Tag: education

Charlie Mc Cready

All stated here and more

Family courts, counsellors, and psychologists should be looking out for a child who is emotionally cut off from one parent with whom there was previously a loving relationship. Now the child finds that parent repellent and doesn’t want anything to do with any aspect of that parent’s life. Everything about that ‘target’ parent is deemed to be bad, wrong, and dangerous, and the child might express anxiety when the other parent is mentioned. The child is free to judge and criticise – they behave as if they’re above the other parent/grandiosity. There will probably be psychological ‘splitting’ where one parent is all good/a hero and the other parent is a monster/bad. There’s no grey – the alienated parent doesn’t even appear to be a force for good in the child’s memories. The alignment with one parent is strong with shared (delusional) thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. There may also be parentification, a kind of role reversal where the child regulates the parent, and acts as confidant and protector. The child has been privy to adult concerns and conversations. Bottom line; one parent is usually willing to cooperate, co-parent, find solutions, be reasonable, they are exhausted, heartbroken, and might not present well (and who would given this dreadful experience), and another parent, the alienator, is confident, charming, absolutely sure of their ‘victory’, but also throwing allegations, and not willing to cooperate or co-parent. These are a few signs of both alienated child/alienating parent, and plenty for the courts and counsellors and schools and anyone involved in child protection to be alert to and act upon.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain

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The hidden pathogen- Childress

Childress – 2015: 1) Remain Hidden

“What makes this pathogen so particularly malignant and dangerous is that it has a very sophisticated defensive structure. In all my years of providing psychotherapy, I’ve never seen a pathogen’s defensive structure this sophisticated, and dare I say, elegant. The defensive meme-structure (information structure) of this pathogen is extraordinary.

There are three components to the defensive meme-structure of this pathogen

Stay Hidden

The pathogen hides by projecting the focus of blame. The two major projections of blame are,

1) Onto the child; (“It’s not me, it’s the child that… xyz”)

2) Onto the other parent (“It’s the other parent who is the source of the problem.”)

It’s in this latter projection of blame onto you, the other parent, where this pathogen truly excels. Absolutely masterful defensive manipulation of blame onto you. I describe this in Foundations. This defensive meme-structure can reach truly masterful levels of interwoven manipulation and exploitation.

Throughout the alienation process, which can span years of continuing alienation, the pathogen is consistently able to keep the focus of external scrutiny on the parenting practices of you, the targeted parent. And even though you are entirely a normal-range and loving parent, no one ever believes that you are.

Why is that?

It’s a defensive meme-structure of the pathogen. I know what it is and I can describe it in detail. And we will be disabling it. The pathogen lays hidden in the shadows, in the dark recesses. We will be exposing the pathogen to the light.

The pathogen also stays hidden behind the child (that’s, in part, how it keeps the focus on you). It is essentially using the child as a “human shield.” No one sees the pathogen because they naturally assume the child is authentic. No. When this pathogen enacts the pathology, it steals the authentic child.

The child is caught in a role-reversal relationship with the narcissistic/(borderline) parent and is being used as a “regulatory object” to regulate the emotional and psychological state of the parent…

The pathogen remains hidden behind the child.

When other people, including therapists, assume (falsely) that the child is authentic, this then redirects the focus of external attention onto you. By remaining hidden, the pathogen is safe to enact the pathology.

When someone is able to penetrate the veil of concealment that hides the pathogen from view, and so sees the pathogen directly, this exposure of the pathogen threatens the ability of the pathogen to enact the pathology. In response to threat, a second level of defensive meme-structures are activated; ATTACK
ATTACK – Viciously

When the pathogen is seen, the person who has exposed the pathogen becomes a threat to the pathogen’s ability to enact the pathology.

The pathogen needs the pathology. The pathogen requires the pathology. This need to enact the pathology is at the level of a neurologically imposed psychological imperative. There is no other alternative for the pathogen. It MUST enact and maintain the pathology.

When you become an ex-husband, it is an imperative imposed by the structure of the pathogen that you also become an ex-father. There is no other alternative for the pathogen. This MUST occur. When you become an ex-wife, you must become an ex-mother as well. This is a neurologically imposed imperative for the pathogen. There is no other alternative possible for the pathogen.

The pathogen NEEDS the pathology. It requires the pathology.

When someone penetrates the veil of concealment and sees the pathogen, this threatens the pathogen’s ability to enact the pathology. The response of the pathogen to threat is to attack with incredible viciousness and a complete disregard for truth, accuracy, and reality.

Truth, accuracy, and reality will offer NO defense against the pathogen. The attack is not designed to destroy you (in which case truth, accuracy, and reality would provide a defense). The attack is designed to disable you, to nullify your threat, to nullify your ability to interfere with the enactment of the pathology.

The attack is to put you on the defensive, and to put the focus of attention onto you, and thereby take it off the pathogen. Whether the attack succeeds in harming you is secondary to its defensive role of putting the threat posed by the other person on the defensive and thereby nullifying the threat.” (Childress, 2015)

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857