Tag: family

Ignoring Baby crying

The leading baby ” experts ” stated that allowing baby to cry for 15 minutes was best . It went against my nature but I did so as baby grew out of newborn stage . I don’t think I ever went a full 15 minutes .

It was part of the new world order to have detached moms and dads and psychologically challenged children; ie erasing families !

Crying is how babies from birth to about five years old communicate their needs. When caregivers regularly ignore these cries, the baby’s stress response system becomes overstimulated and unregulated. This repeated stress, especially without comfort, can alter how a child’s brain, nervous system, and immune system develop. Scientists refer to this as stress becoming “biologically embedded,” meaning early experiences shape long-term health and behavior.

When a baby cries without being soothed, stress hormones like cortisol flood their body. If this happens too often, it can interfere with how the brain grows—especially areas responsible for emotions, thinking, and memory. Studies on both animals and humans show that neglect during early years leads to increased anxiety, stronger fear reactions, and slower development of the frontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and emotional control.

Brain scans of children who experienced early neglect—such as those raised in institutions—show physical changes, including reduced white matter (needed for learning) and enlarged amygdalae (linked to fear and anxiety). Over time, this can lead to problems with self-control, focus, and learning.

Ignoring babies’ distress also weakens emotional bonding. Babies who are consistently comforted learn to trust their caregivers. But if crying is ignored, they may form insecure attachment patterns. These children often grow up more anxious, emotionally distant, or unable to manage stress well.

Biologically, early emotional neglect also affects hormone balance and the immune system. Chronically stressed babies often show abnormal cortisol levels and higher inflammation markers. This makes them more vulnerable to illnesses and long-term conditions like depression, heart disease, and metabolic issues later in life.

Behaviorally, these children are more likely to struggle with anxiety, aggression, or attention problems. Studies show that even years later, children who experienced early emotional neglect score lower in language and problem-solving skills and may face challenges in relationships.

In short, babies need responsive care not just for emotional reasons, but to support healthy brain, hormone, and immune system development. While occasional crying is normal, ongoing neglect of emotional needs in early years can leave long-lasting biological and psychological marks.

Research papers:

PMCID: PMC3887079

PMCID: PMC2817950

PMCID: PMC3690164

PMCID: PMC3422632

PMCID: PMC4635964

PMCID: PMC4074672

Alienation & extended Famlies

“We often talk about how alienation cuts off one relationship. But in reality the truth is, it severs an entire family line. It has no mercy as it leaves parents without their children. It also leaves grandparents sitting by their windows, flipping through old photo albums, wondering what they did to deserve this treatment.

Remembering all those bedtime hugs, the silly stories, and backyard adventures that came to such a sudden end.If you ask any alienated grandparent, they’ll likely say: “I never thought I’d ever become a stranger to the child I once held in my arms as a baby.”

Now, ask the parents, and most of them will tell you: “I never imagined my own mother or father would lose their grandchild because someone I once trusted decided to destroy everything because of me.”

The saddest part? The alienator isn’t satified with severing just one bond—they tear through entire generations. They conciously choose to rewrite the family story. They turn family closeness into distance, and loving memories into something that hurts too much to remember.

Still, both the parents and grandparents hold on. They keep the birthday cards safely tucked away in drawers. In their mind’s eye, they remember the favorite colors, or the silly sayings, and the way a child’s head once rested under their chin.

Just like the parents who still hear the words, “I love you, Dad,” or, “Don’t let me go, Mom.”

For those living through this, you know that this pain doesn’t just come and go. Instead, it follows you everywhere. Into the grocery store, where another child looks just like yours. Into every holiday season, where an empty chair sits at the table. Even into your nightly dreams, where the reunion plays out perfectly, until you wake up to the same numbing silence you’ve been carrying for months, and sometimes years.

Yet… we still hope. That’s what so many don’t understand. Even after all the unanswered calls, all the doors that were slammed shut on us, all the letters marked “Return to Sender,” we still hope.

We hold onto the possibility of one more chance.

One more knock on the door.

One more opportunity to say, “I never stopped loving you.”

To the alienated grandparents out there, I want to say this: You’re not forgotten. The grief you feel is real. Your love still matters. That special place you held in your grandchild’s life should never have been taken from you.To the parents who are still hanging on: Don’t ever let go.

You’re not weak for caring. You’re certainly not foolish for loving. After all, you’re a parent, and that’s what we do.

To those reading this who’ve never lived through this kind of emotional torture: Please know this kind of silence doesn’t happen by accident. It’s designed.. It’s the product of manipulation, control, and the belief that love should have limits. Maybe one day, the door will open again. Maybe a child, or a grandchild will ask the question that begins to undo all the lies that were told.”

Until then, we wait in the wings… together

✍️ David Shubert

Narcissist Fathers

Being raised by a narcissist father means your father hasn’t fully matured emotionally. His main focus is: his own needs, the way he’s perceived by others, and being ‘respected’ by his family. He tends to confuse respect with obedience. He doesn’t want connection, vulnerability, or emotional closeness—he wants control. He expects to be admired and followed without question, even if his actions are hurtful or unfair. Expressing your feelings or setting boundaries is seen as disrespect. In his world, love is conditional. If you agree with him, you are praised. If you challenge him, you are punished—emotionally, mentally, or even through cold silence.

Growing up like this teaches you to suppress your voice. You walk on eggshells, constantly calculating your words and actions to avoid triggering his ego. You learn to doubt yourself, to prioritize his moods over your own peace, and to shrink yourself so you don’t outshine him. Your achievements may be ignored or claimed as his own, while your mistakes are magnified and used against you.

A narcissistic father doesn’t guide or nurture; he dominates and invalidates. He’s more concerned with how the family appears in public than how they feel in private. Your emotional needs are dismissed as weakness, and empathy is rarely shown. Over time, this creates deep wounds—feelings of unworthiness, people-pleasing tendencies, and a longing for a father who truly sees and supports you. Healing begins when you recognize that his behavior was not your fault, and you start reclaiming your identity, one truth at a time.