Tag: trauma

Sherrie Campbell PhD

I am sensitive but I’m accused of being angry when I am not .

In a test 15 years ago at least , my score for emotional intelligence was 50 out of 55.

Family usually points a fiver at me without taking responsibility for their own actions and holds negative feelings and views for decades precluding true change and trust in creating a much safer foundation .

Sherrie below

Because emotionally abusive people do not care about the emotions of other people, they have no problem doing all they can to step all over them. When you show that you are hurt or angry in any way, they become irritated. They are irritated because your feelings make them uncomfortable.

The moment they feel uncomfortable, they blame you, even when they caused their own discomfort by being hurtful towards you. Hypocrisy at its finest. The more they can hurt you, the angrier and more frustrated they become with you.

There is no way to reason with people who are this unfeeling. They can rage, abuse, manipulate, denigrate you and swiftly turn around and call you too sensitive. The mindset to hold is that you are not too sensitive. The sensitivity chip is missing in them.

Abandonment Wounds

AT THE HEART OF ALL TRAUMA

At the heart of all trauma, a terrible sense of isolation, disconnection, loneliness.

Follow your trauma to its devastating core, friend, to its heart of darkness, and you will inevitably meet the abandonment wound, the pain of all pains.

Abandoned by mother, father. Forgotten and misunderstood by the world. Cast out of heaven and separated from the Godhead. Divided from life.

Of course, it’s an illusion. You were never separate from the mountains, the forests, the diamond drops of morning dew. You were never broken, never rotten at your core, never separate from the One. You were always loved. The terrible heart of darkness was always your own exquisitely beautiful heart of light, so fragile, so powerful, so loveable, so real.

Ultimately others cannot save us. Each of us are called to confront our aloneness, dive into the heart of our trauma, and find solace and sanctuary there. Others can hold our trembling hands but they cannot travel for us.

There is no external saviour, and the lie of love is that another human being – parent, partner, guru or god – can complete you.

No. Your completeness is in your brokenness. We cannot save each other but we can weep together, walk together, share our terror, our horror, our shame, our hope and our awe.

Walking in the forest at dawn, our eyes meet.

I recognise your longing as my own.

Love is a recognition.

Author: Jeff Foster

Artwork: Welder Wings