Tag: Children
Validating adult children & cherish your own positive memories
2:5 Full Time Jobs Normal for Mom , low no pay
As a stay at home Mom I had vision for my life , when each son was in school . My own business had great appeal and I had varied interest to consider .
Of course having a purpose in his life, meant doing what he wanted , which was a lot of being away from home and spending lots of money 💰if and when he chose .
It was important for him to align with the appearance of success and harmony.
I don’t feel that at any point in 21 years of being in the same home, when he was at home .. he wasn’t present ..
He is deeply defensive , and concerned for his happiness .
Never seeing the whole , bonded and dedicated to a partnership , ongoing , that sucks the positive energy from a relationship .
Never considering my needs , my need for action , and support I can assure you emotions never factored into an equation of self preservation on high .
So of course I never did enough .
My body responded to the distorted home life , the projected blame in silence.
Of course I was a monster Mom and must have earned that designation as an induced mental patient who was aware of treachery within the family , the abusive side effects on our children and the trauma.
21 years of his WAR , taking as many prisoners as possible and holding his position though its clear, his truth is neigh , force or choice .
Ignoring my effort to inform him of factual results , none more vital than allowing truth to heal wounds in each child , the multifaceted irregular and illegal truths are forced into light by a crisis .
I asked for 13k to take a course in integrated nutrition in 2005. Of course he said no, he had other priorities and overinflated income that was always spending more than coming in .
Failing to see the results of my ability to produce income and or hoping to keep me down on the economic scale is a reality .
That shows up in the divorce contract , signed when I was medicated into Bipolar ll , secreting the mental , physical , spiritual and financial abuse in a distortion that made me responsible for everything .
Medical and Legal were my responsibility .
The Virginia Supreme Court heard my case on that word responsible , and I lost .
Instead of asking for cost of living increases , the presentation was asking for an increase to cover medical insurance.
Insurance in 2005 was $300ish and Co pays which were going up.
Anthem Blue Cross took 3k from me , to being health insurance at 1k permonth. My 1st bill 2 weeks later was 3k and I decided to release AMA and medical insurance .
Anthem Blue Cross did not receive a claim from me , NOR did they refund my money .
The side effects of malignancy in a marriage are many including surviving the intended death , that a human being prefers in order to escape facts that allow healing for 4 adults and 6 grandchildren.
I have assured him of a conclusion of unfinished, unclarified business , extortion and leverage of children who deserve release and responsibility; who lost their Mom , were deprived of a safe foundation , taught to fear and hate Mom , for the WIN 🏆.
Current situations highlight this discord and distortion and I’m assured of closure and healing time to further my intentions in regard to a career. Vision and dreams of childhood have a part in my future, as well as intentions and dreams of my work , my spiritual and my physical will be in harmony .
The unfinished, the continued secrets , lies and intentions to divest me of any of progress as he’s benefited with each and every obstacle and has never felt obligated to assist , even after an agreement signed 4 years ago .
Motherhood , was destroyed in varied acts and lack of respect and support by a partner who remained BOSS man , lacking knowledge or a desire to be part of a whole , has no idea of partnership or a partners worth .
Only what a person offers , produces , negating the spirit and soul needs .
I have accepted my value , and with each example of abuse and delay in my Grand Design , I release more any attachment to anyone who continues to accept a version of me that does not exist and dishonors my essence .
I am worthy to create a new life freed of the responsibility of abuses and negatives that created Mom as past , and never to discuss past , or honor it.
https://www.baby-chick.com/study-says-motherhood-is-equivalent-to-working-2-5-full-time-jobs/
Mother’s Blamed in PA
Yes I know this happens .
It happens with Dads who are not hands on , need to target all responsibilities failure elsewhere, projecting blame to Mom . No proof required , just stating blame , having supporters with an agenda 😉and utilizing services and courts and judges who do not serve the best interest of children nor family .
It is billions in revenue and allows systems to control families, to erase them , causing or adding to psychological damage that need not be.
I hear more about Dad and money ; his wanting to hold on to his , or miser it out , still controlling , manipulating and winning what is competition.
Seldom is a male admitting grief for his children, never negotiating, cooperating but holding the energy of domestic abuse , which does adversely affect children .
Society can and will do better.
Children are not leverage or deserving of abuse that’s fallout from parents.
Jab: The horrific reality for too many
Healthcare & Legal: Two Parallel Systems – Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based “Parental Alienation” (AB-PA)
NPD do not co parent
😝 Narcissists don’t co-parent. They don’t want to fall in line and do the right thing. They don’t want to be held accountable, follow the rules and regulations, and don’t want to be harmonious. They don’t want to play on a team.
The only thing a narcissist is interested in – is narcissistic supply. This means, “I can affect other people significantly enough to know that I exist.” It’s the attention they crave more than anything else.
So, when you are attempting to co-parent with a narcissist, they are going to trigger you. They’re going to be uncooperative. They’re going to say one thing and do another. They will use the children as pawns, absolutely to trigger you to get a reaction, which means – I’m significant enough to affect you.
A narcissist wants to play games and use all of these tactics to punish you. How dare you leave them? Or how dare you try and get on with your life? Or how dare you tell other people what they are or how they behave? How dare you?
The false self can’t deal with that. So, punishing you by using the children as pawns is a very, very common tactic.
For an answer to all this – have a look at these resources –
Parallel Parenting – https://bit.ly/3bmz9ZO.
All People Co-Parenting With A Narcissist Needs These Tools – https://bit.ly/3k1maRd.
The Thriver’s Guide To Co-Parenting With A Narcissist – https://bit.ly/3k1HWnT.
Like so many other Thrivers – use the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) to detox from the narcissist to give you the strength and empowerment to give yourself and your children a brighter future.
Full details of NARP can be found here – https://bit.ly/33bIGyY.
Much love xo ❤️
Intimate Truths by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
~ Kahlil Gibran ~
Art by Janice Van Kronkhite
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