If you’ve found yourself in a narcissistically abusive relationship, your discernment is likely skewed owing to long-term gaslighting and the narcissist’s use of cognitive empathy.
But, there’s still a part of you that understands how toxic your relationship is.
With normal relationship conflicts, the couple comes back together as a team while feeling emotionally safe.
With narcissistic relationships, you find yourself begging for their forgiveness even when you’ve done nothing wrong. The thought of not having their approval makes you feel unwell, both mentally and physically.
In toxic relationships, there’s an unspoken awareness that the narcissist is somehow superior to you, even if you have far more accomplishments than they do. You can’t explain it, it’s like a psychic agreement between the two of you.
You might fool yourself into believing you’ve stood up to them by arguing, storming out, or making it clear they’ve crossed a boundary…but in the end, you realize how useless all of that is as you find yourself remaining in the relationship – much to the narcissist’s delight.
All of these things are telling in and of themselves, but one of the chief indicators that you’re being narcissistically abused is that you’ve found yourself in a psychological prison. Although you are an adult with the means to break away, you are met with psychological bars that hold you inside.
This psychological prison is learned helplessness. It occurs when a person unremittingly faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they could do so.
Learned helplessness is difficult to overcome, but it’s possible.
If you’d like to learn how to begin defeating learned helplessness, Google ‘Kim Saeed Learned Helplessness’, and don’t forget to grab your free Beginner’s Healing Journey Roadmap.
And I did disconnect from this energy which has not pleased those distorted and ever in past lacking any humanity, compassion, forgiveness , which I cannot ignore any longer .
Many I held as ” family ” , children ..year after year , upholding the trauma and shadow secrets , unhealed and targeting me still , avoiding the horrible truths that do allow light and love and healing