Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse

Choosing the Scapegoat Child /Child Abuse

These days decry , demand getting off the fence , of owing your truth after factual discernment of all influences in your life .

It’s shocking, Traumatic and extremely lonely and fraught with fear and anxiety .

I did it my way , rightly or wrongly on my own .

I realize I was an emotional parent in the lives of two parents who loved each other passionately and weathered much , including infidelity and reunion. What they lacked in child rearing was highly influenced by Distortions in their own lives ,including Dad leaving home due to his Dad not buying his school books . He lived with an Aunt & Uncle as I’ve learned. Dad held many of his traumas deeply and I was proud to hold him in his shadow , his griefs, his long held feelings that he wasn’t enough ..he never made it . I knew his anger as pain , deep emotional pain and I had lessons , many only once , where he blew up , and I simply pointed out the results, or impact on me and found it unacceptable .

Mom was not an emotional communicater especially matters of the heart UNTIL my marriage, birthing our 1st year with a week to spare .. Past says ” had to marry ” excuse me ?!

Already highly sensitive , Mom’s “Twilight Sleep” RX for childbirth, added to her trauma as soon as she discovered she was pregnant in degrees she dismissed or lived with. Twilight Sleep prohibits bonding as the Mom has an outer body experience and “forgets ” her birthing experience . Handed her babu, she has no idea of who babu is …scary huh?

So I truly get it , and her and it’s been very difficult to heal past wounds of mother but forgiveness began with our 1st born son. Forgiveness came when I accepted she was too bound and scared to face her shadows of which I am aware of to a degree and as I became aware of facts , they meshed with memory and affirmed intuitively.

I trust my self after years of delving into memory , written, spoken, pictures , 1st person stories and emotions that I translate with what I see , hear and experience .

I am trusted in my intuition, and I council and am counciled with out much disturbed energy , my home is my haven , my solace, my peace …

The end of shaky ground in my home life , all the resistance is clarifying in reality .

I am at peace and in forward motion as I navigate very trying times , that have tested me hugely on many levels but I held the light , I rest , I eat as much and as well as possible .

I took charge , and dared to parent myself. Dad was the mother in a bonding that challenged Mom , because she had no soul or spiritual connection due to Twilight Sleep to me and my Pisces nature , her Sagittarius fire , it felt like a competition, and that leeched into the multifaceted scarcity of unity in our family..It was divisive and certainly not something I wanted for children I brought to earth .

I forgave myself for being in a place that accepted masked folks , trying my best to flow with many issues that insulted my soul and were compounded with a son , for who I wanted parents, siblings and enough of all good things , most of all love .

His trauma has been abused and supported in hatred and fear as rage seeps , accusations repeat and retreating and silence is granted him and I enshrouded in death , muted , forgotten , past

This legacy is not healthy, wealthy or wise and that’s why all that should be considered is revealed and the options of healing intensified or ignored are a matter of free will and destiny .

I’m surrendered , Thy Will Being Done .

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/202104/how-toxic-families-choose-child-scapegoat

Why?

Astrological asking WHY ?

I can relate to most as a Pisces holding ,but not holding on to energies of each 12 Astrological signs .

Thankfully awareness has lightened my load of holding these energies and I no longer bear the responsibility of any sign but my own .


~~~~~~

Aries:
Why are you so impatient?

Virgo:
Why are you annoyed by everything?

Gemini:
Why are you so difficult to understand?

Cancer:
Why do you always think you’re right?

Libra:
Why do you always want to argue?

Capricorn:
Why do you hurt peoples’ feelings and cut people off for giving their opinion?

Taurus:
why are you so stubborn and argumentive?

Aquarius:
Why do you stay loyal to people that don’t deserve it?

Pisces:
How do you fool people into thinking they know everything about you when they only know 1%?

Sagittarius:
How do you remain so patient?

Leo:
Why do you act like you’re perfect in every way?

Scorpio:
Why are you so mean?

Enhanced by Psychiatric RX : use of which was totally supported by ex

If you’ve found yourself in a narcissistically abusive relationship, your discernment is likely skewed owing to long-term gaslighting and the narcissist’s use of cognitive empathy.⁠
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But, there’s still a part of you that understands how toxic your relationship is. ⁠
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With normal relationship conflicts, the couple comes back together as a team while feeling emotionally safe.⁠
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With narcissistic relationships, you find yourself begging for their forgiveness even when you’ve done nothing wrong. The thought of not having their approval makes you feel unwell, both mentally and physically.⁠
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In toxic relationships, there’s an unspoken awareness that the narcissist is somehow superior to you, even if you have far more accomplishments than they do. You can’t explain it, it’s like a psychic agreement between the two of you.⁠
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You might fool yourself into believing you’ve stood up to them by arguing, storming out, or making it clear they’ve crossed a boundary…but in the end, you realize how useless all of that is as you find yourself remaining in the relationship – much to the narcissist’s delight.⁠
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All of these things are telling in and of themselves, but one of the chief indicators that you’re being narcissistically abused is that you’ve found yourself in a psychological prison. Although you are an adult with the means to break away, you are met with psychological bars that hold you inside.⁠
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This psychological prison is learned helplessness. It occurs when a person unremittingly faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they could do so.⁠
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Learned helplessness is difficult to overcome, but it’s possible. ⁠
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If you’d like to learn how to begin defeating learned helplessness, Google ‘Kim Saeed Learned Helplessness’, and don’t forget to grab your free Beginner’s Healing Journey Roadmap.

❤❤❤ https://bit.ly/BeginnersRoadmap

And I did disconnect from this energy which has not pleased those distorted and ever in past lacking any humanity, compassion, forgiveness , which I cannot ignore any longer .

Many I held as ” family ” , children ..year after year , upholding the trauma and shadow secrets , unhealed and targeting me still , avoiding the horrible truths that do allow light and love and healing

Waking : More are !

“2022: Waves of Awakening”
The Council of the Guardians of the Light, through Kate Woodley

We will say the second half of this year (2021) was quite intense. As a result of the intense movement of energies within your fields, and the impacts it has had on all of you individually. What we are seeing, and what we have been seeing, is a mass awakening. This is going to continue.

But understand that your definition of awakening may be quite different from another’s definition of awakening. It is about teaching others to find their truth through connecting to their inner light and power. It is up to the individual to navigate this roadmap in a way that aligns with them from a place of joy, truth, light, and power. It is your experience and journey to behold.

Incoming Energies Will Unlock Innate Abilities

As we look and move forth into your next year, 2022, this mass awakening will continue. We are also seeing that the waves of light that are moving in will continue to propel forward the consciousness, the initiative, and the power and light within each. It is as if though these waves of light are going to bring about waves of awakening in different pockets of humanity.

Each individual will resonate more with some of the waves of incoming energies. That is the energy that will move them in the direction that they need to move. And again, this movement is not an outward movement. It is a movement inwards. For the key to raising your consciousness and connecting with your Source birthrights — all that you are entitled to by virtue of being a child of the Universe —
is through your inner journey. It is through recognizing that you are a powerful light Beings.

We are here to assist in your awakening. We are here to help you as you do it. In the same way that we invite all the Lightworkers and Starseeds to help their fellow humans through their awakening. It cannot be done for another, but you must honor their light.

It is as if though these waves of light that are coming in act as keys. These keys serve to open and unlock certain individuals, so that they can access and connect to these innate abilities. It is an unlocking, we may call it the percolation, but this is an expansion.

Societal Change Must Support the Awakening

As we have mentioned in the past, the tipping point has been reached, the human collective has together achieved an energetic frequency of magnitudes not seen for millennia. And it will continue to rise and rise. Much will happen as a result of this awakening. There will be some fast transformations upon your society. But understand that some of these transformations are more involved, they will take more time. But it must be conducted in a way that will resonate with the masses that will allow a certain level of adaptation and adaptability. It is in alignment with the greatest good of all. It cannot be an instant unraveling, our dear friends, for this will perpetuate fear and chaos, the very fear and chaos that we have been encouraging you to rise above. And so it must be done in a way that beckons a certain level of stability. The change is being restructured in a way that works for the ascension of humanity. It is a beautiful change.

Your Consciousness Propels a Positive Feedback Cycle

You must be patient. It is a reinvention. It is an exercise in creativity and thinking outside of the box. As you raise your consciousness, this becomes easier. For you are now going to be equipped and more apt at looking at solutions, new solutions to old problems. Your rising consciousness is going to fuel this change, and in turn, this change will help support the rising consciousness. It is a positive feedback cycle, you see.

It is about the new energies and new consciousness that are being ushered into your world that is going to trigger all of you to change within yourselves and to adapt to the change outside of yourself.

Your Inner Power is Your Birthright

It is a beautiful collaborative process. You all hold a piece of the puzzle. This is the key that you hold together. You co-illuminate all things. This is your power. It is your birthright. Nothing and no one shall take that from you.

So, 2022 will be a year of inner change that will help propagate change at a societal level. Our dear ones, it is not only change that you must look for outside of yourselves. It begins within. Once you are comfortable, at peace, and in a place of joy with who and what you are and the light that you shine, this is when it is time for you to step forth and be part of the outward change.

Do not wait for change to come from outside of yourselves. Now is the time to work within.

We stand with you. We applaud your courage, your resilience. Human resilience is truly one of your strongest traits and it is one that is widely admired. You are loved. And we part with you in a place of great love.

Thank you,
The Council of the Guardians of the Light

https://ascensioncalling.com/2022-waves-of-awakening/

Never Ever Better or Authentic or Reality Based

Not healthy nor wise in any way shape or form to hold faith of healing change .

Releasing all that distorted life , all contracts created to serve ONE …

Most accounts that teach about narcissistic abuse recovery are straightforward about the impossibility of repairing a relationship with a narcissist.⁠
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But, there are other accounts, some led by popular teachers and psychologists, that insist there is hope.⁠
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I’m here to spread the news that this is false. ⁠
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You cannot heal your relationship with a narcissist because in order for that to happen, the narcissist would need to WANT it to happen.⁠
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The narcissist would need to develop empathy, which isn’t possible. Narcissists cannot be taught empathy. All they can do is pretend.⁠
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No amount of “trauma-informed” therapy will make a lick of difference to a narcissist. ⁠
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You cannot heal a narcissist’s avoidant attachment style. They will not put in the effort to make that happen. They do not WANT to bond healthily with one person (including their own children).⁠
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Narcissists do not want stable relationships with one partner. The very idea of being in a normal relationship with one person bores them to tears and frightens them to their core.⁠
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Narcissists thrive on instability, drama, chaos, manipulation, and infidelity. These are the things that are exciting to narcissists. These are the things narcissists NEED.⁠
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And before you go thinking that you can offer these things to them, know that they don’t want one player in their game. They want multiple players who are positioned against each other.⁠
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They want different people fighting over them. ⁠
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They enjoy it when people get to their breaking point.⁠
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They are pleased when they’re able to hurt people emotionally.⁠
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Narcissism is part of the dark triad. It’s a close second to psychopathy. Anyone who would lead you to believe there are “safe” levels of narcissism or that narcissists on the so-called “low end” of the spectrum can have healthy relationships is either disillusioned or straight-up lying. ⁠
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Most therapists and teachers know full well that you can’t make things work with a narcissist. Other folks are trying to set themselves apart by appealing to the dream that there IS a way to make it work, exploiting your deepest vulnerabilities and exposing you to further trauma.

Holding you in my heart. Xo

Kim

No Longer Waiting

Life at Midlife

I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.

Author : Mary Anne Perrone

Photo: Ingmari Lamy
Photo Artist: Lina Michal