Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse

She has two faces.
One face that she shows the world, loved ones, and in public.
The smiling one.
The happy, friendly, and talkative one.
The confident one full of laughter and positivity.
The face that everyone is used to.

The second face is the real face.
The one she tries not to show anyone.
The face behind closed doors, when she’s alone away from the world, in the security of her own emotions that she doesn’t want to show anyone else or have to explain them.
It’s exhausting trying to look happy and like nothing is bothering you.
The face that stares off at nothing or patterns on the floor or drapes.
The face that cries in the shower, in bed, car rides alone, cries sitting on the couch, or doing things around for house.
The sad face that stares back at her in the mirror and looks nothing like she used to be.
Well to her anyway. Others say she looks the same. The face that looks strong to the people she knows, but is really just shards of broken glass inside.
Yes, the girl that was there for everyone, and strong for others…is now split into two.
Two faces, one broken spirit.
She can’t bear the losses.
It feels like a chapter of a wonderful book closed never to be open again.
All she has are memories and visions in her head that she plays over and over.
Nothing is the same to her.
Everything is different. She can’t cope with daily life, her Doctor said. So she writes to help herself, and she has her two faces.
What’s funny is, the sad face is the face worth a thousand words underneath in the depths of complexity.
While the happy face full of laughter, love, positiveness, and fun…is a straight shooter.”

-️ Michele McKenna
Artwork : unknown

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I have been going to court for the past 2 years over the custody of my son. My son lives with me and has standard visitation with his dad. it started out as a change to visitation when his dad moved out of state. He then decided he wanted primary custody in January of this year.

In Texas, the child is able to be heard by the judge at 12 years old. My son has been coached and talked to about me badly. He sees his dad as someone he needs to save. He tells me that no one likes his dad or his beliefs. His wife’s family thinks she has been brainwashed and doesn’t like him. My son is the child, but wants to take care of his dad.

At our hearing, I presented all the reasons My son should stay with me, etc. I even had copies of emails that My son’s dad had ranted and threatened me, my husband, and the school.

The only thing his dad testified to was all an attack on me. He never said why it would be better for My son to live with him or never said I was a bad mother.

The judge spoke to My son in chambers, and without telling me, I knew what he told him.

The thing is, the judge uses the child’s testimony as evidence, not the only evidence.

Last week, I got a ruling on our hearing. The judge has awarded my son’s dad custody with me getting standard visitation. I believe he didn’t even look at all the evidence and just based his decision on My son’s testimony.

I am beyond heartbroken. This is the beginning of my son being indoctrinated into the hateful racist that his dad is. He has already tried to poison him against me, I’m sure it will just get worse.

I have cried more tears in this last week than I have in my whole life. ❤️‍🩹

So many people get judged when they refuse to put their pain away. They get judged for showing it, for speaking it, for insisting on sharing their memories of abuse with those they know. I am not talking about those who overwhelm strangers with their stuff- I am talking about legitimate sharings with those they are connected with in daily life, including those who abused them. All too often, they are fed one repressive message or another: “Don’t look back,” “What’s done is done,” “Don’t be a victim,” “Your feelings are an illusion,” “Be strong.” What is ironic about this is that those who insist on embodying and expressing their feelings are actually the brave ones- unwilling and unable to live a false life. Their stuff is breaking through their defenses because they are tired of carrying the weight of buried truths. They want a healthier and more authentic life. Those who seek to shame their revealing are actually less courageous- turning to repressive mantras in an effort to bypass their own unresolved feelings and memories. If they can shut others down, they can remain shut down themselves. But shut down doesn’t take us anywhere good. If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us.