“I am convinced that most people do not grow up… We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”
Maya Angelou – Letter to My Daughter, 2012.
She stilled her beautiful life , and having there , once in such pain after being raped , my 1st experience … 6 Darvon , my Mom came in from work, early am, discovered what I’d done , and felt I’d be ok. Walking away , she said ” Donna , NO man is worth that …and there’s always another man.
The ONLY time , I attempted to take my life .
A medically induced,
attempted suicide by prescribed drugs…
I have been low, so extremely low , again when drugged , and there was no life line to get out of the darkness.it indeed was Hell on Earth , which prepared me to survive the abuses that intensified within my COVID eviction, and acknowledging the past would nip at my heels , draining me ,mu til I grey rocked it.
Done and Done
To my delight this song found me tonight and I giggled as it started to play.
I smoked a good bit of pot at age 19, and as in most of my formative years…behind schedule . So it was 1971 , it was extremely affordable to buy , however my wages were very low , since I decided not to use my certification in Cosmetology, until it helped in selling cosmetics.
The older ladies were sweet , had the more famous thus more profitable lines , and that was ok.. I wasn’t focused on riches , just in having enough .
I enjoyed doing inventory and stock work.
I don’t think I envisioned the legalization of pot , as it was common to find me deeply in the country at friends and a ” family ” type part would be overnight…
It is a good thing to witness this birth of New Earth , I finally can breath and smile at my knowing in the early 80s , I wanted to be closer to God on this mountain.. I kept the faith and my focus and I am rewarded with the life I dreamed of in my late 30s , when I considered life, after our sons had moved out .
I never got to that place with our children.
Lots of hellish years of darkness .
And now I’m here ….in the country , soon to have that yard and freedom, liberated from the obstacles that are boomerangs to those who participated in my journey negatively .
No fear …..
trusting my visions, my truth and I have survived these 13 years . I lurch just now , and soon I will have news on my own home, through the love, support of the most loving friend..and there be ample places to walk..
It will be a return , triumphant… it is a sign and my peace is so assured , I nodded out after spaghetti dinner, lol. It is time to rest and just be .
Divine timing is working in your life. You don’t have to be religious to embrace divine timing and use it to your advantage.
— Read on drdivanyoung.com/divine-timing-power/
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my 3 children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an Angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation — nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” Asked my wife when I got home.
“Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place where mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless I paid for two plates — one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.”
“I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I love you,” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”
“If we surrendered
to earth’s intelligence
we could rise up rooted,
like trees.”
– Rainer Maria Rilke
Archaeology for the Woman’s Soul
“I no longer have patience for certain things,
not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply
because I reached a point in my life where I do
not want to waste more time with what
displeases me or hurts me.
I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism
and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please
those who do not like me, to love those who do
not love me and to smile at those who do not
want to smile at me.
I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie
or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist
anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.
I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic
arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.
I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world
of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid
and inflexible personalities.
In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal.
I do not get along with those who do not know how
to give a compliment or a word of encouragement.
Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty
accepting those who do not like animals. And on
top of everything I have no patience for anyone
who does not deserve my patience.”
Words Meryl Streep lives by – by José Micard Teixeira
When reading was no longer possible, I bought Marianne Williamson’s books on tape , and she was my spiritual guru at a very critical time in my life.
I began with this book, A Return to Love .. all her tapes, CDs etc begin with a mediation , and I believe she gave me hope and the ability to survive what was my life at that time
“Don’t make yourself small.
Not for anyone.
If someone tells you
you’re too much…
too loud, too sensitive,
too fierce, too caring,
too intellectual, too optimistic,
too realistic, too logical, too emotional…
just smile and move on, my friend.
Clearly, they aren’t enough for you.”
L.R. Knost
Laura Daub
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 