Tag: relationships

Mothering a man-child Narcissist

Truths

When you marry a narcissistic man, you never get the chance to be a wife; instead, you take on the role of a mother because these grown adults behave like man-children. They go to work Monday through Friday and then spend their weekends sitting in front of a laptop, downloading music, playing video games, or creating messes for you to clean. You find yourself both single and a parent simultaneously, shouldering the weight of responsibilities without the support of a partner.

Narcissists don’t marry for love or partnership; they marry because they want a maid, cook, secretary, banker, and a babysitter. They crave control, not connection. Their selfish desires consume them, leaving you to manage the household, raise the children, and cater to their every whim. Your dreams of a loving, equal relationship are shattered, replaced by the harsh reality of servitude.

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into years, you become a shadow of your former self. Your identity is erased, replaced by the exhausting duties of managing a narcissist’s life. You’re forced to sacrifice your own desires, interests, and friendships to accommodate their demands. The emotional labor is suffocating, leaving you drained, resentful, and wondering how you ended up in this nightmare.

You’re not alone in this struggle. Many women have fallen prey to the charming facade of a narcissist, only to find themselves trapped in a loveless, thankless role. Remember, you deserve better. You deserve a partner who loves, supports, and respects you. Don’t let the narcissist’s gaslighting convince you otherwise. Break free from this toxic cycle and reclaim your life. You are more than a mother to a man-child; you are a strong, capable, and worthy individual who deserves to be loved and cherished.

#story #SeeMore

Reconciliation- Charlie McCready

It is hard for an alienated child, especially in adolescence, to become independent of the alienating parent and reconcile with us. They have such a burden of guilt, and they also fear rejection and retaliation – they know, just as much as we do, just how badly, frighteningly, and abusively the alienator can behave when upset or triggered. But at some point, when more mature, given some distance from the alienator, and with an innate curiosity about their ‘other’ parent, things can change. Even before, they may find living with the alienator intolerable, and they seek emancipation. Sometimes the child discovers the alienating parent is incapable of the emotional support the child needs. Or they get rejected by the alienator. The alienated child can return more easily when the ‘target’ parent remains welcoming, stable, and happy to receive them, without drama or retribution. This child may or may not be willing to come to terms with their enmeshment in their alienating parent’s pathological behaviours. They may need support with this. And It will help if the ‘target’ parent has done what they could to understand alienation from all perspectives. The child may not want to discuss it, but our understanding helps. We’ve not given up and have done all we can to remain strong, happy, resilient, and absolutely there for our ‘lost’ child whenever they’re ready to return and reconcile. They know we don’t put any guilt or blame on them or expect them to explain themselves, and we don’t tell them the pain it put us through or insist they hear our side of the story. We may even have to let them unburden themselves of all the false narratives they’ve been fed but not react with anger, remembering this was a form of psychological abuse and coercion inflicted on them. They’ll need time to unload and reprogramme. If we’ve done the emotional work and built up our resilience and understanding, we’ll be better equipped to deal with this (it’s not easy, the temptation is strong to put things right and tell our truth). You will see their love for us wasn’t destroyed. It was tampered with and obstructed. And they will see we never stopped loving them either.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#FamilyCourt

#custodybattle

#custody

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

Craig Childress PsyD Thought Disorder / Family Court

The forensic psychologists in the family courts have a thought disorder – a problem in their linear-logical reasoning system.

You will be encountering their thought disorder. You will need to guide your (ignorant) mental health person through the steps of logical reasoning.

Understand this clearly – the patient should NEVER have to explain the pathology to the doctor, the doctor should already know.

You have to explain the pathology to the doctor. These forensic psychologists are the worst imaginable.

And that’s all you currently have. It’s so bad, the mental health system in the family courts is so bad.

We need standards – start with the APA ethics code for competence and the DSM-5 for diagnosis.

Where are the licensing boards? Nowhere to be seen. Why is that? Why aren’t they enforcing ethical standards of practice for psychologists in the family courts?

How did the licensing boards allow things to get so bad to where the patients are explaining the pathology to the doctors?

Emotional Intimacy 🫶🏼

You might want to stop having sex with that man or woman for at least a month.

A woman once opened up to me about her relationship. She had a lot to say, and she complained about how she couldn’t even tell if she was truly in a relationship. She said she didn’t feel any sort of intimacy with the man except when they were having sex. As soon as she mentioned the sex, I decided to probe further. I asked if they had a good sex life, and she answered yes. She added that even when they had serious issues to discuss, somehow the situation would lead to sex, and they would end up ignoring the matter because she would feel like everything was fine again after having sex. However, she admitted that she couldn’t reconcile the man’s behavior outside of sex with how things felt when they were intimate.

It turned out that their best conversations only happened during sex, and that’s the only time they professed love for each other.

There were many ugly instances she shared with me about her relationship, but I won’t spill the details here. After our long conversation, I held her hand and told her that she really wasn’t in a relationship. She interrupted, saying that they had been together for over two years, but she just didn’t know if she was truly in love or if the man truly loved her.

I asked what she wanted me to do for her. She said she wanted me to help her gain clarity on her feelings because every time she tried to talk about it, they would end up fighting, and the fight always led to sex, which made them avoid the conversation.

I then told her that if she truly wanted to know where she stood and understand the state of the relationship, she should stop having sex for a month. Before suggesting this, I had asked how often they had sex, and she said they had sex at least three times a week. Sometimes she would spend the weekend at his place, or if she wasn’t there, he would call her, or she would visit him.

I explained that removing sex from the equation was the only way to gain clarity. She reluctantly agreed to try it. I encouraged her to do so because she could already see that something was missing, even though she couldn’t figure it out. She then asked, “What if he leaves me because he doesn’t joke about sex?” I told her to frame it as a religious fast and not explicitly mention the sex strike. Make it seem temporary, like it was part of her religious obligations.

Without further ado, she decided to embark on the one-month sex strike. She messaged me almost daily, telling me how the man was calling her, how she went to see him and rejected his sexual advances, and how ugly his reaction was. Then, on the 12th day of the sex strike, the man broke up with her and blocked her everywhere. She called me, crying, saying she wanted to break the strike, and I told her that doing so would put her back in bondage. This man had broken up with her, said all manner of hurtful things, and brought up unresolved issues that had been swept under the rug with sex, I comforted her and made her see reason why the breakup is necessary.

Many are in this type of relationship, the problem with many people is that they now use sex as a Band-Aid for deeper issues. It’s true that sex can be used as a way to temporarily “solve” or mask deeper emotional and relational problems. While it may provide a fleeting sense of connection, fact is, it doesn’t address underlying conflicts, communication breakdowns, or emotional distance. Partners may turn to sex to avoid tough conversations, emotional vulnerability, or the painful realization that the relationship is no longer working.

Physical connection may give the impression of a healthy relationship, but it does not necessarily equate to emotional or mental intimacy. Partners may continue engaging in sexual activity even when they no longer feel emotionally connected or supported, creating a dissonance between what they feel physically and what they experience emotionally.

If you relate to this woman, or if you are that man who feels that the only glue holding your relationship together is sex, take action. Be deliberate and withhold sex for a month to see if the relationship can still survive. This is also one reason why many marriages fail so quickly today. Courtships were built on a superficial and shallow sense of connection due to constant sex and when couples get married and sex isn’t as frequent, they grow tired of each other and start seeking their “soulmates” elsewhere.

Many relationships have ended long ago but are still surviving due to sex. In fact, many of you know that your relationship has been over for months or even years, but fear of rejection, starting over, or losing the person makes you continue to patch things up with sex until one day, it will no longer work and by then it might be really messy.

You know I’m talking to you. Close your legs for at least a month, discipline your phallus for at least a month. Stop the free flow between you and that man or woman you no longer feel emotionally connected to but still can’t seem to let go of physically.

Physical intimacy is important, but emotional intimacy is the foundation of a lasting relationship. You don’t want to build your foundation with spit, it will surely collapse.

Written by

Tadé Makinwa