Tag: Parental Alienation
Alienated Dad / Charlie McCready
Once I understood X was using our sons to get information and further impart abuse as I was insulted time after time it became a no brainer
Let em go
The quote on this post is from an alienated dad who got so tired of fighting, being sad and accustomed to not having his children in his life, that he has gotten to a point of acceptance, ‘surrendering’ to it. For a long time he couldn’t understand the alignment (trauma bonding) with a parent he knows his children find difficult. He worked on understanding the pathology behind alienating behaviours. Even so, there are still those days of feeling that loss, and his quote encapsulates the deep longing for the presence of his children in his life, even though their absence has become a painful reality he has grown accustomed to. Despite the emotional distance and the expanse of time, the yearning for his children lingers but he has also found a way to ‘detach’ too. In the detachment that comes with the acceptance, he has found some peace of mind. Importantly, he also decided not to stay stuck in grief and got on with his life. He remarried and is happy. That’s not to say he ‘gave up’ but he came to a point of just saying his children will come to them if they want to come to them … In this detachment, he discovered a newfound peace of mind.
While we cannot control the actions of others, we have the power to shape our own destinies. Alienators won’t change and are typically incapable of love or happiness – not lasting, not real. Relationships really aren’t their thing. But we can move on, and love, and be happy. We owe it to ourselves. Our doors are always open to our children, but we’re getting on with our lives too. Crucially, this father’s story exemplifies resilience. He refused to be defined solely by the absence of his children. He made the courageous choice to move forward, embracing love, and finding happiness anew. In his remarriage and the life he has rebuilt, he demonstrates the remarkable capacity of the human spirit to heal and thrive, even in the face of unimaginable pain. We can choose to love again, to be happy, and to live fulfilling lives no matter what.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#fathersrights
#mothersrights
#childrensrights
Charlie McCready- Not ok to bully child into rejection of other parent
Alienating parents often engage in destructive and bullying behaviours, projecting their own traits, unresolved issues and/or motivations (such as narcissism, a perceived need for revenge, selfishness, or financial gain) onto the targeted parent. Driven by jealousy, resentment, or a desire for control, they engage in destructive, disordered parenting and manipulate their child’s perception of the other parent. Their actions are rarely motivated by genuine concern for the child’s well-being.
These parents refuse to engage in healthy co-parenting and actively work to sever the child’s bond with the other parent. They may go to great lengths to remove the other parent from their lives and the child’s, too, denying them access and creating barriers to a meaningful relationship while fabricating reasons to justify their behaviour. They may also involve extended family members, isolating the child from an important part of their support and identity.
It’s essential to recognise that alienating parents rarely acknowledge the harm they cause. Not to us, not to the children, not to other family members or friends, and not to family courts, schools, police, or therapists. Most are unwilling to take responsibility or seek help. However, as children grow and mature, they often begin to see through the manipulation and recognise the truth. So hold strong, my friends. Remember that the truth has a way of coming to light, even in the most challenging circumstances.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#parentalalienation
#parentalalienationawareness
Disrupted relationships- Charlie McCarthy/ Parental Alienation
Parental alienation can become particularly severe, leading to complete alienation, interrupted contact, and prolonged legal battles. This level of alienation is often associated with the involvement of a parent displaying Cluster B personality disorders, which include Narcissistic, Borderline, Anti-social, and Histrionic personality disorders. These disorders are characterised by erratic, emotional behaviours that can significantly affect parenting.
In the context of parental alienation, the focus is often on parents with narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, as they tend to be prevalent in these cases.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Narcissistic parents present a facade of perfect, successful parenting to the outside world while behind closed doors, it is marked by fear and control. They intimate: “Grow up and be wonderful, for me.” Traits include entitlement, emotional deprivation, and a lack of empathy.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): These parents fear abandonment and resort to manipulation and control to prevent it. They often use their children as emotional support. Sometimes, they threaten self-harm, even suicide, to maintain control and avoid abandonment whilst appearing very close to their children. This closeness is often a result of a lack of emotional boundaries, known as enmeshment. BPD parents might also engage in Fabricated Illness Syndrome or Munchausen’s Syndrome by Proxy, again to maintain control. They might say: “Bad things will happen to me (parent) if you leave.”
Family System Distortions: Family dynamics become distorted during parental alienation. The role-reversal relationship emerges, elevating the child’s role and causing the targeted parent’s authority to diminish. This is achieved through the child aligning with the alienating parent’s narrative. The alienator (the persecutor) becomes the rescuer, the child (victim) becomes the persecutor towards the targeted parent, and the targeted parent (also the victim) becomes the abuser in the child’s perception due to the manipulations of the alienator. Once the role-reversal relationship is established, the child’s thoughts and feelings intertwine with the alienating parent’s views. The child cannot distinguish their emotions and seeks validation from the alienating parent.
Family Projection: The family acts as a collective and can exhibit cult-like behaviours and shared beliefs passed down through generations, contributing to trauma reenactment resulting from unresolved family issues.
Emotional Cutoff: The targeted parent is completely excluded from the child’s life. This allows the child to avoid triggering anxiety in both the alienating parent and themselves. Sibling relationships are often strained, sometimes undergoing their own alienation in cases of step-siblings, and due to a lack of secure attachment, with children often vying for the alienating parent’s attention.
Understanding parental alienation and personality disorders provides some insight into the complex family dynamics that drive the behaviours that can lead to complete alienation and disrupted relationships.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#parentalalienation
#narcissisticparent
#coercivecontrol
Texas : Ruling on Parental Alienation
Parental alienation isn’t just emotional abuse—it’s a calculated campaign to erase a loving parent from a child’s life. And for too long, those behind it have hidden in plain sight, using the family courts as a weapon rather than a safeguard. But in Texas, something has shifted.
In a recent ruling—Stary v. Ethridge—the Supreme Court of Texas struck down a lifetime protective order that had banned a mother from any contact with her children, despite no clear or convincing evidence against her. The Court affirmed what alienated parents across the world have always known in their hearts: our presence in our children’s lives is not optional, or dependent on the goodwill of an ex-partner. It is a constitutional right.
This isn’t just a win for one family. The ruling sets a higher standard: from now on, no Texas court can impose long-term bans between parent and child without meeting the highest level of proof. This is justice inching closer to where it should be—though for many, tragically, it still comes too late.
If you’re a targeted parent in Texas, or anywhere, let this be a reminder: alienation thrives in silence and delay. You are not overreacting. You are not imagining it. If your child suddenly uses language that sounds rehearsed, if they repeat adult arguments they couldn’t possibly understand, if you’re constantly shut out of decisions, denied visits, or blamed for everything—that is not a child acting freely. That is a child caught in the grip of cognitive dissonance, ‘brainwashing’ … coercive control. It is child psychological abuse and spousal/partner psychological abuse.
I’m sure you are reading this because you know that parental alienation is a form of domestic abuse. Often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, denied, and incredibly poorly supported as a result. Courts in Texs can now, and must, consider the psychological abuse involved—modifying custody arrangements, ordering therapy, and holding alienating parents accountable. This is great news!
But none of this happens without action. Keep records. Stay calm. If you’re going the legal route (you might know my feelings about the current state of our family courts) seek advice from professionals who understand the damage alienation causes. And never, ever let someone convince you that your child is better off without you, just because the current system hasn’t caught up with this truth yet.
Your love and resilience matters—more than alienating parents would ever want to admit.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#traumabonding
Charlie McCready
Parental alienation is the weapon of choice for vengeful exes—an underhanded, deliberate campaign of psychological abuse that they’ll never admit to, because doing so would be admitting to harming their children. They hide behind false claims and lies, painting themselves as the victim while turning their child’s vulnerability, confusion and innocence into a twisted allegiance built on deceit. It’s not just the other parent they’re erasing; it’s the child’s right to love and be loved by both parents.
And what’s truly infuriating is that too many people believe them. The system—the family courts, mental health professionals, schools, police, child services …. are too quick to swallow their story, turning a blind eye to the manipulation and betrayal happening right under their noses. The truth is; parental alienation is a hidden form of child abuse that rips families apart, leaving targeted parents feeling powerless and children suffering too, whether they realise it or not – many do later when they see the bigger picture, see through the lies and coercive control.
More previously alienated children are coming forward, which helps validate the experience that so many want to deny is real. Parental alienation (though it can be called many other things – an attachment disorder, pathogenic parenting, hostile aggressive parenting, intractable contact, narcissistic parenting, disordered parenting, malicious parent syndrome, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, domestic partner abuse, child psychological abuse, spousal abuse, domestic violence, family bond obstruction or child alienation …) is real, and mothers and fathers inflict it and it is suffered too by children, mothers and fathers – and grandparents. All over the world. We need to be united on this.
It is slowly (too slowly) becoming more globally recognised as hugely damaging to millions of children and their parents. The scientific papers are definitely moving in the right direction for us, towards the identification and categorisation of alienating behaviours being intimate terrorism, family violence and child abuse. All denials of parental alienation are nothing more than an insult to those of us who experience it as a daily reality. Legal and mental health professionals need to get up to speed so they can identify alienating behaviours by the ‘aligned’ parent, spot the signs in the enmeshed/indoctrinated/terrorised child, deter it from continuing, and take fast action against it.
If you are going through parental alienation, know you’re not alone. I’ve been through it myself. Personally and professionally, I have over 20 years of experience. I am reunited with my children and here to offer support with daily posts on social media and also with the coaching I offer. Please feel free to reach out to me at any time.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#coparentingwithanarcissist
#CoerciveControl
#traumabonding
Beyond a certain age children criticize targeted parent – Charlie McCready
Our children repeated comments made by X or his gal or family , which were filled with hatred , blame and name calling .
It’s a painful reality when our reaction to the provocation becomes the focal point, allowing the alienating behaviour to go unchecked. Everyone seems to look the other way, directly at the target parent. This power is amplified when the child also points fingers at the target parent. The child has been enmeshed, coerced, lied to, bribed, manipulated, and essentially brainwashed into sharing the alienating parent’s delusions triggered by separation or divorce. The ‘aligned’ parent’s narcissistic wound has been opened, and they’ve weaponised the child.
We must be careful how we react because this is not a normal child/parent relationship from here on. This isn’t adolescence or estrangement, and it has been inflicted on you and the child. It is child psychological and spousal psychological abuse, commonly known as parental alienation.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#FamilyCourt
Estrangement vs Alienation
Charlie McCready-Toxic
Over the years, I’ve become alert (and impervious probably) to the language expressed in comments, such as when I can detect an alienating parent is in our midst, and they usually are quite aggressive in their assertion that they’re protecting their child from abuse. Often, it’s not hard to detect, because they might say something along the lines (polite version here …) ‘You don’t understand because you’re male’. I don’t even bother replying that I work alongside my partner who was an alienated mother (and step-mother, as I was an alienated step-father too). It’s not mothers vs fathers or vice versa though some do all they can to make it so, and this is incredibly unhelpful to all alienated parents, and grandparents and of course the children too.
Of course, protecting children from abuse is paramount, and there are instances where parents genuinely need to protect their children from abusive situations. But when the child is being kept from a non-abusive, loving, available parent with no justification whatsoever, alienating behaviours are themselves abusive. It’s important to distinguish between cases of abuse and situations where parental alienation is used as an excuse to maintain control. But if a parent thinks their ex is toxic, as one example here, that is not reason enough for them to wilfully limit, obstruct, or damage the relationship between their child and the other parent. ‘Toxicity’ is their opinion, not the child’s. The children should be free to enjoy the love of both parents. They should not be coerced into choosing one over the other to suit the alienating parent’s wishes/vendetta.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#parentalalienationawareness
#emotionalabuse
Family Court Nightmare for Mom
19 Year-Old Sues Family Court Officials for $250 Million for Taking Her Away from Mom; Giving Custody to Father
Defendants Include Lawyers, Social Workers, Evaluators, GAL’s
“The defendants conspired to deny Annelise access to the courts and intentionally inflicted emotional distress on Annelise while she was still a minor. Defendants knowingly interfered with Annelise’s constitutional right to a relationship with her mother and four siblings, causing inordinate stress and difficulty.”
– Dede Evavold, blogger at Red Herring Alert
Annelise Rice, a hockey player at UND [University of North Dakota] and graduate of Minnetonka High School, filed a lawsuit on March 17, 2017, in Minnesota federal court seeking damages for deprivation of civil rights by tortuous [sic] intervention [interference] in a mother-child relationship and deprivation of rights under color of the law (Civil Action No. 17-cv-796 ADM/HB).
…The defendants include court-appointed Guardians at litem, Social Workers, and lawyers who were involved in the custody evaluation and CHIPS (Child in Need of Protection or Services) proceedings for Annelise Rice.
…Judges, lawyers, and social workers no longer have absolute immunity and can be held responsible for their actions that deprive Constitutional rights, even if they are acting in an official role.
This case is highly unusual due to the large amount of defendants involved.
…Annelise asks the court for relief in an amount great enough to deter defendants and others in similar positions from engaging in this egregious misconduct in the future. There have been many cases of negligence by social services that have put young lives at risk.
Social workers, Guardians at litem, lawyers, and judges need to be held accountable to prevent further neglect, abuse, and deaths of children in protective care. This lawsuit could potentially turn into a class action suit, because of the amount of families that have been mistreated in this way. Contact: Annelise Rice at More.moxie@me.com
EXCERPTS from:
19 YEAR-OLD SUES FOR DEPRIVATION OF CIVIL RIGHTS
SUMMARY:
Annelise’s mom, Caroline, went from being a stay-at-home mom to losing custody of her five children. When the father decided he wanted to take the kids away from his ex, family court officials, led by Judge Richard Perkins, kicked into gear and made that happen. Full custody was awarded to the father, even though the children testified to horrible physical abuse by him.
At one point, Annelise ran away from her father and fled to Canada with her mom, however they were caught and Caroline was jailed. Caroline was jailed three times in her many attempts to protect her children, and she was tormented there in an effort to break and silence her.
Judge Perkins presided over the prosecution of Caroline for “abduction”, which was a clear conflict of interest, and at which she, not surprisingly, was convicted. But the appellate court actually overturned her conviction citing Judge Perkins’ biased handling of the case, including exclusion of evidence of the father’s abuse from the jury. So there was some due process for Caroline at the appellate level, which is unusual.
The children have spoken about the pain of losing their mother for many years.
COALITION NOTE: The sheer number of court-affiliated officials whom Annelise is suing spotlights the systemic coordination to empower fathers to take custody of their children—and that is not an exhaustive list. There are likely many more professionals who participated. Most cases in which a mother is trying to keep or protect her children involves many court-affiliated professionals who go along with the agenda and help the father win custody—whether he is abusive or just wants to avoid child support.
It is unclear why Judge Richard Perkins is not included in the lawsuit, since the article asserts that judges can now be held accountable through these civil rights lawsuits, and especially since an appellate court found Judge Perkins to have been biased.
It is also unclear who the judge is on Annelise’s federal civil rights case. The docket states that it is Judge Ann Montgomery, but that it is referred to Judge Hildy Bowbeer. Hopefully, whoever it is will not dismiss the case and will make fair rulings.
Answers to Annelise’s complaint are due in June. Watch this space for updates.
Previous Safe Kids post:
Judge Richard Perkins Held Accountable for Covering Up Abuse!
Some of the story as told by Annelise’s older sister, Lauren
[Pictured: Annelise and Caroline (top left); Judge Ann Montgomery (left middle); Judge Hildy Bowbeer (left bottom); Annelise (right)]
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 