One lesson after another , has encouraged
me that my path is correct. Of course there
are speed bumps , as I discovered when an
Earth Angel mirrored the past and present
position that was the blockage , lacking
Lacking very little childhood info of former
and rushed into a relationship , I denied
my intuition , I married my oppositional
teacher, a pattern of repressed anger , that
came out of no where , zapped me emotionally
and physically , which I was supposed to get over
without his taking responsibility .
Masking Pretending to care, to listen , to
hear , perhaps because it triggers , but holding
it , especially in an exchange that’s going well
is a freaking land mine , a red flag of imbalance.
Of repressed emotions, unhealed areas that are
exposed and offering varied solutions, can
overwhelm one whose determined and focused
on survival and self preservation , who
cannot hear , and fear/anger/rage are reactions
that thwart trust or intimacy , the very foundation
of any relationship.
My vulnerable side has brought me much joy
opening vistas of imagination and though
and progress in my soul growth . I do not consider
myself complete nor done , but readied to
embrace the unknown that change brings , as
I receive actualized proof in the gifts 🎁 that
I discover each day.
And that’s my Bliss, is a better sense of myself
and how folks respond , positiveness or adversity
My intentions , dreams , prayers have been delayed
overlong in not stepping out , when anyone is
experiencing the fears inherit in transition ,
surrendering to their divinity means they
detox , and spew on me .
I’ve done the review , of myself over and over
in deep thinking with no one to hear me , because
it’s so freaking painful . From the top down
the unknowing and lack of support were suffocating .
That was the whole of my marriage , top down
was the judgement of a ” resting bitch face “
whose critique of everything me , was exposed
enough to make it clear , as the RBF came
out in words , critiques infected our marriage
as former transitioned into the doer, and
with addictions and co dependency , his anger
in everything was targeted at me .
Especially in regards to feminine , grief , action
children, any responsibility in his partnering
and parenting of which he had been separated
from since day one in resistance to his lack of
choice . Ignoring his responsibility , he began
rewriting the scrip that allowed him to consider
me unworthy with the context of perfection
and details , that did not convey .
However the codependent with each child ,
implies ownership , total exile of the parent
who was or developed addictions , behaviors
that do affect children . My core was so altered
by professional aide , so quickly the cement dried
as my body and mind were hacked, and his
inaction and demand I act normal reverberated
in a recent exchange …
Test over , and it’s a finale , or it’s transformed
I surrender all to Divine ..
With grace I had a major breakthrough , and extremely
positive proof that off set the triggered spew
which helped me to even better understand
that standing down, is divine intervention.
Seeds planted , intentions for soul growth
requires stilling the mind , and surrender .
Pushed away, as the current ” source ”
allows for that space . In that the results
are entirely YOUR own.
As it is blueprinted …
So I let go..for change is upon us, each of us .
I am ready , beyond ready ..
My bags are packed , this is my train .
The free will choice of each soul is a Divinity .
Explained by a professional .😘
For me Thy Will Be Done ✅
Ready to Receive the harvest of my seed
planting ..shadow included .😘