Tag: family

In Morocco, the plight of divorced mothers

Following separation, guardianship automatically reverts to the father, whereas the mother (who, in most cases, takes care of the children) has no rights over them. Faced with this injustice, there are calls for a new reform of the Moroccan family code.
— Read on www.lemonde.fr/en/le-monde-africa/article/2023/07/31/in-morocco-the-plight-of-the-divorced-mothers_6073380_124.html

No love : Narcissistic, Distortion -Sherrie Campbell PhD

There is no love in highly dysfunctional family systems. The word love is thrown around quite a bit, but more as a manipulation than a genuine expression of emotion. If love were genuine, it could not be given and then abruptly taken away any time you disagree on something.

Love in a manipulative family is given when they have a need of their own they want you to meet. It is given to get something in return. As soon as they get what they want, they stop showing you their love until they need something again.

Their love is quickly replaced with ignoring you, punishing you, raging at you, or ostracizing you. This type of inconsistency is grueling to be on the other side of. The teaching to take is to not expect love from people who simply do not value it.

Toxic Family Abuse – Sherrie Campbell Ph D

It’s always interesting when a person with no experience with toxic family abuse feels compelled to judge your decisions and experiences. There are many who come at you with “there is a no one size fits all” approach when it comes to no contact.

Abuse is abuse. It’s not about size or amount. Abuse is what abuse is.

This type of ignorance tends to come when definitive boundaries have been set. When you have finally taken enough abuse and you decide to take care of your unique situation with your family, these types of people start with their unsolicited, often arrogant advice and opinions.

These are not opinions/advice you have to take. If they have not suffered what you have, they have no basis, experience or platform to advise you from.

Choose people who support you, whether they have lived it or not. People who support you will trust that you have absolutely made a self-respecting and self-loving decision to better your life.

Respect in a Toxic Family – Sherrie Campbell PhD

The word respect in a toxic family equates to obey. It has nothing to do with holding someone in high esteem or in admiration of their most outstanding and beautiful qualities. In psychologically abusive families, respect is demanded rather than earned.

This is why these types of family systems are so dysfunctional. When respect is demanded but not given or reciprocated, we come to deeply despise those power-holders who are demanding the respect. In toxic families respect is used to create “good guys” and “bad guys.”

When respect is used as a threat, rather than taught and modeled as a value, respect cannot be developed. It is impossible to like, respect or trust a person who demands a respect they do not give. The mindset to hold is that the more someone demands your respect the, less they earn it, and the less they deserve it.