Well, alrighty then ….
Prescribed Xanax for IBS
IBS results from lack of gut microbial, distinctly a side effect of Narcissistic Abuse , malignant
and high conflict .
Psychiatric RX destroy the gut ..
My nervous system was adversely affected, and repeadly as a child .
“A Part of Me Died”
It didn’t kill me, but something changed,
A piece of me lost, forever estranged.
I walked away, yet not the same,
A shadowed soul, a quiet flame.
That day took part of who I was,
Left me searching, without cause.
I carry on, but feel the void,
A heart once whole, now destroyed.
It didn’t end me, but I’m not whole—
An echo remains, deep in my soul.
I’m here, I breathe, but truth denied—
A part of me, that day, quietly died.
Art – Deep at the End by Jennifer Jenesko
A Heavy Heart
You think she’s angry, but you don’t see,
The weight she carries silently.
It’s not the rage that fills her eyes,
But tiredness in a thin disguise.
She’s not furious, but worn and torn,
From dreams abandoned, hopes forlorn.
She’s tired, she’s weary, she’s feeling lost,
Paying life’s relentless cost.
She’s sinking deep in a sea of doubt,
Crying softly, without a shout.
Frustration builds, but not from hate
It’s the closed doors, the heavy weight.
She promised much, her dreams were bright,
But now she battles every night.
She wants to give, to rise, to shine,
But life’s harsh currents pull the line.
So when you see her weary stare,
Know it’s not anger, but despair.
She’s fighting hard to find her way,
Hoping tomorrow’s a kinder day.🥀🌷
Christina Stewart
“Survivors do not mourn together. They each mourn alone, even when in the same place. Grief is the most solitary of all feelings. Grief isolates, and every ritual, every gesture, every embrace, is a hopeless effort to break through that isolation.None of it works. The forms crumble and dissolve. To face death is to stand alone.”
― Steven Erikson
George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.
It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.
This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly *see* you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.
In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.
What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved *for* being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.
Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.
Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.
So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.
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What would it mean to you to feel truly known and understood by someone?
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GreatCosmicMothersUnite 