Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Keep standing in your truth – Charlie McCready

This father’s words are a testament to the resilience it takes to endure parental alienation. It can be a long and painful journey, but healing yourself is just as important as holding onto hope for your child. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being doesn’t mean giving up—it means staying strong enough to be there when your child is ready.⁠

Parental alienation can make you feel powerless, but the love between parent and child is not so easily erased. Even when they cannot show it, even when they have been taught to suppress it, that bond still exists.⁠

Keep going. Keep healing. Keep standing in your truth.⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedchild

#alienatedparent

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparent

Harmful Dynamic of Parental Alienation on the child

Children subjected to the harmful dynamic known as parental alienation, exhibit distinct attitudes and behaviours. They become fixated on denigrating one parent, reciting numerous grievances, and treating that parent as if they hold no value. What’s even more concerning is that many deeply alienated children express desires for the parent’s demise or disappearance. Strikingly, they do so without any accompanying guilt or remorse for their hostile behaviour. Children who have experienced physical abuse, typically fear the person abusing them, adopting a compliant demeanour to avoid further harm. They do no such thing with the alienated parent they reject because they say they’re not safe, or unwelcome in their life – with no real justification for these accusations and a previously loving relationship. Often their reasons are trivial or irrational like disliking being asked to help around the house, or not swearing, or any other reasons which do not warrant the rejection and hatred. Again, this contrasts with abused children who can offer justifiable and real evidence for their aversion.

Ordinarily, children, especially in the teenage years, hold a mix of sentiments toward their parents, including both love and loathing. However, children subjected to parental alienation often lack ambivalence. They struggle to articulate anything positive about the alienated parent while protecting the preferred (alienating, abusive) parent with whom they are aligned and being indoctrinated. During parental disputes, these children instinctively side with their preferred parent and accept without question that parent’s allegations against the alienated parent. Their expressions of criticism often mirror the aligned parent’s grievances, even if they don’t fully understand the words and phrases used. This happens despite their insistence that their rejection of the parent is solely their own decision, unaffected by the parent they have been induced to favour.

As the alienation deepens, it extends beyond just the parent. It encompasses other family members and friends on the alienated parent’s side. Even hobbies and interests. Even pets. It is ‘hatred by association’. It is irrational and yet can become powerfully ingrained behaviour. It might be a cherished grandparent who they no longer want to see. It is tragic for all involved. The only person who might be considered a ‘winner’ is the alienating parent. ‘Winner’ is not a word to describe their behaviour. ‘Abuser’ is much more fitting.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationawareness

#childrensrights

Neglect /Narcissistic Abuse – Charlie McCarthy

I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is incredibly challenging, and your grief, rage or sense of injustice about feeling as if you’re unimportant, invisible, ignored, uncared for, and unloved are entirely valid. It’s important to acknowledge that being in the presence of a narcissist or a psychologically abusive person can be deeply damaging, as they often prioritise their own needs and interests above all else.

Your pain is real, and it’s not your fault. Narcissists (alienating parents often fall into this category) thrive on manipulation and control, and they may make it seem as if you’re the one at fault, but please remember that this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s all too common not to recognise the presence of a narcissist until we’ve already been deeply affected. They can be incredibly skilled at hiding their true intentions, and they excel at making us feel like we’re the ones who should be changing to meet their demands.

But here’s the truth: when we subjugate our own needs, wishes, and interests for the sake of a narcissist, we unintentionally empower them even more. It’s like feeding a never-ending appetite; they are insatiable in their need for control and admiration.

Please understand that you are not alone in this struggle. Many have faced similar challenges. It’s not an easy journey, but breaking free from the grip of narcissistic abuse is possible. You deserve love, care, and respect, just as anyone else does. Your spirit may feel crushed now, but with the right support, self-care, and healing, you can begin to mend the wounds inflicted.

Remember that seeking help through therapy or support groups can be a significant step towards understanding and healing from this traumatic experience. You have the strength within you to regain your power, rebuild your life, and emerge from this darkness into a brighter future.

You are important, visible, cared for, and loved, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Your journey to reclaiming your self-worth begins with recognising your value and taking steps towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Keep going. Stay strong, my friend.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#FathersMatter

Not being like the Alienating parent- Charlie McCready

Moving on from the anguish of parental alienation is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a conscious effort and resilience, as grief, injustice and anger can have a powerful hold on us, keeping us tethered to both the past and the present pain. Parental alienation is often described as a living bereavement. It’s ongoing. It’s unfinished business. But however difficult it may be, choosing to move forward is often the best course of action.

Parental alienation is profoundly isolating and traumatic, made worse by the fact that it is widely misunderstood and poorly supported. In some circles, it’s outright denied. The lack of recognition and action raises an obvious question—why is nothing being done? The reality is that the legal system, as it stands, often serves its own interests rather than prioritising the well-being of families. It operates on delay, deflection, and bureaucracy, allowing alienation to take hold while the targeted parent fights a ever steepening uphill battle. Even when alienation is recognised, enforcement is weak or non-existent.

While parental alienation may become a legal battle, at its core, it is an attachment disorder caused by pathogenic parenting—deeply unhealthy, psychologically damaging, and rooted in coercion, manipulation, and control. It is not a normal parent-child dynamic; it is an induced psychological condition that thrives on fear, guilt, and distorted loyalty.

Now, let’s talk about the alienating parent and their pursuit of revenge. This is what drives many of them. Their actions are not grounded in love or concern for the child but in a pathological need to control and punish. They draw others into their conflicts, creating division and chaos. Their wounded ego demands retribution—especially against the “target” parent, who may have exposed the truth about them or triggered their own abandonment issues. But there’s no excuse. They should be working through their issues, not destroying their child in the process. Instead, they refuse accountability. They project, manipulate, and engage in coercive control, turning their own children into unwitting pawns in their vendetta.

This is narcissistic parenting at its most destructive—erasing the child’s ability to form secure, healthy attachments and forcing them into an unnatural psychological alignment with the alienating parent. And yet, what’s striking is how these people remain stuck in a cycle. They don’t change. They don’t grow. They repeat the same toxic patterns.

Who would want to be like the alienating parent with their lives full of manipulation, deceit, and emotional abuse? Their existence is a façade, a charade built on falsehoods, and their actions perpetuate suffering for all around them. We got out of their lives, and we await our children realising why we did this and that maybe they should do the same.

Reach out if I can help you, as I’m helping many others, with the coaching I offer.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#FathersMatter

#emotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery

#parentalalienation

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#parentalalienationawareness

#narcissticparent

#childrensrights

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#custody

#childcustody

#FamilyCourt

#custodybattle

Live no Bereavement – Charlie McCready

For many target parents, the loss of a child feels like a kidnapping or a death that has no closure – a living bereavement. It is agonising. For the alienated child, they are unwitting victims of terrorism. While they can be quite afraid of their captors (the aligned/alienating parent), it is like ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ because they’re also afraid of abandonment by them or not being loved by them, having been induced to believe they are their only hope, their lifeline. They’re led to believe that any relationship or affection towards the ‘enemy’, the target, alienated parent, will only bring them trouble and more suffering. Undoubtedly, this is a psychologically abusive experience for both target parents and alienated children. But we need to find some kind of acceptance. Some way towards peace of mind. Looking back, focusing on the past and the pain is not the way forward. It keeps us stuck. We have to be okay with the present moment. The now. This is the starting point. Right now.

If you face these challenges, know you’re not alone. I have been through the trauma of alienation, and with over 20 years of experience, I am totally invested in helping others. As well as my daily posts, I offer 1:1 coaching, and a 9-step program. I’m glad to say clients who do my program talk of gaining emotional and mental resilience and peace of mind, often within just a few weeks of starting. I help my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome and survive the many challenges. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, or you can visit my website.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#childcustody

#parentalalienation

#fathersrights

Continued Domestic Abuse via PA

Parental alienation is a deeply harmful form of psychological abuse and coercive control, making it a clear instance of post-separation domestic abuse. Yet the term itself has been deliberately distorted by groups with ideological and financial motives, often because statistical patterns show that more fathers experience it than mothers. However, this is not, and never has been, a gendered issue. It affects countless devoted parents—both mothers and fathers—who are unjustly torn from their children’s lives by manipulation and control.⁠

⁠

At its core, parental alienation is an abuse of power. The parent with primary residency is typically in the strongest position to alienate the child, preying on their most primal fear: abandonment. But alienation is not exclusive to resident parents—non-resident parents can also engage in these tactics. Children, caught in the crossfire, are coerced into rejecting one parent to secure the approval of the other, often without realising how they are being manipulated. The psychological consequences are severe and long-lasting. Adults who were alienated as children are now speaking out, confirming the devastation they endured. Ignoring their testimonies only serves to protect those who inflicted the harm.⁠

⁠

Despite its severity, parental alienation has yet to be formally recognised in the UK as the child protection issue it so clearly is. Initially, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 acknowledged alienating behaviours within its draft statutory guidance, listing clear examples of coercive control that align with parental alienation. However, after just over 1,000 responses to a public consultation, these references were removed in July 2022. This wasn’t because the harm was disproven—it was a political decision, driven by those who find the term ‘contentious.’ Even organisations such as Women’s Aid acknowledge that these behaviours are abusive, yet they continue to reject the term ‘parental alienation’ itself, leaving alienated parents fighting an uphill battle in family courts.⁠

⁠

The truth is, parental alienation is already reflected in existing legal definitions of domestic abuse. The Domestic Abuse Act explicitly identifies coercive and controlling behaviours, including isolating a victim from supportive family and professionals, blocking communication, using children as weapons of control, making threats, and inflicting psychological harm. Yet despite these behaviours being recognised in law, many professionals still fail to connect them to the reality of parental alienation, leaving children unprotected from its devastating effects.

History shows that abusive behaviours often go unchallenged until enough people demand change. Marital rape was once dismissed as a private matter. Coercive control took years to be legally recognised. Now, alienated children are beginning to break free and reclaim their voices—not the ones shaped by fear and coercion, but their true, authentic voices. More of them are reaching out, joining my coaching calls with their targeted parents, and confirming what we have always known: parental alienation is real. The tide is turning. Recognition is coming. Hold strong.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#domesticabuseawareness

#childpsychologicalabuse

#alienatedchild