Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

Harmful Dynamic of Parental Alienation on the child

Children subjected to the harmful dynamic known as parental alienation, exhibit distinct attitudes and behaviours. They become fixated on denigrating one parent, reciting numerous grievances, and treating that parent as if they hold no value. What’s even more concerning is that many deeply alienated children express desires for the parent’s demise or disappearance. Strikingly, they do so without any accompanying guilt or remorse for their hostile behaviour. Children who have experienced physical abuse, typically fear the person abusing them, adopting a compliant demeanour to avoid further harm. They do no such thing with the alienated parent they reject because they say they’re not safe, or unwelcome in their life – with no real justification for these accusations and a previously loving relationship. Often their reasons are trivial or irrational like disliking being asked to help around the house, or not swearing, or any other reasons which do not warrant the rejection and hatred. Again, this contrasts with abused children who can offer justifiable and real evidence for their aversion.

Ordinarily, children, especially in the teenage years, hold a mix of sentiments toward their parents, including both love and loathing. However, children subjected to parental alienation often lack ambivalence. They struggle to articulate anything positive about the alienated parent while protecting the preferred (alienating, abusive) parent with whom they are aligned and being indoctrinated. During parental disputes, these children instinctively side with their preferred parent and accept without question that parent’s allegations against the alienated parent. Their expressions of criticism often mirror the aligned parent’s grievances, even if they don’t fully understand the words and phrases used. This happens despite their insistence that their rejection of the parent is solely their own decision, unaffected by the parent they have been induced to favour.

As the alienation deepens, it extends beyond just the parent. It encompasses other family members and friends on the alienated parent’s side. Even hobbies and interests. Even pets. It is ‘hatred by association’. It is irrational and yet can become powerfully ingrained behaviour. It might be a cherished grandparent who they no longer want to see. It is tragic for all involved. The only person who might be considered a ‘winner’ is the alienating parent. ‘Winner’ is not a word to describe their behaviour. ‘Abuser’ is much more fitting.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationawareness

#childrensrights

Daughters

I am the daughter

of a daughter.

Who is the daughter

of a daughter.

Who is also the daughter

of a daughter.

Some of us are mothers

but all of us are daughters,

all birthed through lines

that weave back to

that First Mother.

All connected from

the very beginning.

All connected in the now.

Mothers,

Daughters,

Grandmothers,

Great Grandmothers,

Great Great Grandmothers.

All daughters born from

One. Original. Egg.

from

One. Original. Woman.

So why the separation?

Why the animosity toward each other?

Why the arguing and fighting,

back-stabbing and lack of support?

The next time you see another woman,

look in her eyes and see the

Ancestral Lines – the lines of women –

that lead back to you.

Where are we going Mother?

And how will we get there Sister?

By staying connected Daughter

and allowing for difference.

For we are each one,

after all,

all Daughters

of Daughters

of Daughters

of our

One Mother.

– Arlene Bailey

Unresolved Grief

Definitely: the ” Living connection ” for a Mom experiences living unresolved grief , which is the intent and mission of their non co parent .

One of the toughest things is that there’s no closure for the alienated parent. No justice. Ambiguous loss is a term that came about in the 1970s. A researcher called Pauline Boss studied military families, specifically those of soldiers missing in action. The body is not found, but until recovered, they could be alive. It can also be the case that someone is physically there but psychologically not, such as with Alzheimer’s. It is difficult to mourn in these circumstances. It is unresolved grief. Many people call the experience of parental alienation a kind of ‘living bereavement’ which describes this phenomenon. It can also be that we don’t or can’t accept our loss. Resilience and hope can help us accept our situation. Anticipatory grief is one we prepared ourselves, as we know the loss is coming, as with an Alzheimer’s patient, we lose them incrementally, while they’re still alive. And ‘frozen grief’ can make us numb and stuck. Ambiguous grief is, in a way, shapeless, and we have to make the best sense of it that we can. It is the only way. Facing up to our situation, and gaining a better understanding, is a step towards our healing, and we need to do this to lead the way for our alienated children. Focus on the love, not the loss, and the present not the past and strive to be happy, no matter what. ⁠

I have been through the trauma of alienation, and am totally invested in helping others. As well as my daily posts, I offer 1:1 coaching, and a 9-step program. Reach out if you’d like to know more about how I could help you.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#ambiguousloss

#healing

#mentalhealth

#emotionalabuse

#coercivecontrol

#gaslighting

#triangulation

Neglect /Narcissistic Abuse – Charlie McCarthy

I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is incredibly challenging, and your grief, rage or sense of injustice about feeling as if you’re unimportant, invisible, ignored, uncared for, and unloved are entirely valid. It’s important to acknowledge that being in the presence of a narcissist or a psychologically abusive person can be deeply damaging, as they often prioritise their own needs and interests above all else.

Your pain is real, and it’s not your fault. Narcissists (alienating parents often fall into this category) thrive on manipulation and control, and they may make it seem as if you’re the one at fault, but please remember that this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s all too common not to recognise the presence of a narcissist until we’ve already been deeply affected. They can be incredibly skilled at hiding their true intentions, and they excel at making us feel like we’re the ones who should be changing to meet their demands.

But here’s the truth: when we subjugate our own needs, wishes, and interests for the sake of a narcissist, we unintentionally empower them even more. It’s like feeding a never-ending appetite; they are insatiable in their need for control and admiration.

Please understand that you are not alone in this struggle. Many have faced similar challenges. It’s not an easy journey, but breaking free from the grip of narcissistic abuse is possible. You deserve love, care, and respect, just as anyone else does. Your spirit may feel crushed now, but with the right support, self-care, and healing, you can begin to mend the wounds inflicted.

Remember that seeking help through therapy or support groups can be a significant step towards understanding and healing from this traumatic experience. You have the strength within you to regain your power, rebuild your life, and emerge from this darkness into a brighter future.

You are important, visible, cared for, and loved, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Your journey to reclaiming your self-worth begins with recognising your value and taking steps towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Keep going. Stay strong, my friend.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#FathersMatter