Tag: abuse

The line between intervention and investigation can become fuzzy through suggestibility, and its outcome manipulated when questioning a child’s truth and beliefs. People often equate children to sponges that soak up information as they grow and learn about the world around them. They are vulnerable and suggestible. Repeated questioning can make someone believe they’re not giving the ‘right’ answer. If only asked once, there’s less chance of the answer changing. An alienating parent might ask: Did you have a good time with your mum/dad? The child will not only hear the tone of voice, but if asked often, the child will understand that ‘yes’ might not be the correct answer and change it to a ‘no.’ Another technique, conscious or not, is to offer two choices (yes/no) so that the child has less chance to elaborate and the parent controls the narrative, doing most of the talking. The parent may even ask a ‘leading question’ which leans towards an established assumption or bias. All the question demands is confirmation, not conversation. In law, this is called ‘suggestive interrogation.’ Suggestive questioning elicits different answers ie. ‘How did you feel when your mum/dad hit you?’ instead of ‘What happened when the argument started?’ The first question presumes abuse. Younger children are more suggestible than older ones. They may ‘recall’ things from prompts rather than real memories. The longer they’re exposed to false narratives, the foggier their memories become (like adults too). ‘I don’t know’ should be a perfectly valid answer. A child doesn’t know. They’re confused, frightened, angry, sad – alienation from a parent is traumatic. Unreliable answers are more likely in stressful situations too. Children want to please and placate the alienating parent. So much emphasis is put on the ‘voice of the child’ in making important decisions, but this is hugely problematic because they’re so suggestible and aligned with the more aggressive, controlling (alienating) parent, and this should all be taken into account.

#suggestibility

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#coercivecontrol

#FamilyCourt

#psychologicalabuse

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#Fathers4Justice

#parentsrights

#custodybattle