Tag: relationships

Relationships truths – Wasting time

Keep it in mind that a person who is benefitting from being with you will never tell you to your face: ‘I don’t really love you, and I don’t see a future with you. But I don’t mind keeping you around for all the wonderful things you bring to my life. The way you help me make better decisions and shape my life. The way you keep me focused and inspire me. The way you assist me financially. The way you give me emotional and sexual warmth.’

Do not wait for this person to ever admit, ‘Honestly I feel lucky to get someone so richly resourceful yet so naive. They trust me for nothing and camp with me while time passes them by. The doors are open, and as soon as I find whom I truly want, I’ll just move on. But you decide to risk everything to be with me. Maybe you’re content with the little I give. But if I were you, I’d do better for myself.’

You will escort this type of person for two, ten, or twenty years, and they will still go away to the life they want.

And they’ll still slap you with the insult, ‘I never asked you to.’

You did all that for me, but it was your choice. You could have chosen differently if you wanted.’

I hope you don’t mistake patience for wasting your time.

Waiting on the wrong person is wasting your time.

Banking on someone who isn’t giving you evidence of honesty is wasting your time.

Investing more and more into a relationship doesn’t make it stronger if you’re the only one who is investing.

There comes a time in life to put yourself first and work with your own schedule in life.

If you can’t afford years of suspense and delay, neither can you afford to hang around with people who aren’t sure about you or where the relationship is going.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

Mom’s wisdom

My mom did not sleep. She felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day my dad said to her:

– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied:

– It’s okay.

My brother said to her:

– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University.

My mom replied:

– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her:

– Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied:

– Okay daughter, take it to the car shop & find out how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her:

– Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied:

– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered worried to see these reactions coming from Mom.

We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed some pills called “I don’t give a damn”… Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an “intervention” w/my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had to some anti-tantrum medication.

But then … she gathered us around her and my mom explained:

“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life. It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, my depression, my courage, insomnia & my stress, does not solve your problems but aggravate mine.

I am not responsible for the actions of anyone & it’s not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration, and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator in them all…

I can only control myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be. My job is to pray for you, love on you, and encourage you but it’s up to YOU to solve them & find your happiness.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me & it depends on you to follow it or not. There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live them.

So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.

Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.

From that day on, the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it is that they needed to do.

.

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For some of us, this is hard because we’ve grown up being the caregivers and feeling responsible for others. As moms & wives, we are fixers of all things. We never want our loved ones to go through difficult things or to struggle. We want everyone to be happy.

But, the sooner we take that responsibility off of our shoulders & on to each loved one, the better we are preparing them to be MEsponsible.

We are not here on earth to be everything to everyone. Stop putting that pressure on yourself.

Much Love;

Charlyn

Via The Soul Journey with Sarah Moussa join us👉👉 Ripple of Inspiration

Relationship with Narcissistic

Relationships with narcissists are some of the most mentally and emotionally exhausting experiences a person can go through.

This is the one relationship where your love, kindness, and loyalty don’t bring closeness, but instead invite betrayal, anger, and devaluation.

The harder you love them, the more they seem to want to break you.

At first, a narcissist will mirror everything you want to see. They will make you feel special, adored, and irreplaceable. They will listen intently, act supportive, and say all the right things to gain your trust.

It feels like the connection you’ve always wanted—until it isn’t.

Over time, things shift. The same person who once admired you now seems irritated by your presence.

The one who used to appreciate your kindness now belittles you for it.

The same loyalty they once praised suddenly feels like a weakness they exploit.

You start to feel like you can’t do anything right, no matter how hard you try.

Narcissists thrive on control. They manipulate through guilt, gaslighting, and emotional highs and lows. One day they make you feel like you’re everything to them, and the next, they withdraw affection, lash out, or treat you like you don’t matter.

It keeps you stuck in a cycle—always trying to get back to the good moments, always blaming yourself when things go wrong.

The truth is, a narcissist’s love is conditional, but their hatred is not. The better you are to them, the more they want to tear you down. They see your kindness as weakness, your love as something to exploit, and your loyalty as something they own.

The more you give, the less they respect you.

Trying to love a narcissist doesn’t heal them—it drains you. You will bend over backward to prove your worth, but they will never be satisfied.

They don’t want love; they want power. The moment they feel they have complete control, they lose interest or seek ways to break you further.

Walking away is the only way to win. Narcissists don’t change, and they don’t suddenly wake up one day and appreciate you.

The love, kindness, and loyalty you so freely gave to them – give it back to yourself. That’s where true healing begins.

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