Reality of Adult Children adapted to distortion

Have any of you had an adult or nearly adult, child make you feel like you’re still living with their parent? My oldest decided at 14, he wanted to live with his dad. At 19 now, with the help of his therapist, has seen through the bs and asked me to move in here. Of course, we opened our home for him, got him a job, have bent over backwards to ensure this feels like home to him. I love him being here, for the most part. He often comes to me when I’m just settling into bed, wanting to start an argument though. Because I stayed as long as I did. Because at 14, despite the lawyer and judge telling me I had no leg to stand on, I didn’t fight for him. There’s so much anger directed at me vs his dad and I feel like I’ve stepped back into that relationship again. ESPECIALLY with it all starting when I’m relaxed and ready to go to sleep. All of a sudden, he needs to talk and I’m the worst mom ever and if I try to tell him we can discuss tomorrow, he’s following me everywhere telling me that we need to talk now. I’m having such a hard time feeling the way I feel about my own child. I love him so much, but honestly, after being free from everything for 5 years now, I can not step back into it. I dont know how to get this across though without sounding like I am not willing to discuss it. I told him the other day, we can discuss all of this, im fully open to being candid and honest with you (we’ve had many, many, deep conversations regarding all of this) but that I could not be his punching bag. That I could not he kept up all night because he was itching for a fight with someone. 95% of the time, it absolutely breaks his heart if he sees me upset over something. He goes out of his way to help me, but that 5% its like he is enjoying the hell out of upsetting me. Pushing and pushing and saying absolutely horrible things and it’s like once he has me weak, vulnerable and crying, he’s ready for bed. Not until that point though. I’m really not sure how to handle this or where to even start?

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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