Teach Children

“We need to teach the children the old words,

words like brabble and grubble,

twitter-light and clinkerbell;

words which dance and trip and slip

and drip like honey off the tongue

Teach them that a hazy halo of cloud

around the moon is called a moonbroch

and that swiftly moving clouds are named

cairies;

how a vixen’s wedding is a sunny shower of

rain, and that a single sunbeam breaking through thick cloud is known as a messenger

Teach them to know the seasons and scents

of queen of the meadow and bride of the sun,

how to tell Jupiter’s staff from fairy fingers

and which roses bloom with the strawberry moon

Teach them to spot pricklebacks in the tottlegrass,

how to recognise a smeuse or a bishop-barnaby,

when to watch the sky for flittermice and yaffles,

and to pay attention to the dumbeldore and mousearnickle

as she graces the lazy leahs of summer

Teach them a few of the old Sussex words for mud,

like gubber and slub and stodge and pug,

so they know that the precious soil beneath their toes

is anything but worthless dirt

Teach them to be users and keepers and makers

of the words which bring the land alive:

a storybook, where everything has its rightful place, including us;

where the wilds are fearful and filled with magic

and people do noble things, and nothing is impossible

In this world of harsh new words —

words like planetary dysmorphia and solastalgia,

extinction debt and grief mitigation,

megadrought and megafire,

anthropogenic, pyrocene,

words which alarm and get stuck in our throats

describing a world which our hearts cannot grasp —

we need to teach the children the old words,

so that if they should feel lost,

the old words might colour for them

a warm and breathing, living map,

a light to guide them safely home.”

~ Caroline Mellor

Art: Jim Colorex aka Emmanuel Fallet

Education

We destroy the disinterested (I do not mean uninterested) love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards — gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards. In short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else. We kill, not only their curiosity, but their feeling that it is a good and admirable thing to be curious, so that by the age of ten most of them will not ask questions, and will show a good deal of scorn for the few who do. ~John Holt

(Book: How Children Fail [ad] https://amzn.to/47wCJvA)

(Art: Photograph by Bernard Hoffman)

Some Parentified Kids Grow Up to Be Compulsive Caretakers – The Atlantic

Some people who have to be responsible for their siblings or parents as children grow up to be compulsive caretakers.
— Read on www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/10/when-kids-have-to-parent-their-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975/

PA is not normal, not loving towards their child – Charlie McCready

I have read that a parent who alienates their children against their other parent is exhibiting narcissism.

I believe this is so .

The parental alienator is angry you left them, and you’re no longer under their control, paying their bills and/or stroking their ego, and playing their victim/victor games, so you must be punished. They may suffer from a narcissistic wound, and they will use any means, especially the child/children, because that will hurt you the most. Your pain is their pleasure. This is obviously abnormal unhealthy behaviour. Any deep wounds they have are no excuse for them. Instead of taking responsibility, they blame others – it’s easier. Parental alienators are highly manipulative, they use coercive control, which is basically a way of reducing or totally denying a victim’s freedom, by stripping away their (child’s) sense of self. Parental Alienation with coercive control is abuse. Their end game is to sever and destroy the child’s relationship with their other parent after family separation. They will manipulate a child (subtle use of language, lies, false allegations, bribes, threats …) into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards the target parent and this includes their extended family and friends. This includes any hobbies the ‘target’ parent is interested in. Even their pets. The parental alienator convinces others the child speaks for her/himself – this is similar to gaslighting behaviour seen in situations of domestic violence whereby the perpetrator convinces the victim it’s their fault. Also, the parental alienator triangulates others into believing the targeted parent is the cause of the children’s rejection. Bottom line, parental alienation is abuse, and it is not normal behaviour for a child to totally reject a parent.

#parentalalienation

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationawareness

#coercivecontrol

#childpsychologicalabuse

#traumabonding

#custody

#custodybattle

#highconflictcoparenting

#rejectedparent

#alienatedchild

#fathersrights

#fathersrightsmovement

#mothersrights

#highconflictdivorce

Why Parents and Kids Get Estranged – The Atlantic

Both parents and adult children often fail to recognize how profoundly the rules of family life have changed over the past half century.
— Read on www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/why-parents-and-kids-get-estranged/617612/

Witches

One of my friends told me about a powerful lesson in her daughter’s high school class recently. They’re learning about the Salem Witch Trials, and their teacher told them they were going to play a game.

“I’m going to come around and whisper to each of you whether you’re a witch or a regular person. Your goal is to build the largest group possible that does NOT have a witch in it. At the end, any group found to include a witch gets a failing grade.”

The teens dove into grilling each other. One fairly large group formed, but most of the students broke into small, exclusive groups, turning away anyone they thought gave off even a hint of guilt.

“Okay,” the teacher said. “You’ve got your groups. Time to find out which ones fail. All witches, please raise your hands.”

No one raised a hand.

The kids were confused and told the teacher he’d messed up the game. “Did I? Was anyone in Salem an actual witch? Or did everyone just believe what they’d been told?”

And that is how you teach kids how easy it is to divide a community.

Apps to monitor communication between parents ? Charlie Mc Cready

There are several apps and platforms that family court lawyers may recommend to parents involved in custody battles to facilitate communication and monitor interactions related to their children. Features may include secure messaging, shared calendars, and document storage. The idea is to improve communication and reduce conflict after divorce or separation, especially in cases where there are disagreements over contact and custody. It’s supposed to include communication from grandparents and other family members, as well as parents and children, connecting all important information in one secure place. Abusive texts are monitored. It’s supposed to make life harder for the abusive parent, to check their tone, their language, or their lack of communication, but for many, a ‘tonemeter’ is an extra fee. The children have access, but there are safeguards in place so they can’t see communication between their parents. A Family Court Advisor undertaking a Section 7 report, or a mediator, or a childcare worker, can also have access. ⁠

Some users may find the app to be helpful in facilitating communication and document sharing between co-parents, while others may have concerns about its cost and functionality. There are many complaints, with some people saying the software inverted who owes whom what. Others have said it’s near impossible to cancel renewals. Nobody answers phones. It’s generally said that the only reason anyone uses this software is because of court orders to do so. Most reviews seem to agree it’s all a waste of time and money. It’s a pity they’re not better. What do you think? ⁠

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