Tag: Children

Marriage to one like the caretaker who did not meet your needs

Yes !

I realized X was as detached and displeased and surface as my Mother !

I realized Mom was loaded with unhealed trauma and our relationship was better as I became a Mom myself but she passed with unhealed and unspoken feelings.

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Narcissistic Alienating Parent -Charlie Mc Cready

It’s been professionally stated that the Alienator is narcissistic

Narcissism is a personality disorder. There are different types of narcissists including malignant, covert/vulnerable, noble, and classical. When the narcissistic person is enraged or their ego wounded, they react angrily, vengefully, and arrogantly … they have a lack of empathy, and they’re grandiose and superior, but at their core, they are insecure, fearful, hypersensitive, and desperately need validation from the outside world, it’s a bottomless pit. Unfortunately, they do terrible damage along the way. They also come across as confident, charismatic, and charming. They often become successful– they don’t care who they hurt to get where they want to be. These people tend to get into powerful positions – leadership positions. As an alienating parent, they want all the control. They want to eliminate the competition. They don’t care for anyone but themselves.

The noble narcissists do some good in the world and they want to be praised for it – they’ll put their name on a building, start a charity, donate funds. On the other end of the scale is the malignant narcissist – almost like a psychopath (coercive, manipulative, exploitative, even dangerous). It’s unfortunate when these people become our bosses or our partners in life. The covert/vulnerable narcissist plays the contemptuous victim role – someone (the target parent) hurt them, it’s never their fault, they are angry for their predicament because they’re better than others. The classical narcissist is the grandiose, show-off type – look at me, look at me! It’s incredibly challenging to live with, separate or divorce from a narcissist because they are out for revenge. Their ego is damaged, and their insecurities triggered. Narcissists break the rules, tear up contracts, and courts don’t pay attention if we say ‘They behaved badly; they’re narcissists’, and it can backfire on us. Narcissism isn’t greatly recognised as abuse in family courts, but they’ll be the uncompromising parent who wants to win at all costs by destroying the other parent and taking custody of the children, with little regard for the pain and suffering this will cause the children.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#narcissisticparent

#FathersMatter

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#alienatedparent

#divorcebattle

#childcustody

Homelessness Past

It’s hard to imagine that anyone ordered this. Or even just bought it and hung it in the bedroom or dining room.

It’s impossible to look at this painting. This is so sad!

In Thomas Kennington’s painting Homeless People (1890), we see a mother leaning over her child. He is exhausted and is in a near-fainting state, either from hunger or illness.

Despite the rainy weather, he is dressed lightly. Apparently, he and his mother lost their home in the summer.

But it’s already autumn. But they still wander and cannot get out of this black pit of poverty.

Most likely, the woman’s husband died. And she and her child were kicked out of their rented accommodation.

And since then they have been living on the streets, eking out small jobs for pennies.

This was a great social tragedy for England in the mid-19th century.

Penny wages did not allow such families to purchase their own housing. And any adversity made women and children very vulnerable.

At that time, there were about 30 thousand homeless children living on the streets in London!

So, the artist decided to use this painting to draw attention to the existing problem.

And this is the painting he created.

The black and gray coloring, of course, echoes the misfortune that is happening.

But at the same time he is… handsome. Due to the illusion of a wet sidewalk. And also thick fog that blurs the background.

Everything is very concise. No vegetation. Only a dry tree, symbolizing the departure from life.

Not only is the landscape beautiful, but also heroes.

The artist himself believed that the painting should not only be truthful (after all, he was painting a real social phenomenon), but also beautiful.

What can we say, we sympathize more with beautiful people. Cinema takes advantage of this, often choosing pretty actors for the main roles.

Please note that the woman is not only beautiful, but also quite well-groomed! She has neat hair and clothes. Personal degradation has not yet touched her, despite the horror happening in her life.

She hasn’t given up yet. After all, unkemptness is the first sign of the beginning of degradation. When a person humbles himself and gives up.

Thus, the artist leaves hope to the viewer. That this is not the end yet. And the mother will still find the strength to help the child.

Yes, this painting was not intended for private buyers. The artist understood perfectly well that hardly anyone would want to hang such a picture in the bedroom or dining room.

But! At that time, museums and galleries quite readily acquired such paintings. Because they attracted more visitors.

This is what the artist was counting on. In a museum, such work will be available to more people. This means that the social problem will be discussed and, possibly, resolved.

At the same time, he made her as attractive as possible to the eye, which invariably attracts glances to her.

And so it happened. The painting was acquired by a public gallery in Melbourne. And to this day it is one of the most popular paintings in this museum.

#Englishpainting #artist #painting #the19thcenturyart #art #ArtliveAndBeauty #paintingoftheday

Heads up sports parents ; coach throws in the towel due to judgement and high pressure and your negatives ( should the shoe fit )

Today it is with a heavy heart that I announce my resignation as the Chatham High School Softball Varsity Head Coach. In my five years I have dealt with more than any human should have to endure. I have been attacked in parking lots by parents, screamed at during practices by parents, bashed on Facebook over and over, had parents banning together to have me fired, had multiple meetings with my AD of parents calling having nothing but negativity to say about me, and much more. And most of this time all these accusations about me, my decisions, and this program are nothing but false from the minds of selfishness who refuse to see the perspective of a coach and a team we are trying to build.

My goal as a coach has always been to teach these girls how precious this game truly is and to show them how much this game can teach you not just on the field, but in handling anything life has to throw them. I have not just been a coach, but I’ve been a mentor, a therapist, a friend, a mom, a shoulder to cry on, and anything that they could possibly need. We have entered a time in this world where accountability does not exist. Parents believe their child deserves anything and everything, and they should not have to work at earning a spot on the field or work towards a bigger goal to be a better player, teammate, and person. The amount of lies and stories being spread has become the main topic of conversation instead of the facts and what is really happening within a team and the culture we are trying to build. We as coaches see so much more than what you do, but I’ve come to realize there’s no changing how you feel, the way you will respond, or the negativity that will always come with the title as being a head coach.

Being a head coach is one of the hardest jobs there is. We take the brunt of any decision that is made and have to listen to the constant lies being spread behind our backs without the right to even defend ourselves for the sake of protecting the integrity of the program we are trying to build. But building a program is hard when players and parents only see themselves instead of the bigger picture of being a good teammate, a team player, and just a fan in the stands cheering on more than just their own kid, while sitting back and letting the coaches COACH. I’ve had many sleepless nights wondering what I can do to be a better coach, a better human, a better person to serve the girls I’ve had the pleasure of coaching. In the end, nothing I do or have done will ever be good enough.

So it has come to a time where I need to take a step back and focus on my family, my mental health, and finding joy in life again and in coaching. My will to coach has been crushed and it is something that has eaten at me every single day for the last five years. I pray these parents will see that I only ever had their children’s best interest in heart. Being tough does not mean I don’t care. It means I see so much greater in them that I was trying to get out. At the end of the day, I am human and I also make mistakes. There are moments I wish I could take back and there are moments where I wish I would’ve done something different, but again I am only human and my intentions were always in the right place even if they didn’t come off as always seeming that way.

I will take this time to focus on what brings me joy and that is my lessons. I cherish the kids who want to be with me and want to spend their weekly hour with me striving to get better at the sport that has brought me so much more than just a little yellow ball. To whoever takes over this program, I pray they are able to reach this group of players and parents more than I was able to. This decision did not come easy and it did not come without a lot of prayer and guidance from my mentors and those who have been with me every step of the way. To the kids and the parents who had my back and understood what I was trying to do, I am sorry, truly from the bottom of my heart. I am never one to give up, but there is time where I have to choose myself and that time is now. Thank you for allowing me to be the head of this program for the last five years and I wish nothing but success for the future of xxxxxxxx High School Softball. I please ask you to respect this decision and refrain from any negative comments or attacks towards me and what I feel is best for myself. I wish you all nothing but the best.