Tag: wisdoms

Bob Dylan Extended/ Knocking on Heaven’s 🚪 Door

This popped into my head as I lay in my bed with a robe on and my hair in a Bonet with heavy of conditioner..

I’m Thankful to be done with things that weight me down or hold me back . It brings joy to some to challenge and to win over others . And must place me in that competition I didn’t sign up for .

I signed up for pulling Heaven to Earth and I’ve known that space exist .

Thus this song 🎶 came to mind and I was transported . It’s more than a dream😘👍💯

* headphones highly recommended and tissues

S

youtube.com/watch

Born to be whole

The Cost of Being the Emotional Healer in a Dysfunctional Family.

When a family system is built on silence, suppression, or survival,

someone always gets assigned the unspoken role of the healer.

Not because they were ready —

but because they were willing.

Willing to listen.

Willing to soothe.

Willing to become emotionally available in a system that gave them nothing in return.

If this was you,

you became the stabilizer.

The peacekeeper.

The one who “understood.”

You decoded moods like a second language.

You anticipated everyone’s emotional needs — while yours became invisible.

And here’s the tragic psychology of it:

In many trauma-bonded families,

the child who senses the most becomes responsible for the most.

Not by force — but by emotional delegation.

You were praised for your maturity,

not realizing that “maturity” was code for self-abandonment.

Because what they called “wise beyond your years”

was really a child performing as a therapist.

According to Internal Family Systems (IFS),

a part of you became a manager —

tasked with keeping everyone else okay

so the system didn’t collapse.

But this comes at a cost:

The healer is rarely allowed to break.

The one who absorbs becomes the one who disappears.

And the more you regulated the chaos around you,

the less they noticed the storm INSIDE YOU.

Jungian theory would call this a fracture of individuation —

when your identity becomes fused with function.

You don’t know who you are without fixing someone.

But here’s the truth they never told you:

Healing isn’t your job.

Your nervous system was never meant to be the family’s emotional regulator.

You were meant to be a child.

Not a counsellor.

Not a mirror.

Not a bandage for generational wounds.

And now that you’re older,

you don’t owe anyone the version of you that kept them comfortable.

You can set it down.

The soothing.

The translating.

The pretending you’re fine.

You’re allowed to fall apart.

To be held.

To rebuild an identity that isn’t built on being useful.

Being the healer gave you survival.

But it’s not who you are.

You’re not their anchor.

You’re not their lifeboat.

You’re not the glue that holds the dysfunction in place.

You’re the one who gets to step out of the role.

Who gets to be more than what they needed from you.

Who gets to begin again — on your terms.

You were not born to be their solution.

You were born to be whole.

Born again Wound becomes the womb ❤️‍🩹

“As people are learning all over again in the modern world, when people who will not acknowledge their own woundedness are given power, they will make new wounds and possibly wound everyone because of their need to deny their own woundedness. The word heal means to cure and specifically to make whole. It turns out that being a whole person means we have to accept our vulnerable parts, and that we have to accept and learn to face our original inner wounds. For in this old, mythological understanding, the fateful event of being wounded early in life creates the need for a deep healing process that becomes the path of awakening for each person.

The path of the wounded healer leads to a connection to the deep self within, which is our connection to wholeness, which is the root of the human capacity to heal. There’s an old idea that says that in the same way that something greater than ourselves wounds us early on, something greater than ourselves seeks to awaken through the specific wounds we carry. In that sense, denying the inner wound means also denying the presence of the deep soul or the centering self, which holds the exact medicine we are looking for.

In some mythic stories, the wound inside a person is called the sacred affliction, or the holy wound. There’s another play on words in which the wound which can be seen as a hole, can also be seen as a holy element that secretly holds the natural antidote, the inner medicine that we also brought to life.

The wounded healer is ever wounded, and ever able to find ways of healing. It’s an archetypal condition. The point has never been to become perfect, or perfectly healed, or completely whole. The point has always been to become holy. That is to say, complete with our vulnerabilities and our wounds, because the wound becomes a womb from which we are intended to be reborn again and again. And that’s why the old saying was, the afflicted are holy.”

– Michael Meade

Choosing Peace 🙏💯

Dating when she’s finally happy alone is a different game. Because now she’s not dating out of loneliness. She’s not dating because she’s bored or broken or trying to fill a void. She’s dating from a place of peace, of snacks, silence, and sweatpants and she’s questioning everything. Like, why would I trade this cozy little bubble of emotional stability for a man who makes me anxious, confused, or constantly second-guess myself? You think I’m gonna give up eating ice cream straight from the tub in a hoodie that smells like heaven, to babysit someone’s grown-up ego? Please. When a woman is happy alone, she’s no longer impressed by bare minimum energy. She’s not excited by good morning texts that lead nowhere. She’s not clapping for “I was just busy” excuses or breadcrumb attention. She’s calm. She’s healed. She’s protective of her space. And if the vibe feels like emotional turbulence wrapped in fake deep conversations and inconsistent affection – she’s out. Immediately. No dramatic exit. No three-hour argument. No begging him to try harder. Just a quiet “no thanks,” followed by Netflix, her favorite blanket, and absolutely zero anxiety. Because peace is expensive.
And she paid full price for it with tears, with lessons, with long nights of healing, and boundaries that were built like brick walls. She’s not giving that up just because someone has a nice smile and a playlist. She needs consistency, not chemistry. Effort, not empty promises. A man, not another project. So if dating feels like a job interview, a group project, or a therapy session she didn’t ask to lead, it’s a no. Because when a woman has learned to love her own company, any man who enters her life had better feel like a bonus, not a burden. She’s not lonely, she’s selective. She’s not bitter, she’s aware. And the moment you make her feel alone might be better than being with you, she’ll choose her peace. Every. Single. Time. So if you want her, come correct or don’t come at all. Because she’s already got snacks, silence, and sweatpants. And honestly, that’s a tough act to follow.