As a stay at home Mom I had vision for my life , when each son was in school . My own business had great appeal and I had varied interest to consider .
Of course having a purpose in his life, meant doing what he wanted , which was a lot of being away from home and spending lots of money 💰if and when he chose .
It was important for him to align with the appearance of success and harmony.
I don’t feel that at any point in 21 years of being in the same home, when he was at home .. he wasn’t present ..
He is deeply defensive , and concerned for his happiness .
Never seeing the whole , bonded and dedicated to a partnership , ongoing , that sucks the positive energy from a relationship .
Never considering my needs , my need for action , and support I can assure you emotions never factored into an equation of self preservation on high .
So of course I never did enough .
My body responded to the distorted home life , the projected blame in silence.
Of course I was a monster Mom and must have earned that designation as an induced mental patient who was aware of treachery within the family , the abusive side effects on our children and the trauma.
21 years of his WAR , taking as many prisoners as possible and holding his position though its clear, his truth is neigh , force or choice .
Ignoring my effort to inform him of factual results , none more vital than allowing truth to heal wounds in each child , the multifaceted irregular and illegal truths are forced into light by a crisis .
I asked for 13k to take a course in integrated nutrition in 2005. Of course he said no, he had other priorities and overinflated income that was always spending more than coming in .
Failing to see the results of my ability to produce income and or hoping to keep me down on the economic scale is a reality .
That shows up in the divorce contract , signed when I was medicated into Bipolar ll , secreting the mental , physical , spiritual and financial abuse in a distortion that made me responsible for everything .
Medical and Legal were my responsibility .
The Virginia Supreme Court heard my case on that word responsible , and I lost .
Instead of asking for cost of living increases , the presentation was asking for an increase to cover medical insurance.
Insurance in 2005 was $300ish and Co pays which were going up.
Anthem Blue Cross took 3k from me , to being health insurance at 1k permonth. My 1st bill 2 weeks later was 3k and I decided to release AMA and medical insurance .
Anthem Blue Cross did not receive a claim from me , NOR did they refund my money .
The side effects of malignancy in a marriage are many including surviving the intended death , that a human being prefers in order to escape facts that allow healing for 4 adults and 6 grandchildren.
I have assured him of a conclusion of unfinished, unclarified business , extortion and leverage of children who deserve release and responsibility; who lost their Mom , were deprived of a safe foundation , taught to fear and hate Mom , for the WIN 🏆.
Current situations highlight this discord and distortion and I’m assured of closure and healing time to further my intentions in regard to a career. Vision and dreams of childhood have a part in my future, as well as intentions and dreams of my work , my spiritual and my physical will be in harmony .
The unfinished, the continued secrets , lies and intentions to divest me of any of progress as he’s benefited with each and every obstacle and has never felt obligated to assist , even after an agreement signed 4 years ago .
Motherhood , was destroyed in varied acts and lack of respect and support by a partner who remained BOSS man , lacking knowledge or a desire to be part of a whole , has no idea of partnership or a partners worth .
Only what a person offers , produces , negating the spirit and soul needs .
I have accepted my value , and with each example of abuse and delay in my Grand Design , I release more any attachment to anyone who continues to accept a version of me that does not exist and dishonors my essence .
I am worthy to create a new life freed of the responsibility of abuses and negatives that created Mom as past , and never to discuss past , or honor it.