Tag: healing

Enmeshed In the Lies and Trauma Nothing Changes 18 does not bring Waking

When will the ALIENATED CHILD see the light/the bigger picture?

We wish for a sudden transformation at certain times, such as an 18th birthday, or when they go to college or university and have a more independent life, but it doesn’t, unfortunately, always happen like that. And on that note, those milestones, those dates in the diary that make us think of our alienated child more than usual, are particularly difficult. The best way to deal with those times is to do something you love, treat yourself, be with people you love and who love you. There is still love. But we miss them. We worry that the alienating behaviours become ingrained and passed down through another generation. It truly is a mental health crisis, and so desperately needs recognition and support. All we can do is work on ourselves, on our own mental and emotional resilience. To be a good example in their lives whenever they might see the bigger picture and want to reconnect. Keep lighting a candle for them on all those occasions, keep the love in your heart, keep going, stay strong.

Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help. https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

#parentalalienationischildabuse #narcissisticabuse #highconflictdivorce #narcissisticabusesurvivor #divorcinganarcissist #consciousparent #consciousparenting #childrenfirst #parentalalienation #reunification #stopparentalalienation #fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #mothersrights #coparentingwithanarcissist #onlinecoaching #selfcare #selflove #healing #healingjourney #positivementalattitude #positivementalhealth #parentalalienationawareness #survival #traumabonding #endparentalalienation #alienatedparent #emotionalabuse #childhoodtrauma #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting

Excerpt – Little Child Rising

“In order to deal with the feelings related to the absent parent, children often make the assumption that they are to blame. This is the only way they can make sense of it- if the adult isn’t loving, it must be because we are ‘unworthy’. After all, “Rachel’s father spends a lot of time with her”, and “Michael’s mother always hugs and kisses him in public”, so if yours doesn’t, it must be because there is something wrong with you, something not enough, something not worthy of love. Thus begins the internalized shame and self-blame cycle, often reflected in the disdain we feel for our bodies, our creations, our very existence. Of course our unworthiness is entirely untrue, but it is experienced as deeply true for the child self. And if the bitter parent actually told you that you are unworthy, or bad, or a mistake or anything that undermines your sense of self, then you have literal evidence of your own valuelessness. Who do we believe if not the parent? Who defines us before we are ready to define ourselves? It then becomes very difficult to recognize and call out abuse and neglect, because you move through the world certain of only one thing- your inherent unworthiness. If you are constantly seeking validation and approval, if you are not yet at an egoic stage where you can recognize your own value, on what basis do you stand up to those who abuse you? I think one of the reasons I didn’t call out my mother in my early adulthood was because I had taken her negative message to heart. If I was a bad person, how could I demand her to treat me with respect? If I was ‘persona non grata’ on Mother Earth, on what basis would I fight for my right to the light?”

(~an excerpt from my affordable “Inner Child Rising: Healing the Effects of Unawakened Parents” course. This simple and easy-to-follow downloadable audio course will show you how to transform wounds and patterns, and move forward in your life. If curious, check it out at the link below…
https://jeffbrown.co/inner-child-rising-course/

Healing Our Wounded Child : Facts

With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us. Our wounded child may represent several generations. Our mother may have suffered throughout her life. Our father may have suffered. Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves. 

So when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we are embracing all the wounded children in our past generations. This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone, but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

Art Work Restless slumber by Adam Oehlers

Our Wounded Child

With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us. Our wounded child may represent several generations. Our mother may have suffered throughout her life. Our father may have suffered. Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves. 

So when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we are embracing all the wounded children in our past generations. This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone, but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

Art Work Restless slumber by Adam Oehlers

I owed myself

I owe myself an apology

For all of the times

I tore myself apart.

When I neglected my own needs

Lowered my standards

Berated myself

And put myself down.

For the self-sabotage

I continually inflicted upon myself

And the times when I apologised

For being who I was

And expressing myself authentically.

And I owe myself

The permission to start anew.

To forgive myself

For the battles I fought

That weren’t mine to fight

For all of the love

That I failed to give myself

And for the times when I failed to realise

That rather than being broken

I was worthy of value, respect 

And beautiful, brilliant things in life

And how I treated myself

Dictated how others would view me

And in turn, behave towards me

So by showering myself

With love, kindness, forgiveness and respect

In turn, I could pave the way

For others to do the same.

Tahlia Hunter

www.raisingvibrations.com.au

Allowed

I AM ALLOWED

I am allowed to receive conscious love.

I am allowed to have needs.

I am allowed to express my emotions.

I am allowed to trust the universe.

I am allowed to desire.

I am allowed to break open and heal.

I am allowed to call in a conscious man.

I am allowed to try something new.

I am allowed to claim my value.

I am allowed to do things that make me happy.

I am allowed to take care of myself.

I am allowed to want more.

I am allowed to take up space.

I am allowed to be powerful.

I am allowed to speak my truth.

I am allowed to love myself.

I am allowed to walk away.

I am allowed to clear space.

I am allowed to open my heart.

I am allowed to be authentic.

I am allowed to be vulnerable.

I am allowed to be soft.

I am allowed to be strong.

I am allowed to outgrow people.

I am allowed to outgrow my old self.

I am allowed to be the Goddess, the queen, the mother, the daughter, the wife, the partner, the lover, the woman I was always created to be.

Author: Jenn

Artist: Wild Pixie Giclee

Not everyone heals their trauma

Not everyone will heal in this lifetime.
It’s important that we accept and understand this.
The perpetual emphasis on acknowledging and healing trauma is a beautiful thing, but its not for everyone. Because some of us don’t have the capacity to heal. Some can’t even get out of bed, because of the weight of their pain and the complexity of their trauma.
Too much has happened, and there is no possibility of transformation. This is very hard to accept in our toxic positivity culture, one where trauma is the new buzz word and where people forget that they are not walking in someone’s else’s shoes. Just because you were able to heal parts of your past, doesn’t mean everyone can heal parts of theirs.
We have all lived in a trauma inducing culture.
Some of us didn’t make it through in one piece. That’s a fact. And if we can just accept this, and honor and comfort them as they are without any effort to ‘heal’ them, we actually stand a chance of co-creating the kind of trauma-sensitive world that avoids this level of suffering altogether. Because trauma is perpetuated by insensitivity. Our tendency to turn a blind eye to the truth of people’s suffering, to shame them for not healing, to blame it on their karma and their choices, is precisely the dissociative consciousness that perpetuates the trauma cycle. You want to help, but you just make it worse. Better to accept people right where they are. Better to provide comfort to the fallen ones. That alone will heal the world ..

an excerpt from ‘Hearticulations’ by Jeff Brown

Artist Lindy Longhurst