sometimes, it means watching love rot in real time.
And sometimes, it means abuse.
And if you truly care about what’s best for the child,
then that should matter more than the image.
More than the structure.
More than what people will say.
Because here’s the truth:
Some people care about the child—
until it challenges what they believe.
They care,
until the solution doesn’t look like what they were raised to accept.
They care,
until it makes them uncomfortable.
Until it forces them to confront that a peaceful home with one parent
is better than a hostile home with two.
That’s when the caring stops.
So ask yourself this, honestly:
Do you care about what’s truly best for the child—
or just what looks better,
because it makes you feel better?
Because confronting reality makes you uncomfortable?
Because if emotional peace, protection, and healing
don’t matter more than tradition, guilt, and image control—
then stop saying it’s about the child.
It’s not.
It’s about you.
Semantic Abuse
Mother fights for daughter
18 Year-Old Returns to Mom after Nearly 12 Years!
Villain Judge Enabled Father to Keep Her Away
[You may also read this article here: https://womenscoalition.substack.com/p/18-year-old-returns-to-mom-after
Literally, the minute Macey turned 18, she came back to her mother!
On the eve of her 18th birthday, Macey was in Laney’s arms!
Macey was taken from Laney when she was 7 years-old, her father having been empowered to do so by a St. Landry Parish, Louisiana Family Court judge. In March, it would be 12 years that Laney and Macey have been deprived of each other.
Despite the father keeping Macey away and attempting to turn her against Laney, he was never able to truly alienate her from Laney. Macey kept her love for her mother and always longed to be back with her.
“Macey never forgot about the special bond we always had together…no matter what that monster would tell her. She knew better & waited for the day she could finally break free from him.”
LANEY’S STORY
Shortly after Laney became pregnant with Macey, her husband became violent and seriously emotionally abusive.
“He would go into rages, lasting for hours and hours of verbal and physical abuse. His eyes would scare me to my core, they were empty and full of hate.”
Laney’s ex was so violent, and apparently had drug issues, that he was sentenced to a lock-down drug and anger rehabilitation program for two and a half years. This was part of a plea deal for the criminal charges filed against him: three counts of aggravated assault and battery with the intent to use a deadly weapon, also threats to kill Laney’s family.
“By the time deputies arrived, family members had wrestled a loaded shot gun out of [the father’s] hands and had him pinned to the ground in self-defense.”
Laney filed for divorce while her husband was in the program. He continued to emotionally abuse and threaten her while in the program.
“You’re going to pay—I will make sure of it!”
The father was, not surprisingly, released early. Laney insisted that his visits with Macey be supervised, which made him angry, so he filed a motion for custody.
FAMILY COURT VILLAIN
St. Landry Parish, Louisiana Family Court Judge James P. Doherty, Jr. had been assigned to the divorce/custody case. Laney initially got sole custody because the father was literally locked up for years due to his violent behavior.
Judge Doherty ordered both parents to take drug tests. Laney passed; the father did not comply with his order. Doherty let that slide. He ordered only Laney to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, not the criminally-charged father. Laney passed the assessment with flying colors, but already the gender bias was clear.
Little Macey had some serious, life-threatening medical issues that needed constant vigilance, so the father was ordered to meet with doctors and take classes so he could properly care for her. He did not comply, and again Judge Doherty let him slide, putting Macey at great risk.
SUPERVISED; THEN NOT
A common ruse in Family Court is for judges to make like they are concerned about children’s safety by initially ordering supervised visits with the abusive father. Then, not long afterwards, transition to unsupervised visits—because the abuse is “in the past”. [Of course it is in the past—he’s been supervised since the last assault.]
That’s what happened with Macey. At first visits were supervised by Laney’s family, then by the father’s mother, then vacated altogether. After returning from only the second unsupervised visit with the father, Macey was in distress, saying her bottom hurt really bad.
Laney took Macey to the ER and a forensic evaluation was conducted. This included a medical exam where photographs were taken of the injuries Macey had sustained. A rape kit was not done, supposedly to spare her “trauma”, but the medical exam found clear evidence Macey had been sexually assaulted, as well as her pediatrician.
Macey was 4 years-old. Laney was in shock.
“When they told me all of this, I went nuts. I couldn’t believe it.”
Laney was granted a Restraining Order [RO] from a different judge which stopped unsupervised visitation, the first of many. The Sheriff did not refer the case to the D.A., claiming there was “insufficient evidence” [read: male entitlement].
Less than a year later, Judge Doherty dismissed the RO and reinstated unsupervised visits. Thereupon, Macey told a nurse and her pediatrician he was still sexually abusing her. Her pediatrician wrote to the court,“I have a strong suspicion that some form of sexual abuse is occurring based on the history that has been given to me and my exam…”
At some point, CPS founded the sexual abuse as well. Another RO by another judge was put in place.
Judge Doherty then brought out the big guns to aid in his cover up. He appointed a custody evaluator who acknowledged there was substantial evidence of abuse. But he knew why Judge Doherty had hired him, so he added, “Macey is likely to have been either consciously or subconsciously influenced to levy sexual allegations against Mr. Smith.” Sound familiar?
Then the inevitable, insider “reunification therapist” was appointed who accused Laney of alienation and recommended unsupervised visits with the father resume. So Judge Doherty, armed with these fabrications that he himself had dispatched, resumed unsupervised visitation between Macey and her bravely named abuser.
ONE LAST TRY
Laney hoped the abuse would stop after all the problems it had caused. But that was not to be. When Macey was 7 years-old, she came home in great pain and admitted to Laney the abuse was still happening.
Convinced the abuse would continue to be covered up in St. Landry Parish by family court, the D.A., law enforcement, and CPS, Laney took Macey to a hospital in an adjacent parish. There Macey was given meds for pain and a forensic exam was done.
The forensic [SANE] exam found many signs of forced sexual assault: penetration, tearing, hematomas, and bruising all around the area. Law enforcement wanted to prosecute, but the crime had been committed outside their jurisdiction. So they sent the rape kit to St. Landry, where it is unclear whether it was ever tested for sperm or DNA, likely not.
Judge Doherty completely dismissed this compelling new evidence that Macey was being serially sexually assaulted by her father. He would not allow any testimony on the record that supported she was being abused.
“Judge Doherty wouldn’t let any of our witnesses to testify on the stand on Macey’s behalf. He refused to admit any of the evidence of abuse.”
Laney had fought as hard as she could legally for Macey’s safety. Her attorneys were useless, a waste of money. Nothing had worked and she was out of options.
ATTEMPTED ESCAPE
Laney gave up trying to protect Macey in Family Court and fled into hiding. But she did not get far.
Laney was caught at the Canadian border and arrested.
The D.A. colluded with Doherty’s cover up by filing “abduction” charges against Laney, this despite the abundant evidence confirming she was fleeing to protect her child. Judge Doherty then used this criminal indictment to terminate Laney’s parental rights. This is a common, collusive tactic used to silence women and children who report paternal abuse.
The order terminating her parental rights gave the father license to disappear with her and not have to let Laney know where she was or even if she was alive.
Villain Doherty took a medically-fragile 7 year-old away from her loving, primarily bonded mother and gave her to a substantiated child rapist.
That was the last time Laney saw Macey for a very long time.
The father moved out of St. Landry Parish with Macey. Desperate, Laney hired a P.I. to find her. Laney persisted filing documents trying to at least be able to know where she was, but Judge Doherty would remove them all from the court record.
Laney spent every dollar she had trying to find her. No luck.
GOING PUBLIC
With nothing left to lose, and hoping community support would help, Laney went public. Very public. And the community got on board with her.
Laney organized protests in front of Family Court. A local reporter covered the protests and wrote an excellent, in-depth article about the injustice inflicted upon Laney and Macey: The Parent Trap: https://theind.com/articles/10857/?fbclid=IwAR0yatqyYQ94E57wYF4Pb09BuadIWLMztcsLjQ3IXjBUhsUK4oWQLCwI6hY
All the publicity did not cause Judge Doherty to do the right thing. He did not budge. Nor did the D.A. budge on dismissing the unfair kidnapping charges against Laney. These charges, which carried a lengthy prison term, were held over her head for five whole years.
Laney also took part in a Coalition Campaign by making a 2 minute video attesting to what she had endured: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rugMHpa4Ko0
A VIRTUAL PRISONER
About two and a half years ago, a Texas nurse contacted Laney and told her Macey was living at a hospital-connected children’s home. Soon the truth would unravel about what had happened to Macey since Judge Doherty bequeathed upon the father the power to disappear with her.
The father had moved with her to Texas with a stepmother and stepsiblings, and he continued to abuse her. When she was 9, she bravely told a school nurse, a mandated reporter, that her father was abusing both her stepbrother and her. CPS ordered her to be out of his home, so the father put her in an inpatient hospital facility for children with medical needs.
Apparently, CPS could not legally contact Laney, as her parental rights had been terminated by Villain Doherty. It is not known whether CPS also removed Macey’s step-siblings or just her.
The father chose to put Macey into a children’s home rather than allow her to go back to her mother where she desperately wanted to be. Laney had no idea where they were or if she was even still alive. That is the kind of father judges are vesting with power over innocent, vulnerable children.
The father continued to control every aspect of Macey’s existence in the children’s home. She lived in a small room with a TV. She was not allowed to leave the facility and rarely allowed to go outside for sun or fresh air; she was not allowed to go to school; she was not allowed to have friends or a social life.
Macey was kept a virtual prisoner.
The father instructed the hospital to give Macey birth control pills and puberty blockers, despite the fact it was a female only facility and she was not allowed out. Why would she need birth control pills? Or puberty blockers? And why would a hospital agree to that?
MACEY’S ANGELS
These were the horrible living conditions Macey endured from age 9 to o18. But when she was 15 and a half, Nurse Helena believed her, and risked her job to enable secret contact with Laney. Ms. Helena was caught and fired, but two other nurses kept the contact going until Macey turned 18. These three angels made her life bearable in those last couple years and gave Laney solace her daughter was alive and she could talk to her and tell her how much she loved her.
Laney jumped through many hoops in Texas trying to get Macey legally returned to her, but was never able to even get visitation. The father was allowed to keep full control over her until she was 18.
That is Laney’s and Macey’s incredible story.
Laney survived the unimaginable: complete loss and disappearance of her precious daughter. She is thrilled to have her back after all these years.
And Macey also survived the unimaginable: loss of her mother, her primary bond, and forced to life under the control of an abuser. She has to catch up on education, do some trauma recovery, and deal with some medical issues caused while in the children’s home, but she is happy to finally, after 12 long years, be back home with Mom.
Congrats to Laney & Macey!
Like, comment and share this article in support of Laney and Macey!
And join Women’s Coalition International where we are uniting to fight the systemic sexism that caused Laney and so many other mothers to lose custody and be unable to protect their children. https://www.womenscoalitioninternational.org/
If you appreciate the work of The Women’s Coalition, please consider contributing:
Paypal: https://bit.ly/paypalwomenscoalition
Snail Mail: PO Box 501956, San Diego, CA 92150
You can also subscribe to our Substack publication for $5/mo or $50/yr or $200 founding member and columns will go straight to your inbox: https://womenscoalition.substack.com
Semantic Abuse
Semantic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that happens when one partner is consistently manipulating language to control, confuse, or dominate the other—without necessarily raising their voice or being overtly aggressive.
How semantic abuse works in a romantic relationship:
- Twisting the Meaning of Promises or Vows
- Reframing Manipulation as Love
- Redefining Abuse
- Changing Definitions Mid-Conflict
- Weaponizing Words Like “Love,” “Respect,” or “Obligation”
Why it matters: Semantic abuse erodes trust, distorts communication, and gradually invalidates a partner’s reality. Over time, it can damage self-esteem, decision-making confidence, and the emotional safety of the relationship—even in the absence of physical aggression
——Semantic Abuse Checklist——
Do I find my partner:
- Twisting Definitions?
• Your partner regularly redefines words mid-conversation to justify their actions.
• You often hear things like “That’s not what I meant” after you’ve reacted to something hurtful.
• They shift the meaning of emotional terms (e.g., “support,” “loyalty,” “love”) when convenient. - Dismissing or Minimizing?
• Your feelings are often labeled as “overreacting,” “crazy,” or “too emotional.”
• Arguments are reframed as misunderstandings, even when behavior was clearly hurtful.
• Your memories of events are often questioned or reworded to make you seem irrational. - Using Emotional Manipulation via Language?
• “If you loved me, you would…” is used to pressure you into decisions.
• Criticism or control is framed as “just being honest” or “caring too much.”
• They insist they are “just being logical” while labeling you as emotional or irrational. - Are There Gaslighting Indicators?
• You frequently doubt your memory or understanding of past conversations.
• You feel confused after arguments—even when you felt sure you were right at first.
• You hear things like, “That’s not what happened,” even when you clearly recall it. - Are They Controlling Through Language?
• Your boundaries or definitions of respect are dismissed as unreasonable.
• They dominate conversations and insist their meaning of things is the “correct” one.
• You’re afraid to bring things up because your words are always twisted against you.
———————————
What to Do If This Resonates:
• Document interactions: Journaling or writing down what’s said can help you see patterns.
• Seek support: Trusted friends, a therapist, or a counselor can help you process what’s happening.
• Educate yourself: Reading about emotional abuse and communication dynamics can clarify what’s healthy vs. manipulative.
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 