If you do anything to demonstrate a willful desire to be independent and separate from toxic family members, you will be threatened financially, threatened with emotional abandonment, and saturated with accusations coming your way about what a horrible person you are.
This type of coercive treatment from your family will leave you feeling shocked and disgusted at how low your family members will go to keep you dependent upon them.
When you stand against their manipulation and all those who remain complicit to your abuse, you will undoubtedly go through of time of great loss and confusion. You will also feel a certain sense of liberation. Over time and with much healing, you will see that there was no real loss when you have regained the full rights to your life. The time of pain and confusion is what leads you to this wisdom.
This is terrifyingly accurate!! My question is, How about the court system? Had the violating parent then been held accountable, would it have stopped there? How about awareness?? I have to wonder if I had known about parental alienation, the signs symptoms and honestly that it was even a thing…. I probably would have been able to make more sense of what was happening. How 4 children can adore you one day, then the next want nothing to with you for no real reason. It made no sense. If there was awareness, if I knew a fraction of the knowledge I have today… I would not have reacted the way I did. And hurt my children further!
As important as it is to learn about the toxic people in your life and how to remove them, it also important to remember in learning about them you are also learning an incredible amount about who you are. You learn exactly where your weaknesses are and to whom you are most vulnerable. You learn who you can trust with your heart and your secrets and you learn who will use these same things against you.
It is important to focus on what you learn about toxic people and apply it to how you need to change the way you show up in relationships. Learning about them helps you become clearer on what you are no longer willing to tolerate and where your boundaries need to be. They are not going to change, so don’t learn about toxic people with the intent of trying to get them to change.
You have to change. And when you do, you will be braver and more confident when removing them from your life.
At the inevitable collapse of a narcissistic relationship and even before it is in the devalue stage, the narcissist will blame you for all of the problems and their unhealed wounds that they will never take responsibility for.
When you are discarded at the end of the relationship, you’ll be demonized and smeared to all and sundry. This is how a False Self operates.
At the beginning of the relationship, you are childishly pumped up. You’re the greatest thing since poached eggs, paraded all over social media and gushed out to family and friends, and probably introduced way too quickly to all of the narcissist’s circles, probably as well as the kids. You’re likely being thrust in the face of the previously discarded supply that the narcissist is finished with too.
Then as time goes on, of course, you start being devalued and then eventually discarded. You’re going to be put on the rubbish heap with all the other sucked out Souls that the narcissist False Self has thrown into the gutter.
As far as the False Self is concerned, if you’re not great, you’re terrible. There is no in-between. There is no Real Self operating within the narcissist. Therefore there’s no self-awareness, no self-responsibility, and consequently, it’s all your fault.
If you have any guilty feelings, please read this article to help you:
And to help you get started on a guilt-free life, please come into my free webinar where I explain to you more about this – https://bit.ly/3n4F5gD. I take you through a Quanta Freedom Healing where you can immediately release your guilt.
Many narcissists start setting up “their new life” long before divorce proceedings. You are likely a good-natured, trusting person who wouldn’t consider doing the wrong thing.
Yet the narcissist has no problem, for months or even years: – ❌ siphoning money out of the marriage to put in other bank accounts, ❌ transferring things into other people’s names, ❌ start hiding income, ❌ enlisting minions against you, and all sorts of other assorted sordid tricks that will blow your mind.
What may also horrify you is that they already have a new love partner ready for them to move in with. How you can be dismissed, replaced and brutalised, when divorcing a narcissist will leave you reeling. This is totally normal and to be expected.
The truth sets us free, and it saves our lives emotionally and even literally. I’m not telling you this stuff to scare you; I’m telling it to warn you and to be prepared. Because rule number 1 is: STOP expecting this person to be honest, fair, sentimental, or do the right thing.
When divorcing a narcissist, some people are past the heartbreak and trauma of losing the person they believed was their soul mate. That wasn’t me, and maybe that’s not you.
If we are still emotionally connected, we are in for a very hard time. We will cling to sentimentality and be triggered into intense devastation when the narcissist acts without a shred of love or kindness. We may still hope for reconciliation and maybe impervious to being manipulated into deals in the narcissist’s favour.
Even for those who are long past the feelings of longing and love, the shock is still intense that a person we once shared our life with has the capacity for deception, maliciousness and total indifference to our needs, feelings or ability to generate our future life.
Divorcing a narcissist? Check out these resources to help you –
⚖️ 6 Things To Look Out For During Court Battles With A Narcissist -https://bit.ly/3ibdl8p ⚖️ Watch This Before Fighting A Narcissist In Court – https://bit.ly/3iaG6lC
And use the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (https://bit.ly/34E75xQ) to give you the emotional support to get you through this.
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