Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Charlie McCready – Coercive Control

An alienating parent will often engage in mirroring and projection. They are not the same thing. ⁠

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Mirroring is when someone reflects back to you your own emotions or behaviours. When someone calls you “crazy” or “oversensitive” after you’ve expressed feeling upset, it could be considered mirroring because they are using those words to reflect the emotions they perceive in you, generally because they’ve triggered it. It is like holding up a mirror to your emotions and labelling them with those terms.⁠

Projection is when someone attributes their own feelings, thoughts, or characteristics onto you. So if the alienating parent calls you “angry” or “controlling,” it could be that they feel or feel the need to be that way and unconsciously or consciously placing them onto you. It’s a defence mechanism where they distance themselves from their own feelings by attributing them to someone else.⁠

In both cases, the person’s words and actions can be emotionally hurtful, especially if they use negative labels to dismiss or belittle you. These dynamics can be part of emotional abuse or manipulation. If you find yourself in a situation where someone uses hurtful language or manipulation, it’s important to prioritise your emotional well-being and consider seeking support from friends, family, or professionals.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#emotionalabuse

#parentalalienation

#coercivecontrol

Alienators will strip you of all you love / Charlie Mc Cready

Pets hold a unique place in our hearts; they offer unconditional love, companionship, and a sense of solace. I found out recently that my beloved dog in the picture here, Ziggy Stardust, died back in 2016. I knew he must have died. I also know he had a happy life, but he was pretty much lost to me as a consequence of divorce. I’m not ashamed to say I wept in memory and in love for him. I had literally buried those feelings of grief (in particular about Ziggy) for a while, the awful moments of saying goodbye to him back in 2009 and then never seeing him again. Ironically, I’ve just written a post about ‘men cry too’. Well, I am not ashamed to say, I had one of those moments. I LOVED that dog. ⁠Look how beautiful he was! And he loved me too.

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We focus, of course, on the children robbed from our lives through parental alienation, but remembering Ziggy, and finding out that he had (naturally) died, made me reflect on the greater losses, such as our pets, that we lose as a result of this terrible experience. We lose a whole lifestyle, a whole way of life. I often hear how pets are never seen again. One man talked of how he was never allowed to see his dog after separation/divorce/parental alienation but just got sent the vet bills, including the one which was the termination of his dog’s life and cremation. These people will use any means possible, including our pets, to hurt us and to systematically remove every source of love and companionship from us. It is insidious, malicious, and abusive. The level of cruelty highlights the lack of empathy and the depths a psychologically abusive person, such as an alienating parent, will go to inflict pain on others. Please share your experience if this resonates with you.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#overcomingadversity

#grief

#healing