Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Divorcing a Narcissist

Ex and 2 lawyers created our divorce ; I’d have like to have been awake and aware . No idea what I charged him with , abuse, abandonment, neglect etc ? But these 3 men changed it to ” no fault ” and I was responsible for my health care and legal fees .

The manipulation of my income including the cost of preparing our home for market ( after several years of our youngest living there in order to graduate high school ) the division of the 401k and division of home furnishings (he made those decisions , which meant I got what he didn’t want ) as I faltered in 2004 finding my cobra serve was ending and having just bought a house that needed more improvement than I could afford .

Of course I was mad to begin waking up to discover how he had played the victim instead of the truth that he lives a very miserable and distorted life and I nor anyone else is responsible for his happiness or growth .

The worst crime and abuse was committed in regards to our sons and then grandchildren.

Payback or Karma is clearing this decades old injustice .

Truth & Light restores the balance seized by a tormented soul I released long ago and upon completing old business it’s truly over . Equality and restoration of my name and character which he tried to destroy

It is mental, physical , financial and spiritual abuse which he prefers to continue to infinity.

It’s over

Forgiving – PAS/Child Psychology Abuse

Forgiveness involves learning to let go, and that is of great benefit to you. Forgiveness helps you to focus on your happiness and the good things in life. It is a decision you can make – replacing ill will with good-will. While you may have envisaged revenge or ‘an eye for an eye’ (which leaves everyone blind as the saying goes), you can make a choice to find peace of mind instead. This is decisional forgiveness. On an even deeper level, and harder to achieve, there’s emotional forgiveness. That’s when you’ve completely moved away from thinking about the person/people who have done you wrong. You no longer hold any negative feelings or dwell on the offence, hurt and harm inflicted. Reaching this stage takes time, but it is immensely beneficial to your health and well-being. It reduces the self-pity and ‘victimhood’ mentality, and eventually, this can disappear completely. It liberates you from being triggered or stuck in a cycle of grief and anger. How to achieve this? Try visualising that person (this might not be pleasant or easy at first) and understand why they did what they did. Time and distance make it a little easier to be objective. Feel the feelings that come up. Don’t suppress them. Why did they do this thing? Would they have done this to anyone they were with (it’s not about you)? So this is their problem, and they will continue having this problem long after you’ve moved on and let it go. Can you see the place of fear they’re coming from? Remember, somebody else’s decision to hurt you was not your fault. Have you ever behaved poorly and upset/offended/wilfully or inadvertently harmed someone else yourself? Have you forgiven yourself? Were you forgiven? It could be you behaved poorly when you didn’t know better at the time. You may have behaved the way you did, said, felt and done what you did back then because you had given away your power, and you were just trying to survive and cope the best you could. You didn’t know how much harm or hurt it would cause. Forgive yourself. Forgive others who have done the same thing. Stick with this, it’s not easy. It’s not to forget. We might never truly understand why why they did what they did. We can’t erase what’s happened, or minimise it. Nor do we want these people back in our lives. We don’t forgive to help the other person who hurt us, but we do it to heal our own wounds. Forgiveness is really for us. What we can do is reframe our thinking about the harm caused, and our reaction to it going forwards. The other person doesn’t have to be present. Think it, feel it, or write it down, and let it go. Burn the paper and see it go up in smoke. Imagine it’s gone from your life. Now here comes the really tough bit. Send love to your persecutor. There’s logic to this. Imagine how good things would be if they felt love not fear, and were not constantly at war with life and with you. Imagine how much easier life would be for your child if the alienating parent knew how to love – themselves and others. How much easier would life be. People in pain often cause pain to others. Send them love because if they are healed, the alienating behaviours will dissipate. They’ll no longer feel anger and fear and vengeance, if they’re actually happy and full of love. Imagine that. They may never apologize, or admit to their wrongdoing, they may never be happy and have good relationships, but that is no longer your problem once you let go of the hold they’ve had over you, the grief and anger you’ve been holding onto because of the injustice and harm they caused. Practice forgiveness anyway for your own sake.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

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The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain.

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#alienatedparent

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#coparentingwithanarcissist

#highconflictdivorce

#familylaw

#FamilyCourt

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalguidance

#generationaltrauma

#custody

#custodybattle

#childrenfirst

Good or Healthy Narcissistic?

Anonymous comment: “There is such a thing as healthy narcissism, & actually, there are like 7 or 8 different types/branches of narcissism…so it doesn’t look the same for everyone.

My response: “A lot of the material saying there are so many types of narcissism is nothing more than sensationalized clickbait. There are only three types. Everything else falls under one of those three types.

And the idea of healthy narcissism isn’t a concept that everyone should believe in. It’s a concept, nothing more. And based largely on outdated psychoanalytic theories.”

I’m not saying you should believe everything I say, but after being in the field for over ten years, along with hours upon hours of research and case studies with targets/survivors of this insidious abuse, many of the mainstream ideologies around narcissism are straight up FALSE. Additionally, my staff writer is a licensed therapist, so the ideas I publish on my own site are vetted and accurate, according to the latest research – and I’m not talking about regular Google searches, which return very questionable sources of dubious merit.

I’ve made videos and written articles about these ideas. Here are a few links, if interested:

YouTube:

Articles:

https://bit.ly/ToxicRedFlags
https://bit.ly/NotWhatYouThought

I realize that all the seemingly new concepts that folks are publishing and making videos about seem tantalizing, but this isn’t Hollywood. And while I don’t usually publish the candied yams version of narcissism, I will always try my best to give you the truth.

And remember, while it’s admirable for folks to get a Ph.D., it doesn’t always make them right. Everyone, even the highest-educated folks, is subject to their own biases, misconceptions, and wishful thinking.

Your friend on the journey,

Kim Saeed

Trauma Centric View of Mental Health

Beyond Psychiatry: A Trauma-Centric View of Mental Health

By Terry Baranski

Internal family systems therapy is a non-pathologizing method of working toward healing from trauma. The healing journey is therefore one of returning to wholeness by reconnecting with ourselves.

The beauty of IFS is that it’s fundamentally interwoven with every aspect of trauma: how trauma impacts us so dramatically, why our parts adapt to traumatic events in the ways that they do, and how they can be healed. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach for trauma healing, my hope is that this quick look at IFS provides some context for how mental health can be approached in a very different way than is typical.

www.madinamerica.com/2023/03/beyond-psychiatry-trauma-centric/