Tag: wisdoms

Forgive but don’t forget what they did

My father once said,

“If they hurt you, forgive them, but, don’t ever forget what they have done to you”.

And it has always been a reminder to me everytime I meet someone and know them. But sometimes, it gets tiring. It’s frustrating when you show them kindness but only get pain in return. It’s sad when you admire them for who they are, but they’re busy backstabbing you.

So one time, I asked my father,

“Father, do they deserve my forgiveness?”

He smiled and closed the newspaper he was reading. It has been part of his morning routine– checking the mail box for something to read.

“Child, everyone deserves to be forgiven. If they did it once, they deserve it. If they did it twice, give them another chance. But, if they did it thrice, then that forgiveness and chance shall be given to yourself”.

I had a huge invisible question mark on my face and my eyes screamed confusion. My father noticed it and laughed at me. He then gave me a candy and clasped both of my hands.

“Forgive yourself for believing in them only to get disappointed. Forgive yourself for trusting too much. Forgive yourself for risking another chance for you thought it’s for the better. And honey, give yourself a chance to be free. Free from hatred and revenge, and, freedom from your past”.

The next morning, I saw him in front of my mother, crying. He was betrayed by his friend of ten years. And when I asked him if he now hates his buddy, he only smiled and shook his head.

“My heart don’t have a space for hatred. I don’t deserve to suffer from it. I have forgiven him, but, it doesn’t mean I have forgotten what he did. So the next time he will see me smiling despite of what had happened, he will know by then who suffered more between us two”.

Wiping his tears with his favorite handkerchief, which I gave to him as a birthday present, he added,

“You know what’s the best thing to give to someone who hurt you? It’s for them to see you living a better life after what they did to you. Honey, we only live once, so you don’t need to waste time for people who once left a scar in your heart. Let them see what they have lost. Let them know how they helped you in a good way”

And there I realized, if it wasn’t for his words, I guess until now, I am still haunted by things that weren’t my fault at all.

✍️Unknown

Let us

“So let us pick up the stones over which we stumble, friends, and build altars.

Let us listen to the sound of breath in our bodies.

Let us listen to the sounds of our own voices, of our own names, of our own fears.

Let’s claw ourselves out from the graves we’ve dug.

Let’s lick the earth from our fingers.

Let us look up and out and around.

The world is big and wide and wild and wonderful and wicked, and our lives are murky, magnificent, malleable, and full of meaning”.

~Pádraig Ó Tuama~

Photo: ShapingSpirit

Archaeology for the Woman’s Soul

Relationship Red Flags

This is one of the biggest red flags to watch out for in a relationship!

It’s when an emotional abuser won’t take accountability in a relationship.

It’s when an emotional abuser uses blame-shifting to escape taking accountability for how they’ve made you feel.

They’ll treat you disrespectfully, they’ll neglect your needs, and they’ll subtly manipulate you through their words.

But then, they’ll focus only on your reaction when you want to discuss it with them.

They’ll blame you for feeling the way you feel.

They’ll tell you it’s somehow all your fault.

They’ll call you unwell.

They’ll tell you that you need help.

When in reality it was them and their behaviours all along that caused how you felt and that caused your reaction.

Feeling hurt, angry, upset, or betrayed are normal reactions to being treated with constant disrespect or neglect over a long period of time from a cruel and toxic person.

What isn’t normal, is the fact that this toxic person is blame-shifting instead of apologising, showing remorse, and actually taking accountability for what they’ve done and how they’ve made you feel.

There is nothing wrong with you!

Rather there is everything wrong about the way that they’ve chosen to be, and about their lack of empathy and compassion for how they’ve made you feel.

This is without question one of the biggest red flags the gives away a toxic person.

Don’t ignore it, because they know exactly what they’re doing when they do it.

Know your worth, and don’t settle for someone who’s less than you deserve…

~ Mark Smith

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Disclaimer : I hereby declare that I do not own the rights to this post.

All rights belong to the owner.

©️ No Copyright Infringement Intended.

Visitors

Patience visited me

And it reminded me

That good things take time to come to fruition

And grow slowly with stability

Peace visited me

And it reminded me

That I may remain calm through the storms of life

Regardless of the chaos surrounding me

Hope visited me

And it reminded me

That better times lay ahead

And it would always be there to guide and uplift me

Humility visited me

And it reminded me

That I may achieve it

Not by trying to shrink myself and make myself less

But by focusing on serving the world and uplifting those around me

Kindness visited me

And it reminded me

To be more gentle, forgiving and compassionate toward myself

And those surrounding me

Confidence visited me

And it reminded me

To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents

In order to make others feel more comfortable

But to embrace what makes me me

Focus visited me

And it reminded me

That other people’s insecurities and judgements about me

Are not my problem

And I should redirect my attention

From others back to me

Freedom visited me

And it reminded me

That no one has control over my mindset, thoughts and wellbeing

But me

And love visited me

And it reminded me

That I need not search for it in others

As it lies within me.

-unknown

Artist unknown

Loneliness

George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly *see* you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved *for* being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.

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What would it mean to you to feel truly known and understood by someone?

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For the Ancestors

I call on my ancestors and say thank you for all you endured

so that I could be here.

I appreciate you.

I break the chains you carried through

the generations.

It stops right here, with me.

I know some of you don’t understand, some envy, some anger,

but it is my time now.

I release the bonds, chains, trauma, patterns and

anything that is holding me back

anything that held you back

so that we can blossom.

I know some of you celebrate with me, clap my successes, weep

when I fall down…

It is because of you I get back up again

It is because of you,

I push through

We evolve and grow – each generation because of the works of the hands of the last generations.

To my great, great, great, great, greats.

I honour you. Each one of you,

those that I knew

and those of you that I will never know,

To all of you.

I know you

in my heart

And you know me

And together,

unity.

– by Abby Wynne

(Artist Magdelena Magdalena Nel Bliss)

Love came first

LOVE CAME FIRST

You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now.

Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort.

She is not the monster you first thought her to be.

She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully, if you let her.

And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember.

Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first …

Donna Ashworth ❤️

Artist Credit : Miles Johnston

I need a boat

I needed a boat

to keep me afloat

When the waves of grief threatened to upend me and send me spiralling downwards

into the darkness below the surface.

So I built one,

with all the beautiful thoughts and

memories of you.

With all of your unique and funny ways.

With all you stood for and stood up for,

in your short life on earth.

And after a while,

I realised you were building it alongside me,

with all your devotion, strength and dedication…

with all your love for me.

I cherish the boat we built together.

It keeps me afloat

when the waves of grief come rolling in.

~ Dances with Dan: Embracing Grief

~ Art by Akira Kusaka

Those who try to

This is for everyone who tries.

Who tries to learn, tries to grow, tries to respond kindly and wisely, tries to recognize their own issues instead of blaming everyone else.

This is for everyone who tries to be their best even when they’re not feeling their best.

I see you. I appreciate you.

And I hope you know you make the world a better place, just by being you ..

Lori Deschene 🍂

Artist Credit : Xuanwei Su