Tag: malignant

Your extended family may simply not understand you. They might believe it’s in everyone’s best interest that you reconcile with your ex-partner. ‘For the sake of the children’, they say! All they know is that you’re struggling and the children have cut off, or distanced themselves from you, and perhaps from them too. They don’t understand what’s really going on, and to be honest, most of us were blindsided by it too, having never heard of ‘parental alienation’ until it was happening to us, our partner or someone we know.⁠

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Going no contact and having unsupportive family members is not for the faint of heart. If you find yourself reading this post, know that you are taking a massively courageous step in your life. You are understanding and coming to accept this is where you’re at. Just because your family members don’t understand why you are going no contact, doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. And if they’re not willing to try to understand, it’s not your job to explain or justify yourself. You’ve got enough going on just dealing with all this. When we protect ourselves from narcissistic people, we often discover the chameleon nature of the narcissist and see how in their other relationships, they may be present yet another facade. Extended family members may know the narcissistic in your life is a pillar of the community or great fun or ‘successful’ or charming or whatever it is, but this is just the front, the Hollywood facade. This is partly why extended family members and friends may not understand it from your point of view, and may wrongly think you’re being overdramatic or selfish. You are not. You are being self-protecting. This is a huge difference. Remind yourself that those who have your back or want to understand will. Those that do not will reveal their closed mindedness or personal agenda to you. Taking care of ourselves sometimes means going against the grain. It sometimes means doing things radically differently than the status quo. It also can entail trusting our intuition over the words of others and staying firmly rooted in our boundaries. I send you courage and love. Stay strong. ⁠

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