Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse

Prayerful Diagnosis of NPD

Dear Ones,

I wrote this piece in 2014. After stumbling upon it recently, I realized (with sadness) that not much has changed in over 7 years in regards to narcissistic abuse victims receiving the help they need.

Authors are still writing books claiming that there are ways to “make it work” with a narcissist.

Many therapists are also making these claims though, in my experience, I haven’t encountered a single survivor of narcissistic abuse who has witnessed such change outside of these therapy offices.

Most narcissists will STILL never be diagnosed, much less change their hateful and malicious ways.

Many mental health professionals continue to act like it’s a scandal when people use the word ‘narcissist’, smugly stating that only trained professionals can make such diagnoses, when thousands of them fail to do so themselves, putting abuse victims in harm’s way and ruining the lives of generations.

Even with all the newfangled theories and diatribes about “self-aware” narcissists and those who are self-proclaimed “diagnosed” narcissists, there is little leeway being made in the lives of abuse victims.

Despite all the contemporary “trauma-informed” therapy and approaches, narcissistic abuse victims still struggle immensely in the wake of toxic relationships.

It seems we’ve barely scratched the surface in the 7 years since I wrote this short essay.

Don’t get me wrong, abuse survivors are still liberating themselves and healing, but it’s mostly because of their warrior spirits and noble bravery.

It’s because there’s a small spark inside of them; memories of being happy; snapshots in the corners of their minds about the possibility of a different life – keeping the faith that there MUST be more to life than THIS.

And there is. There will always be.

The trick is that you can’t see clearly unless you remove yourself from the traumatic influences of narcissistic spouses, partners, family members, coworkers, etc.

And this is my prayer, too. That you find the will to choose yourself and a happier life. A healed life. One where you decide you’ll never cater to an abuser’s ways ever again.

Holding you in my heart. Xo

Kim

https://kimsaeed.com/2014/01/10/a-prayer-for-those-diagnosing-the-narcissist/

Don’t Abandon Your Inner Child

…and possibly your biological children.⁠
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I see so many beautiful souls who believe that by forgiving the narcissist and giving them another chance, they can help the narcissist feel accepted and loved. They believe they can appeal to the narcissist’s hurt inner child and that this might create a breakthrough in the relationship.⁠
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But instead of miraculous breakthroughs, lives are being destroyed. Families are broken. Loved ones suffer. ⁠
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For these reasons, then, we should resist the call that we show greater sympathy for these abusive individuals, at least to the extent that by doing so we are causing greater and unnecessary harm to ourselves and other members of our family. ⁠
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Why show patience with the narcissist when they are repeatedly inflicting deep wounds upon us and when they are having such harmful effects on our children and their emotional development? ⁠
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While it’s true that most narcissists were wounded as children, we must realize that those children are now gone. In their place are adults with underdeveloped levels of emotional maturity, deficient attachment capabilities, and a complete inability to empathize with others. ⁠
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What’s left in the place of those wounded children are scheming manipulators who don’t give a care about anyone except themselves and their own immediate needs.⁠
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Our energies are wasted on the narcissist and are better devoted elsewhere—to improving our own lives and giving our children the sort of childhood that will enable them to have healthy relationships and happy lives.⁠
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The pain that ending a relationship with a narcissistic partner will bring leads people to hope and look for some other way. ⁠
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Articles that hold out promises of narcissists changing and of your improving your relationship with them are stepping in to serve that misguided need. But, the truth is: it’s dangerous to keep a narcissist in one’s life. The ripple effect from doing this is far beyond the scope of what people can generally comprehend while in the midst of abuse.

If you’d like gentle guidance on taking your power back from the narcissist, join me and other wonderful thrivers in my therapist-approved program for narcissistic abuse recovery.

You will learn real-life ways to develop new and empowering habits that heal – AND are backed by psychology and neuroscience.

For full details of this nurturing program, click here:

https://bit.ly/3aPxo7N

Your friend on the journey. xo ❤️

( #📷 @kim.saeed )

Toxic Smart Meters

This is precisely what you DON’T want the back of your bedroom wall to look like. Tell your utility provider that you’d like to replace your smart meter with a non-radiation emitting analog meter. If you live in an apartment building, encourage your neighbors to make the switch, too. #radiation #awareness Photo taken in #neworleans.

Homeowners can ask for an analog meter which dies not emit deadly Radation .

Over it, long ago; the legacy of NPD , the Never Ending Pain

You can do all the research in the world to understand the inner workings of the narcissist’s mind, but it will do nothing to influence the outcome of the relationship.⁠
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Narcissists don’t think like most people. You can try to appeal to their seemingly ‘hurt’ inner child, be the most devoted partner or family member, and do everything they ask of you, but it will not change a thing.⁠
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Ever.⁠
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Narcissists are not interested in stable, loving, reciprocal connections. The idea of meeting your emotional needs repulses them to the core. The only positive leanings they have about your love and devotion are that they can use your sentimental feelings against you for their own benefit.⁠
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Here’s one thing I know to be absolutely true – when it comes to narcissists, we all want to believe we’ll be the exception to the rule, but none of us ever are.⁠
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There simply is not a way to “make things work” with a narcissist that doesn’t involve erasing your own identity, emotions, and needs.⁠
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You cannot set boundaries with them (none that they’ll honor, anyway)⁠
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You can’t reason with them.⁠
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You can’t get them to stop lying, cheating, betraying, etc.⁠
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You cannot have a loving, reciprocal, healthy relationship if you’re the only one interested in having it.⁠
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And this is the last thing on the narcissist’s mind, even if they try to convince you otherwise. Pay attention to patterns, because patterns never lie.⁠

Don’t forget to claim your free healing roadmap. It’s been downloaded tens of thousands of times and has helped people across the globe to begin their recovery in gentle and encouraging ways:

https://bit.ly/BeginnersRoadmap

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selfhealers #toxicrelationshipcheck #doesntworklikethat ⁠

( #📷 @kim.saeed )