Tag: wisdoms

Joni Mitchell – Monogamy

wise words.

“I don’t know if I’ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that regard because I could’ve rolled right by it. Everybody has a superficial side and a deep side, but this culture doesn’t place much value on depth — we don’t have shamans or soothsayers, and depth isn’t encouraged or understood. Surrounded by this shallow, glossy society we develop a shallow side, too, and we become attracted to fluff. That’s reflected in the fact that this culture sets up an addiction to romance based on insecurity — the uncertainty of whether or not you’re truly united with the object of your obsession is the rush people get hooked on. I’ve seen this pattern so much in myself and my friends and some people never get off that line.

“But along with developing my superficial side, I always nurtured a deeper longing, so even when I was falling into the trap of that other kind of love, I was hip to what I was doing. I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called ‘The End of Sex,’ that said something that struck me as very true. It said: “If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.” What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories — and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over.

“You can’t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It’s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You’re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you — it’s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that’s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It’s warmer and has more padding to it.”

~ Joni Mitchell.

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photo by Annie Leibovitz

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#midwivesofthesoul #jonimitchell #annieleibovitz #relationship #love

Seeing the Sun again

It was a rebirth , for me there was so much fear and being on my own in the real world … surely an end times . 2003 began the ongoing journey, and I’m very grateful to have had on my own time , because no one else was available. I had many angels show up but no one to hold me, hug me etc . Except for our children , a younger sibling there was very little displays of affection . I too lost my colors and they’ve returned ; I am deserving and thankful 🙏

I can still remember the time when I begged for love. I lost my colors. I settled for the “maybe”, the “I’ll see if I can” and the “I’m tired”. I endured the pain of every no, and over time I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, that’s what I deserve. That I should just be grateful for the rare “yes” and just sit in the corner waiting.

It took some time, but when I finally realized that I’m slowly turning into this broken soul I always feared to be, I tried my best to get up and walk away. Step by step, I dragged my feet, and that’s when I learned that one of the most difficult things to do in life is to walk away from things that you’ve always wanted. But I did it.

I did it because every day seemed like it’s raining and I wanted to see the sun again. I did it for the days when I would laugh so hard my stomach would hurt. I did it because I wanted to believe that despite the messed up person that I am, despite all the scars and the holes in my chest, I deserve another shot at happiness.

I know it took a while, but I couldn’t be prouder.

I did it.

– Jun Mark Patilan

– Artwork : Henn Kim

Shining

I crave a gentle life.

I know what hell looks like already.

More harsh lessons aren’t necessary.

Give me soft evenings, sweet as chocolate.

Nights worn like wool.

Let’s laugh till we’re in tears,

alongside those who make loving us look easy.

I want to breathe in the air of everywhere I once dreamt of making memories.

Though my hardships have shaped me,

in beautiful and painful ways that I will forever be grateful for,

I want my days to be full and affectionate.

I want to be formless,

someone who flows and moves without worry.

Some days I’m water.

Others, I’m lava.

Both are real.

Both are me.

All versions of me are honest and necessary.

Who I am is safe when respected.

I’d rather be a great friend to a few

than an acquaintance to many.

I’d rather be widely accepting

than widely accepted.

I want to be the one that others know it’s safe to turn to.

I want to be the person who I needed all those years ago.

There’s a softness within me that wasn’t always there.

It grew from heinous places.

Cold, callous, remorseful places.

My softness is my greatest strength.

To not be hardened by the very things meant to break you,

that’s what I’m most proud of.

Now, everyone near me gets my light.

This way we all shine.

– J. Raymond

Try a little tenderness

You need to understand woman sexuality. Her deepest thrills are psychological, not physical. Her mind is the most potent erogenous zone, and the key to her arousal lies in understanding her emotions, thoughts, and desires.

You need to understand that her fantasies and passions often dwell in the realms of connection, intimacy, and emotional resonance.

You need to understand that this submission is a gift she gives willingly, and it should be cherished and honored.

You need to understand that communication is crucial. Open, honest, and empathetic dialogue can help unlock her true desires and needs.

You need to understand her words, but more importantly, the feelings behind them. Active listening and responding with genuine interest and care can deepen your connection and enhance intimacy.

You need to understand that her sexual satisfaction is intertwined with her emotional well-being. When she feels loved, respected, and appreciated, her sexual desire flourishes.

You need to understand that creating a supportive and nurturing environment will help her feel secure and open, allowing her to fully express her sexuality.

You need to understand that every woman is unique. Her preferences, boundaries, and fantasies will differ from others.

You need to understand and respect her individuality, taking the time to learn what specifically excites and fulfills her. Tailoring your approach to her unique personality and desires will create a more fulfilling and intimate relationship for both of you.

– Abhikesh