Loneliness

George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly *see* you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved *for* being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.

What would it mean to you to feel truly known and understood by someone?

Nameless Dead Ascend/ Mad in America

Poem of the Week: “When the Lunatics Arise” by Bonnie Schell

Excerpt:

The nameless dead ascend, limp forward then soar, breaking through the thin clouds.

They rise, shouting their full names into the skies.

And drift from numbered body to body whispering, “It is safe. It is safe.”

Shackled, sterilized, lobotomized, now upright the strangers stand, meet and greet their peers

From across the land – 300,000 acres – of public asylums and state hospitals.

From deep valleys they arise, levitating above the priests with their liturgies of exorcism,

And the doctors with their Diagnostic and Statistical Manuals.

They run up the hills and are not weary. They fly and do not tire or fall.

Look up! Open your SUV and condo windows. Crook your neck and see!

All the shunned ones, missing from scrapbooks, removed from Ancestry trees,

All the ones who swallowed secrets, stuttered, became silent

All the ones never invited to the weddings, graduations, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, and death beds, Deprived of connection, now say “Hello you.”

Read the full poem here: https://www.madinamerica.com/2024/10/when-lunatics-arise-bonnie-schell/

Your dreams Your Nightmare – Marriage/Healing – Gabor Mate’

I’ve commented on this ; the harsh reality of neglect and with holding of love via Mom

Seeking our parent’s disfunction

Looking for love we did not receive in childhood .

www.facebook.com/share/r/5xgQVM4s8neXnUeZ/

Scold’s Bridle

The Scold’s Bridle was a device used to publicly humiliate and silence women. It featured a metal plate that fit inside the mouth, pressing down on the tongue to prevent speech. This contraption was typically placed on women considered troublesome, effectively forcing them into silence and preventing gossip.

Know ur History.. #woman #wtf

Unwanted things

I think there is something about people who were abused/neglected as kids that makes us embrace things that others consider monstrous. i dont think its a coincidence most of us like “creepy” animals like rats and crows. i dont think its a coincidence that we are the first to jump to the defense of “worthless” plants like dandelions. its why we get so attached to old toys and broken things. when you spend your whole life believing you’re not wanted, it turns you into a defender of the other unwanted things in the world. and you’re not just protecting them – you’re protecting the part of yourself that still believes you deserve to exist. just like they do. just like we all do.