Albert Einstein said, “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” Fairy tales stimulate their imaginations and encourage critical thinking, not to mention presenting them with moral dilemmas, allowing kids to think about right and wrong, thereby learning valuable life lessons!
#fairytale #fairytalevibes #tangled #rapunzel #illustration #maryengelbreitstudios #artists
The realisation that a parent has deceived them is horrifying. It’s no easy feat to come to terms with the lies fed to them to create a distorted picture of one of their parents – and often that entire side of the family too. They may remember how they felt at first when the alienating behaviours started, the times they felt conflicted and torn between their love for both parents and the requirement, encouragement and reasons given by one not to love the other, and their desire to please the parent who seemed so rightfully angry.
At first, there’s a profound sense of disbelief and shock that a parent they trusted manipulated them into believing a web of lies that poisoned their perception of a parent they had loved and wouldn’t have chosen to reject without their encouragement, coercion and false narratives. Anger quickly follows. It’s a betrayal that cuts deep as they grapple with the enormity of the lies. It hurts as they try to find a way to understand the fact their love and loyalty were exploited for selfish motives.
There’s grief too. A mourning for the time lost, and the version of their life that could have been, the innocence lost too. It’s a terrible realisation that their childhood was not what it should have been as they discover the extent of the deception. They may struggle to reconcile the person they are today with the person they could have been if they’d been allowed to make their own judgments and decisions.
Shame and self-blame can follow because they wonder how they were so easily misled. How can they ever trust their judgement again? Why didn’t they see the truth sooner? It’s a heavy burden to bear, feeling as though they played a role in their manipulation and the grief and anger they feel now that their rejected parent was put through because of the alienating behaviours of their trusted parent.
Ultimately, there’s a yearning for clarity and truth, even as the reality is painful to accept. Although the journey towards understanding and acceptance is fraught with complex emotions, it can also be liberating, as they break free of coercive control and deception. They can reconstruct their identity and life as they unpick the lies.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#narcissisticabuseawareness
#CoerciveControl
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, there will always be another secret life going on behind your back.
This is because these people are very empty, and they need stimulation from multiple sources just to face existence. They’ll be doing drugs or pornography. They’ll be stringing multiple partners through flirting and emotional affairs. They will be chasing financial intrigue that occasionally gets them into scams and trouble.
The reason they must flirt with other people is also because they’re seeking to move on to other people who don’t know the games they play.
They know they’ll get bored with you eventually, or you’ll learn to resist their shenanigans. And since being alone would kill them, they begin to groom possible replacements among anyone whom they can charm.
You’ll also notice this habit of making promises to you and then using those promises as a dangling carrot to get compliance from you. If you don’t do what they want, they’ll withdraw the promise.
Sometimes, they’ll deny having promised at all, or they postpone it until you give up. The truth is that they never intended to fulfill it in the first place.
Narcissists have lost all sense of right and wrong. Everything is about satisfying themselves.
When you finally leave, they’ll circle back to you, pretending to be checking on you when actually they’re checking if they still have access.
If you have a child with them, they would weaponise that child to torture you until you cut them off totally or you manage to enforce boundaries with the help of the law.
But the child will be scarred or wasted by the counter parenting and objectification from the narcissist.
Society knows very little about narcissists.
Sometimes, you stay because you fear the pain of letting go until you realize the pain you’re already taking for holding on.
Other times, you think you’re staying for the children until you realize that the narcissist is turning all of them into other small narcissists and broken empaths.
Your solution is to recognize that this person is incapable of peace. They’re only excellent at pretending and confusing you.
You will never have a life until you detach from them and direct your life towards wholeness and emotional stability.
Credit to original poster.
Perhaps it’s due to several decades of overt targeting, prior to several decades of being up close and personal to the dream and the nightmare .
I know I’ll never be the same ; our sons won’t ever be who we were and it’s past time to recreate my space and step out of the long shadow of high conflict , malignant , manipulation , intimate partner violence that produces Child Psychological Abuse that’s largely abused or ignored legally .
“The loneliest moment in someone’s life
is when they are watching their
whole world fall apart,
and all they can do is stare blankly.
It’s not the shattering itself that breaks you
it’s the silence that follows,
the quiet space where you realize
there’s nothing left to salvage.
And in that moment,
you know that you’ll never be the same again.
You’ll build something new,
perhaps,
but it will never be what you lost.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Going to leave this broke down palace,
On my hands and my knees G⚡️D
People who alienate their child from a loving parent often exhibit identifiable personality disorders, such as borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. While labelling these individuals as having personality disorders may seem like an attack, it is essential to recognise that they need help rather than pity. Behind their harmful behaviours, such as emotional abuse and coercive control, is an inner core of fear, inadequacy, vulnerability, and worthlessness that drives their actions. Understanding the mental health issues and personality disorders behind parental alienation can guide interventions and support systems to address these issues effectively.
Statistics on the prevalence of personality disorders among alienating parents can be challenging to obtain, as diagnosing personality disorders often requires in-depth psychological assessments and evaluations. Studies and expert observations indicate a higher prevalence of individuals with borderline and narcissistic personality traits among alienating parents.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterised by difficulties managing emotions, unstable relationships, impulsive behaviour, and a fear of abandonment. These traits can manifest in intense and unstable relationships, including the parent-child relationship, contributing to alienation.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration and validation. Alienating parents with NPD may manipulate and control their children to maintain a sense of power and control over them, leading to the alienation of the other parent While it is essential to recognise the internal struggles of people with personality disorders, addressing the root causes of their behaviour and the impact it has on the targeted parent and child is equally crucial. Unfortunately, many alienating parents blame the targeted parent, make false allegations, and subject them to psychological abuse, which can be emotionally devastating. Alienating parents typically struggle with self-reflection and are often resistant to seeking help to address their behaviour. As a result, the cycle of harmful and abusive actions towards the targeted parent and the child continues.
Convincing them to seek help can be challenging even though if they could break free from harmful patterns, it would create healthier environments for their children. Simultaneously, interventions should prioritise the well-being of the child and the targeted parent, recognising the pain and distress they experience due to the alienation. Acknowledging the complexities of parental alienation, particularly when personality disorders are involved, is crucial in developing more effective strategies to address this damaging phenomenon and promote healthier family dynamics.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#narcissisticabuseawareness
#mentalhealth
#healing
#parentalalienation
When a child backtalks, sometimes also referred to as mouthing-off or sassing, they are in the throes of a huge, internal maelstrom of emotion. Whatever they are reacting to in the moment, whether it’s being told ‘no’ about something or being asked to do or not do something, it is rarely those issues that are at the root of the problem. The moment at hand is just the tipping point causing a fissure in the child’s heart that lets out a bit of the steam inside. The real concern should be that there is, metaphorically, steam in the child’s heart to begin with.
It is at this point that parents have the opportunity to model self-control and self-regulation by controlling their own knee-jerk reaction to their child’s backtalk. Instead of meeting fire with fire, childish outburst with childish parental outburst, child’s tantrum with adult tantrum, parents can slow down, breathe through their own emotions, and then listen through the fiery storm of their child’s words to the hurt, fear, and anger behind the words.
In the same way that “a gentle answer turns away wrath,” a soft-voiced, “Let’s take a minute and calm down so we can work through this together, okay?” from a parent is a magical, healing balm that immediately begins to diffuse tough situations and creates an atmosphere in which connection and communication can bring effective, peaceful solutions not only to the issue at hand, but to the inner turmoil that prompted the outburst in the first place.
Meeting a child at their point of need when that need is expressed through meltdowns, yelling, disrespect, or defiance takes patience, self-control, and empathy on the part of a parent, which can be a huge growth experience for the parent if they, themselves, were not parented that way. But the impact of living those positive life skills in front of our children is immeasurable.
-L.R.Knost
Read more: http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/07/08/backtalk-is-communicationlisten/
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📚Peaceful Parenting Resources: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z 📚
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Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I’m still here!💞 L.R.
I definitely believe this and the anger and neglect present during our first pregnancy did adversely affect me , thus our baby .
I pray there is a healing for our child(ren) for each were subjected to at the least was a disinterested Dad .
Alot of people dont know this, but the baby feels everything the mother feels.
Every heart break, every smile, every single emotional thing. Even touch! When hugging the father and just taking that time to breath the baby can feel that love. That feeling of warmth and security. At 22 weeks the baby has started to learn voices and can tell which voice is peaceful to its mother and which voice hurts the mother. They have become aware of most sounds around them. By 26 weeks the baby can develop emotions for him or herself on feelings the mother feels. By 30 weeks the baby has picked who’s voice it is most favored towards. Needless to say, dont stress yourself. Cause your baby feels it all. ❤️💕
Illustration by Brooklyn Walker Art
The emotional strain and confusion resulting from parental conflict can be overwhelming. The child may feel powerless, torn between loyalty to both parents or fearful of displeasing the ‘favoured’ alienating parent. Fear of displeasing the alienating parent, coupled with emotional manipulation and coercion, may prompt the child to distance themselves emotionally from the targeted parent, resorting to disassociation as a protective measure or psychologically ‘split’. This is because the child’s mind instinctively resorts to disassociation to protect itself from intense emotional distress.
Disassociation offers the child a psychological escape from the distress caused by parental alienation. By emotionally detaching from the alienated parent, the child shields themselves from the pain and confusion of their situation, essentially numbing themselves to cope with the overwhelming emotional turmoil.
However, despite the challenges posed by this emotional cut-off/disassociation, there is hope for children affected by parental alienation. Children can overcome this defence mechanism and reconnect with the alienated parent. Even from afar, the alienated parent can be a beacon of stability and love, providing a role model for their child. With time, understanding, and intervention, reconnection is possible, offering healing and restoration to families affected by parental alienation.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#narcissisticabuseawareness
#coercivecontrol
#parentalalienation
“Have you ever wondered why children are no longer taught to write in cursive?”
And no, it is not by chance that they tend to use it less and less.
Writing in cursive means translating thoughts into words; it forces you to not take your hand off the paper.
A stimulating effort, which allows you to associate ideas, link them and put them in relation.
Not by chance does the word cursive come from the Latin “currere”, which runs, which flows, because thought is winged, it runs, it flies.
Of course, cursive has no place in today’s world, a world that does everything possible to slow down the development of thought, to fill it.
I think cursive was born in Italy and then spread throughout the world.
Why?
Because it was compact, elegant, clear writing.
But ours is a society that no longer has time for elegance, for beauty, for complexity; we have synthetics but not clarity, speed but not efficiency, information but not knowledge!
In general, we know too much and too little because we are no longer (generally speaking) able to put things into relation.
Most people can no longer think.
This is why we should go back to writing in cursive, especially at school. Because this is not just about recovering a writing style, but about giving breath to our thoughts again.
Everything that makes us live, that feeds the soul, that sustains the spirit, is connected to breathing.
Without breath, as the ancient Greeks said, there is no thought. And without thoughts there is no life.
Vivian Parra.-
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 