Tag: survivors
Reality
Narcissist give subtle hints
Yes , there were hints, which intensified, waxed and waned kinda energy .
It took me a long time to understand that his confidences in sharing his
” friends” experiences were in fact his ..
Prowling , with one of his besties , he talked of cruising the prostitution
are of town..3 months after we married .
His employees crossing the highway for lunch hour paid sex ..
So, yes when I wasn’t viable , he wasn’t available, because it wasn’t his
” job ” .
Expressing the same non interest as his Dad expired or a long period
I began to understand that it was problem with him, and ditto for Mom.
Our sons follow this model, and it’s been heart breaking .. I am worthy
of being cared for .
This Dr’s message was indeed a gift , on this full moon 🌕 Gemini .
Blessings & Peace 🫶🏼
Dona Luna
The Narcissist Does Not Like Your being Sick
As I listened to this professional discuss this topic , I was further liberated by what I’ve known for decades about the past.
I grew up with a Mom who was not demonstrative, did not seem concerned or loving at all, leaving me to feel ” tolerated ” and enslaved to her , though I did not allow her slave like need of me to tie me down, I didn’t take advantage of my ” free time ” . I was at friend’s houses a lot , a motherless child .
This indifference was extremely painful when I was ill, or needed guidance. And this pain was deep, I didn’t know the word was neglect . She was cold and I have spent tons of hours of time learning all I could , and understand the “side effects ” of Twilight Sleep ” given to her in labor with me . Hypnotic drugs , a cocktail which took her so deep into that nothingness , we lost our connection, or bond .m
To my complete, undoing I wed that energy , of not caring , not participating and in fact reflecting anger at having me ill and not preforming a duty .
I had that come up in a self reading …his rage was intensified when I could not take care of our family … I felt that intuitively.
Unalive made better sense to him , so normal could be restored . Waiting until several were away from home , I don’t think he searched for a Mother for our sons.
Of course he never sought help for me, had anyone stay with me etc. So my grief was rancid ,mon top of the illness of being prescribed medication for something I didn’t have
Narcissist damage your nervous system 🤯 Especially your gut
Well, alrighty then ….
Prescribed Xanax for IBS
IBS results from lack of gut microbial, distinctly a side effect of Narcissistic Abuse , malignant
and high conflict .
Psychiatric RX destroy the gut ..
My nervous system was adversely affected, and repeadly as a child .
Part of me died
“A Part of Me Died”
It didn’t kill me, but something changed,
A piece of me lost, forever estranged.
I walked away, yet not the same,
A shadowed soul, a quiet flame.
That day took part of who I was,
Left me searching, without cause.
I carry on, but feel the void,
A heart once whole, now destroyed.
It didn’t end me, but I’m not whole—
An echo remains, deep in my soul.
I’m here, I breathe, but truth denied—
A part of me, that day, quietly died.
Art – Deep at the End by Jennifer Jenesko
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 