Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Narcissist: Underdeveloped Adults

An extremely important reminder that Narcissists are severley damaged people that want to drive us to the point of insanity by getting into our heads with their actions and words.

From my Book – Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist!

The Narcissist’s actions are meant to leave us in a very confused and vulnerable state, one that makes us challenge our own mind and reality and then pull us further into the abuse. You/we throw reality, our intuition, and everything that we know to be true right out the window. Your persona has been eroded by the many mixed messages and confusion that a Narcissist creates and has created (in the past) with so many other situations just like this. A narcissist sets this in motion with purpose and intent. The confusion keeps you frozen in time, vulnerable and blind to the reality that they are managing you down. This is the method to their madness to keep you/us right there with these distorted messages while they are away securing other supply, betraying you or whatever they have going on. You are left isolated and attacking your own reality through their words and actions. They start the abuse, and you finish it by going through the motions of blaming yourself and trying to make sense out of this darkness they left you in. REMEMBER the Narcissist preceded this horrendous managing down (devaluation) with their ‘love bombing.’ In the beginning we saw it (and still see it) as a viable relationship, but in fact it was part of their agenda to gain our trust first, then objectify us to harvest supply. An object just needs to be what it is and serve a purpose. If it doesn’t function in this capacity it is replaced. We aren’t objects but the Narcissist purposely manages us down to become one!

Once the Narcissist plants the intended chaos in your mind you tender it, fertilize it, and allow it to grow in order to make sense of it all. They purposely want to isolate you with their distortions to disable you. Without resolution or their presence, you are only in a debate with yourself. With their distancing and silence, you end up believing that their lack of contact is proof positive that what they have said is real to them and somehow you ARE the problem, and you must source this out with so many distorted thoughts of your own to bring about some sort of reconciliation. They will go as far as adding more insult to your injury if you should attempt to contact them by flatly refusing to give in. They may embellish the situation even more by posting something on a social site as if they are enjoying a great day or perhaps even being with someone you may not even know. It is not unusual for you to look at their social site page because you are in a relationship with them. But once there you see some of the craziest posts, pictures, likes, etc., that are meant to confound you more and reinforce their crazy making. You are now deeper into this and your goal is to fix it at all costs because now it seems to be threatening the relationship completely. You have been completely managed down and believing that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM even when there is no basis or truth to it! Narcissistic terrorism (psychological and emotional abuse) to control you completely! Greg

Family Court Nightmare for Mom

19 Year-Old Sues Family Court Officials for $250 Million for Taking Her Away from Mom; Giving Custody to Father

Defendants Include Lawyers, Social Workers, Evaluators, GAL’s

“The defendants conspired to deny Annelise access to the courts and intentionally inflicted emotional distress on Annelise while she was still a minor. Defendants knowingly interfered with Annelise’s constitutional right to a relationship with her mother and four siblings, causing inordinate stress and difficulty.”

– Dede Evavold, blogger at Red Herring Alert

Annelise Rice, a hockey player at UND [University of North Dakota] and graduate of Minnetonka High School, filed a lawsuit on March 17, 2017, in Minnesota federal court seeking damages for deprivation of civil rights by tortuous [sic] intervention [interference] in a mother-child relationship and deprivation of rights under color of the law (Civil Action No. 17-cv-796 ADM/HB).

…The defendants include court-appointed Guardians at litem, Social Workers, and lawyers who were involved in the custody evaluation and CHIPS (Child in Need of Protection or Services) proceedings for Annelise Rice.

…Judges, lawyers, and social workers no longer have absolute immunity and can be held responsible for their actions that deprive Constitutional rights, even if they are acting in an official role.

This case is highly unusual due to the large amount of defendants involved.

…Annelise asks the court for relief in an amount great enough to deter defendants and others in similar positions from engaging in this egregious misconduct in the future. There have been many cases of negligence by social services that have put young lives at risk.

Social workers, Guardians at litem, lawyers, and judges need to be held accountable to prevent further neglect, abuse, and deaths of children in protective care. This lawsuit could potentially turn into a class action suit, because of the amount of families that have been mistreated in this way. Contact: Annelise Rice at More.moxie@me.com

EXCERPTS from:

19 YEAR-OLD SUES FOR DEPRIVATION OF CIVIL RIGHTS

https://redherringalert.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/19-year-old-sues-for-deprivation-of-civil-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-863

SUMMARY:

Annelise’s mom, Caroline, went from being a stay-at-home mom to losing custody of her five children. When the father decided he wanted to take the kids away from his ex, family court officials, led by Judge Richard Perkins, kicked into gear and made that happen. Full custody was awarded to the father, even though the children testified to horrible physical abuse by him.

At one point, Annelise ran away from her father and fled to Canada with her mom, however they were caught and Caroline was jailed. Caroline was jailed three times in her many attempts to protect her children, and she was tormented there in an effort to break and silence her.

Judge Perkins presided over the prosecution of Caroline for “abduction”, which was a clear conflict of interest, and at which she, not surprisingly, was convicted. But the appellate court actually overturned her conviction citing Judge Perkins’ biased handling of the case, including exclusion of evidence of the father’s abuse from the jury. So there was some due process for Caroline at the appellate level, which is unusual.

The children have spoken about the pain of losing their mother for many years.

COALITION NOTE: The sheer number of court-affiliated officials whom Annelise is suing spotlights the systemic coordination to empower fathers to take custody of their children—and that is not an exhaustive list. There are likely many more professionals who participated. Most cases in which a mother is trying to keep or protect her children involves many court-affiliated professionals who go along with the agenda and help the father win custody—whether he is abusive or just wants to avoid child support.

It is unclear why Judge Richard Perkins is not included in the lawsuit, since the article asserts that judges can now be held accountable through these civil rights lawsuits, and especially since an appellate court found Judge Perkins to have been biased.

It is also unclear who the judge is on Annelise’s federal civil rights case. The docket states that it is Judge Ann Montgomery, but that it is referred to Judge Hildy Bowbeer. Hopefully, whoever it is will not dismiss the case and will make fair rulings.

Answers to Annelise’s complaint are due in June. Watch this space for updates.

Previous Safe Kids post:

Judge Richard Perkins Held Accountable for Covering Up Abuse!

Some of the story as told by Annelise’s older sister, Lauren

A Mother’s Love: Caroline Marie Halonen-Rice Jailed for Protecting her Children- In Her Daughter’s Own Words- a Plea for Help, for Justice for Love

[Pictured: Annelise and Caroline (top left); Judge Ann Montgomery (left middle); Judge Hildy Bowbeer (left bottom); Annelise (right)]

Shared Persecutory Delusions – Charlie McCready

Alienating parents delude themselves about their superiority and their x’s inferiority. The following quote from Theodore Millon, considered an expert in personality disorder pathology, describes the alienator’s delusions very well. “Deficient in social controls and self-discipline, the tendency … to fantasize and distort may speed up. The air of grandiosity may become more flagrant … As their behaviors and thoughts transgress the line of reality, their alienation will mount, and they may seek to protect their phantom image of superiority more vigorously and vigilantly than ever … No longer in touch with reality, they begin to accuse others and hold them responsible for their own shame and failures. They may build a “logic” based on irrelevant and entirely circumstantial evidence and ultimately construct a delusion system to protect themselves from unbearable reality.”

Unbearable reality – that’s so key. Unfortunately, they share their delusions with the child/ren, and they make no apologies for any harm caused as a result of their behaviour. It’s narcissistic and selfish, and their grandiose, alienating behaviour often worsens after a humiliation, sense of failure, or serious setback challenges their (deluded) image of themselves, such as a separation or divorce. They need to reimagine themselves anew, with a narrative that protects their delusions, and the ‘target’ parent is the perfect scapegoat. Things become misconstrued, twisted, and when that doesn’t work, the alienator just makes stuff up that didn’t really happen.

It is child psychological abuse when the alienating parent shares their persecutory delusions, and tells the child/ren ‘a good parent wouldn’t do this/that/whatever’, putting the blame on the other parent and destroying their attachment bonds. While ‘parental alienation’ as a term is deemed controversial, Child Psychological Abuse (DSM-5 V995.51) is an accepted pathology. A shared persecutory delusion is abusive. The child should be removed from the abusive/alienating parent and given time with the healthy-minded target parent. Obviously, checks must be made to ensure the target parent isn’t (also) abusive, or using false allegations of ‘parental alienation’.

Psychoeducational guidance, such as I provide in daily social media posts (and to the parents I work with/coach), hoping to support people going through this – as I did myself – can help you to try and understand and validate this confounding, extraordinarily challenging experience. It’s important to be the parent your child needs and may return to one day and to be the person you truly are regardless of others’ behaviour. Embrace your strengths, seek support, and strive to do something that lifts your mood and makes you feel happier each day.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#traumabonding

#coercivecontrol

#parentalalienationawareness