Tag: forgiveness

Forgiving

This is how you forgive the person who broke your heart.

You forgive them by giving yourself time to heal. This doesn’t happen all at once. This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow progression. You take two steps forward and four steps back. Sometimes it won’t make sense. But you grow a bit stronger, a bit more resilient, every single day. Even if you don’t always see it.

You forgive them by focusing on yourself. Stop pouring your energy into toxicity. You unplug. You unfollow. Practice self-care. Reread your favorite books and go out with your best friends, laughing and remembering how good things can be when you surround yourself with positivity. Tell your broken heart it’s okay to take a break to remember how to smile again.

You forgive them by removing yourself from the situation. The longer you dwell in it, in the heartache, the more it festers. It’s difficult, but you have to leave it alone. Honor your emotions. Honor your feelings. But don’t keep circling back. Don’t keep obsessing over what occurred. Imagine it like a balloon. Let it float away. Tell it goodbye. It can’t hurt you now.

You forgive them by accepting what they did. That doesn’t mean the pain is erased. That doesn’t mean you suddenly think it’s okay or you’ve let them off the hook. It doesn’t mean they aren’t responsible for their actions or that you’ve forgotten what happened. It just means accepting what’s done is done. It means admitting there is no rewind button. You can only move forward.

You forgive them by regaining your life. Because there is so much more than just one person who broke your heart.

I honor that being honest and truthful are vitally important, and forgiveness is not just, in some cases .

Forgiving – Pino

I’m forgiving

toward the right people

for the right reasons.

I’m not a cold soul

who is intolerant of remorse.

But I’ve come to find

there are two kinds of people:

The ones who are genuinely

sorry for the way they treated you

And the ones who always saw

you as an option and are only back

to test your limits.

Don’t think I don’t know

the difference.

– Samira Vivette

🎨Pino

Boundary Violation

Dr. Annie Kaszina has this to say about forgiveness of your abuser:

Notice, this is all about self-forgiveness. Those people who tell you that you need to forgive the people who hurt and abused you, might well not be considering your feelings in all of this.

Your feelings are what matter.

Toxic people who hurt you quite deliberately don’t need your forgiveness. They won’t do anything good with it. If and when you actually want to forgive them, feel free. But do think what that forgiveness means to you.

It can just mean cutting the cords of resentment – but still holding people accountable for their behavior. In your own mind, at least.

It doesn’t mean exposing yourself to further abuse.

The person who needs your forgiveness is you. Clearly, your life suffered as a result of choices you did or didn’t- could or couldn’t – make.

Even if the choices were wrong, your intention was likely honorable. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow yourself to start to rebuild.

I owed myself

I owe myself an apology

For all of the times

I tore myself apart.

When I neglected my own needs

Lowered my standards

Berated myself

And put myself down.

For the self-sabotage

I continually inflicted upon myself

And the times when I apologised

For being who I was

And expressing myself authentically.

And I owe myself

The permission to start anew.

To forgive myself

For the battles I fought

That weren’t mine to fight

For all of the love

That I failed to give myself

And for the times when I failed to realise

That rather than being broken

I was worthy of value, respect 

And beautiful, brilliant things in life

And how I treated myself

Dictated how others would view me

And in turn, behave towards me

So by showering myself

With love, kindness, forgiveness and respect

In turn, I could pave the way

For others to do the same.

Tahlia Hunter

www.raisingvibrations.com.au