Not healthy nor wise in any way shape or form to hold faith of healing change .
Releasing all that distorted life , all contracts created to serve ONE …
Most accounts that teach about narcissistic abuse recovery are straightforward about the impossibility of repairing a relationship with a narcissist.
But, there are other accounts, some led by popular teachers and psychologists, that insist there is hope.
I’m here to spread the news that this is false.
You cannot heal your relationship with a narcissist because in order for that to happen, the narcissist would need to WANT it to happen.
The narcissist would need to develop empathy, which isn’t possible. Narcissists cannot be taught empathy. All they can do is pretend.
No amount of “trauma-informed” therapy will make a lick of difference to a narcissist.
You cannot heal a narcissist’s avoidant attachment style. They will not put in the effort to make that happen. They do not WANT to bond healthily with one person (including their own children).
Narcissists do not want stable relationships with one partner. The very idea of being in a normal relationship with one person bores them to tears and frightens them to their core.
Narcissists thrive on instability, drama, chaos, manipulation, and infidelity. These are the things that are exciting to narcissists. These are the things narcissists NEED.
And before you go thinking that you can offer these things to them, know that they don’t want one player in their game. They want multiple players who are positioned against each other.
They want different people fighting over them.
They enjoy it when people get to their breaking point.
They are pleased when they’re able to hurt people emotionally.
Narcissism is part of the dark triad. It’s a close second to psychopathy. Anyone who would lead you to believe there are “safe” levels of narcissism or that narcissists on the so-called “low end” of the spectrum can have healthy relationships is either disillusioned or straight-up lying.
Most therapists and teachers know full well that you can’t make things work with a narcissist. Other folks are trying to set themselves apart by appealing to the dream that there IS a way to make it work, exploiting your deepest vulnerabilities and exposing you to further trauma.
Holding you in my heart. Xo