Tag: therapy

Mental & Legal Professionals fail our children/ Parental Alienation

It’s crucial for mental health professionals and family courts to look beyond the “voice of the child.” While a child’s expressed wishes are important, they can be influenced by various factors, including enmeshment with one parent and coercive control dynamics. In these situations, the child might be manipulated or pressured into expressing negative feelings or rejection towards the other parent. Covert psychological abuse and trauma bonding are central elements of these dynamics. These behaviours are subtle, they may even look like love, closeness, and care, making them challenging to detect.

Due to ongoing manipulation and control, trauma bonding occurs when the child becomes emotionally attached to the alienating parent, further reinforcing their unjustified, ‘coached’ negative perceptions of the other parent.

Therefore, mental health professionals and family courts have a duty of care to conduct thorough and impartial assessments, looking beyond appearances. Failing to do so inadvertently allows what could be seen as a form of legal kidnapping, where a child is unjustly separated from a loving parent. It’s essential that professionals consider the broader context, potential manipulation, and the child’s best interests to ensure fair and just outcomes in such sensitive cases.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#FamilyCourt

#divorce

#highconflictdivorce

#traumabonding

Help that too often hurts in Parental Alienation/ Child Psychological Abuse

Well-intentioned professionals, therapists, legal experts, friends and family members, can inadvertently worsen the situation. This occurs when they do not understand parental alienation. They often, not without reason, prioritise the child’s perspective, not taking enough into account the covert, coercive, harmful influence of an alienating parent, almost indoctrinating this child. The child may seem highly passionate and plausible. They may express confusion, anger, fear, but not so much of the manipulation. By validating the child’s apparent “choices,” people who could otherwise be more supportive of all the victims of alienation (not just the child) often overlook the deeper causes behind the rejection of a previously cherished and caring parent.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#childpsychologicalabuse

Charlie McCready – Professional advice on PA-

Coping with the opinions and suggestions of friends, family, and even mental health care professionals can be challenging when facing parental alienation. It’s helpful to remember, they don’t mean to be unkind, they’re just ignorant and have no idea what we’re going through. That’s why it is helpful to be on groups such as this (I hope). I’ve walked in your shoes. My partner has too. We have over 20 years experience, and as step-parents too. We have also experienced the lack of empathy and true understanding from friends, family and ‘experts’. We sometimes find ourselves educating the educators and suggesting how people in positions of authority and safeguarding might better be able to detect alienating behaviours. Do you, too? Make sure you prioritise self-care. It does feel isolating. But you are not alone. Unfortunately, there are thousands and thousands feeling alone just like you. Just like I did (which is why I do all these posts). Set up boundaries. Reach out for help. Focus on the present, not the past and the love, not the loss. Maintain hope and – if you can – stay committed to maintaining a loving and open presence in your child’s life. Stay strong, my friends.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationisreal

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalalienation

#narcissisticabusesurvivor

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#FamilyCourt

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#custody

#childcustody

#custodybattle

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatter

Projection – Charlie Mc Cready

His last sentence..

Projection is a defence mechanism described in psychoanalytic theory where people unconsciously attribute their own undesirable traits, emotions, or impulses to others. In the case of alienating parents, this defence mechanism operates in the context of their relationship with the other parent, usually in the context of a divorce or separation.

When an alienating parent engages in projection, they project their own negative feelings, beliefs, or traits onto the other parent without acknowledging or addressing these aspects within themselves. For example, an alienating parent who harbours feelings of anger, resentment, or inadequacy may project these emotions onto the other parent, accusing them of being angry, hostile, or unfit as a parent. By projecting their own negative traits onto the other parent, the alienating parent seeks to deflect responsibility for their own emotions and behaviours while simultaneously vilifying the other parent.

This projection can contribute to the erosion of the child’s relationship with the targeted parent, as the child may internalise the negative perceptions projected onto the targeted parent by the alienating parent. Additionally, it can perpetuate a cycle of conflict and animosity between the parents, further complicating efforts to co-parent effectively and amicably.

Addressing the phenomenon of alienating parents projection requires a multifaceted approach, and it would ideally include therapy for the alienating parent so they could understand what they are doing, and the harm caused to, not only the other parent (which is probably their intention) but also their child. Unfortunately, as they project and not believe themselves to be the problem, they typically do not seek out this help. And tragically, the legal and health professionals don’t often enough recognise this behaviour so that therapeutic interventions aimed at facilitating healthy communication and co-parenting dynamics might be put in place. As I often repeat, this has to change, and ‘parental alienation’ needs to be recognised as a mental health crisis that causes spousal and child psychological abuse. It is a non-gendered, and global issue, and projection is just one of many alienating behaviours which should be identified.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#projection

#alienatingbehavior

#alienatedchild

#divorce

#custodybattle

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienationawareness

#FathersMatter

#mothersrights

#familycourt