I will not forget you .
you are in my waking thoughts ,
my sweetest memories , my dearest dreams .
I will not forget you.
You have touched my soul , opened my eyes ,
changed my very experience of the universe .
I will not forget you .
I see you in the flowers , the sunset , the sweep
of the horizon and all things that stretch to infinity.
I will not forget you .
I have carved you on the palm of my hand .
I carry you with me forever …
~ Victoria Erickson ~
Artist Credit : Kathy Hare
Both parents and adult children often fail to recognize how profoundly the rules of family life have changed over the past half century.
— Read on www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/why-parents-and-kids-get-estranged/617612/
Narcissistic alienating parents are characterised by a self-centred, manipulative, and exploitative nature. They prioritise their own needs, desires, and self-image above the well-being of others, including their children. Here are some key points:
Lack of empathy: Narcissistic individuals often struggle with empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They have difficulty recognising and validating the emotional experiences of their children or anyone else in their lives. Their focus is primarily on themselves and their own needs.
Manipulative and controlling behaviour: Narcissistic parents tend to manipulate and control those around them to maintain a sense of power and superiority. They may use tactics such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, and coercive control to assert dominance and maintain control over their children.
Exploitation of relationships: They view relationships as opportunities for personal gain rather than genuine connections based on mutual care and support. They may exploit their partner’s and their children’s love and loyalty to serve their own agenda, using them as extensions of themselves rather than recognising their autonomy and individual needs. This also goes for other family members and work associates, in fact, anyone in their lives.
Lack of genuine love and care: Narcissistic individuals struggle to experience and express genuine love and care for others. Their primary focus is obtaining admiration, attention, and validation. As a result, their relationships, including those with their children, lack the depth of emotional connection, and authentic care that healthy relationships require.
Superficial charm and manipulation: They often appear charming, charismatic, and even loving in the early stages of a relationship. However, their behaviour tends to be manipulative, self-serving, and inconsistent over time. Their actions are primarily driven by a need for control, admiration, and validation rather than genuine care and concern.
They lose interest when someone no longer ‘serves’ them. When someone calls out their behaviour, they’ll go on the attack to protect their interests/lies. It’s important to recognise that not all alienating parents are narcissistic, and not all narcissistic parents engage in parental alienation. But when these two dynamics intersect, the results can harm and damage the child’s well-being and the parent-child relationship.
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationcoach #alienatedparent #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #coparenting #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissist #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissismawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissismawareness
Why nar
It is tragic that social services etc in this case, and so many others, are so concerned about the alienating parent’s mental health, that they sacrifice the child’s and the target parent’s. The child has finally come to a teacher saying they’re afraid to go home, that their parent is ‘trouble’ and yet this isn’t seen as an opportunity for the ‘target’ parent to step in because that will upset the alienating parent. It’s madness. Of course, the child will probably be saying they don’t want to go to the alienated parent’s home because they fear the retribution, and also they’ve been programmed to believe this is not good for them either (for many reasons that have been imprinted on them). It is incredibly sad that this isn’t an opportunity to mend the relationship with the non-abusive parent. Social services try to do their best, but it is based on false information and a child who has been enmeshed, trauma bonded and psychologically abused.
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #highconflictcoparenting #parentalalienationcoaching #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienation #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedfather #rejectedmother #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticparent #narcissismawareness #narcissisticrelationship #narcissists #narcissism #narcissismawareness
Parents who become alienated (not estranged, alienation is rejection with no justification), from their previously loving children benefit from coming to terms with the pathology. This is to understand the root causes of the problem. We often find we cannot rely on the mental health and legal services offered. If they don’t have an understanding of ‘parental alienation’ it can be a waste of your time and and resources, and potentially exacerbate the situation. That is unfortunate and I hope things will change, but as I write, this is the situation we’re in. There are a number of reasons for this which I often address, but that’s not what this post is about.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is often recommended during adversarial court cases. It was originally designed for people with borderline personality disorder, and it focuses on teaching emotional management, enhancing interpersonal relationships, and developing mindfulness techniques. Incorporating acceptance and change strategies, DBT emphasises the balance between self-acceptance and personal growth, which is particularly helpful for people struggling with emotional regulation, self-destructive behaviours, and unstable relationships. Where there’s a dearth of empathy and potential for cruel behaviours (in the alienated parent or the children), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) could be integrated. They are often dealing with the drama, disruption and chaos created by a borderline/narcissistic/dark personality, alienating parent. CFT helps those who are trying to cope with shame, guilt, and self-loathing. It can rewire the shared delusional beliefs imposed on them through the alienating behaviours. It incorporates mindfulness too for stress reduction.
Navigating the complexities of parental alienation isn’t easy, but through the application of therapeutic approaches like DBT and CFT, there’s a path toward fostering healing and understanding. Also through my 9-step program or 1-2-1 private coaching, alienated parents can work toward restoring the bond with their children, building resilience, and a more positive future.
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationawareness #ParentalAlienation #parentalalienationisreal #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #rejectedparent #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #narcissisticchildabuse #FamilyCourt #familylaw #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissismawareness #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticrelationship #narcissists #narcissismawareness
There are several apps and platforms that family court lawyers may recommend to parents involved in custody battles to facilitate communication and monitor interactions related to their children. Features may include secure messaging, shared calendars, and document storage. The idea is to improve communication and reduce conflict after divorce or separation, especially in cases where there are disagreements over contact and custody. It’s supposed to include communication from grandparents and other family members, as well as parents and children, connecting all important information in one secure place. Abusive texts are monitored. It’s supposed to make life harder for the abusive parent, to check their tone, their language, or their lack of communication, but for many, a ‘tonemeter’ is an extra fee. The children have access, but there are safeguards in place so they can’t see communication between their parents. A Family Court Advisor undertaking a Section 7 report, or a mediator, or a childcare worker, can also have access.
Some users may find the app to be helpful in facilitating communication and document sharing between co-parents, while others may have concerns about its cost and functionality. There are many complaints, with some people saying the software inverted who owes whom what. Others have said it’s near impossible to cancel renewals. Nobody answers phones. It’s generally said that the only reason anyone uses this software is because of court orders to do so. Most reviews seem to agree it’s all a waste of time and money. It’s a pity they’re not better. What do you think?
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissismawareness
Thoughts for today
Bob Marley was once asked if there was a perfect woman. He replies :
Who cares about perfection?
Even the moon is not perfect, it is full of craters.
The sea is incredibly beautiful, but salty and dark in the depths.
The sky is always infinite, but often cloudy.
So, everything that is beautiful isn’t perfect, it’s special.
Therefore, every woman can be special to someone.
Stop being “perfect”, but try to be free and live, doing what you love, not wanting to impress others!
Full story in comments 👇👇👇
Can and do… A half sister who was molested
by her Uncle before age 5 , tried to initiate me, within family , and neighbors .
We double dated when I was 12 , and not enjoying the ” throw down ” by my ” date ” , I passed .. never spoke to him again… Sis took him , and I found that out 1 night camping in our yard…
There was so much perversion targeted at me I felt to blame , like it was my looks .. I looked
16 at 12 🐸
I was scared of boys , dated but chastely until age 17 ..
I prefer , choice , not force and casual is not
my thing…
That said , I did have a few masculine
dominate tendencies …. 😘❤️🐸
Sister died in 2013 , never knowing who her Dad was …
Darkness , all her life , the shadow … she could not hear or talk , maybe not see at her end .
See no evil , hear no evil , speak no evil ..
She never healed , holding the darkness
into her transitional exit from her body .
Imitation would be her choice …
reality is below .
I’m grateful to have thwarted , all attempts by boys as a result of a single incident , he did NOT touch my soul 🙌🙏🏼
Can children sexually abuse other children? COCSA is a form of sexual abuse where a child is sexually abused by one or more children.
— Read on saprea.org/blog/can-children-sexually-abuse-other-children/
An alienated parent experiences profound emotional turmoil, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are often isolated from their child due to the alienating tactics of the other parent, which can lead to overwhelming loneliness and confusion. The deep sense of loss, akin to a ‘living bereavement’, encompasses not just the physical absence of their child but also the loss of the once-strong emotional bond. The alienated parent feels helpless, unable to protect their child from further harm, and may experience anguish and betrayal as their child parrots negative statements from the alienating parent.
To navigate this hugely difficult situation, alienated parents can seek support through counselling to express their emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain perspective. In the case of the coaching I do, we often work in small groups, which can be incredibly supportive and/or one-to-one work. Prioritising self-care, both physically and emotionally, is crucial. Learning about parental alienation, maintaining boundaries, and considering legal recourse when necessary can empower. Focusing on reconciliation rather than retaliation when interacting with alienated children is crucial. Recognising and addressing these complex emotions is the first step toward healing and potentially rebuilding the parent-child relationship.
These daily posts are here to spread awareness, inform and (where possible) uplift. But don’t hesitate to contact me directly if I can help you with coaching. There’s more information on my website.
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedfather #rejectedmother #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticrelationship #narcissismawareness #narcissism
Many years ago, I realized he had met his true twin .
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 