“In order to deal with the feelings related to the absent parent, children often make the assumption that they are to blame. This is the only way they can make sense of it- if the adult isn’t loving, it must be because we are ‘unworthy’. After all, “Rachel’s father spends a lot of time with her”, and “Michael’s mother always hugs and kisses him in public”, so if yours doesn’t, it must be because there is something wrong with you, something not enough, something not worthy of love. Thus begins the internalized shame and self-blame cycle, often reflected in the disdain we feel for our bodies, our creations, our very existence. Of course our unworthiness is entirely untrue, but it is experienced as deeply true for the child self. And if the bitter parent actually told you that you are unworthy, or bad, or a mistake or anything that undermines your sense of self, then you have literal evidence of your own valuelessness. Who do we believe if not the parent? Who defines us before we are ready to define ourselves? It then becomes very difficult to recognize and call out abuse and neglect, because you move through the world certain of only one thing- your inherent unworthiness. If you are constantly seeking validation and approval, if you are not yet at an egoic stage where you can recognize your own value, on what basis do you stand up to those who abuse you? I think one of the reasons I didn’t call out my mother in my early adulthood was because I had taken her negative message to heart. If I was a bad person, how could I demand her to treat me with respect? If I was ‘persona non grata’ on Mother Earth, on what basis would I fight for my right to the light?”
(~an excerpt from my affordable “Inner Child Rising: Healing the Effects of Unawakened Parents” course. This simple and easy-to-follow downloadable audio course will show you how to transform wounds and patterns, and move forward in your life. If curious, check it out at the link below…
https://jeffbrown.co/inner-child-rising-course/
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 