Tag: Mom

Son stands up for his wife after Mom’s advice

It’s a life passage to do as he did , but I have not yet known the man who did so in partnership ..

“A few weeks ago I was chatting with my mother over the phone when she said, ‘Doesn’t it bother you that Mel won’t keep a cleaner house?’ It was a Saturday. I was working on the dishes. I honestly didn’t know what to say. My mother didn’t say it in an antagonist way or anything. It was more out of curiosity.

She’d obviously noticed that our home wasn’t all that tidy. Not that it was only Mel’s job to clean it. I see our marriage as a partnership, so cleaning is as much my responsibility as it is hers. I will admit, though, there is often kid clutter, dishes in the sink, and half finished art projects on the counters. I will also admit, it isn’t as clean as my mother’s home, but that doesn’t bother me. In fact, I don’t really think about that at all.

I didn’t really know how to respond to my mother, so I floundered. I never really know what to say in moments like this. But thinking back, I believe my mother’s perception of our house really reflects the era she grew up in.

She’s part of the baby boom generation. I didn’t know my father all that well, but I do remember him giving me this advice about picking a wife: ‘Stop by her house unexpected. See how it looks in there. You can tell a lot about a woman by how she keeps her house.’ I think my mother’s concern over a clean house has a lot to do with her trying to meet the expectations of her youth.

But the thing is, unlike my father I didn’t really think about a clean house when I married my wife. I thought about how I liked what she had to say. I thought about how she made me feel. I thought about how she smiled a lot. I liked that. I thought about how she was sweet and thoughtful, and how she seemed like the kind of mother I’d want for my children.

After a few moments of struggling to find the right words, I finally said, ‘I didn’t get into this marriage for a clean house. I got into it because she seemed like someone I could spend my life with.’

Silence.

I put some dishes in the washer. Eventually mom said. ‘Well… that probably is more important than a clean house.’

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘I think so too.’ ”

😘❤️💯

Mom aided by baby’s cells

When pregnant, the cells of the baby migrate into the mothers bloodstream and then circle back into the baby, it’s called “fetal-maternal microchimerism”.⁠

For 41 weeks, the cells circulate and merge backwards and forwards, and after the baby is born, many of these cells stay in the mother’s body, leaving a permanent imprint in the mothers tissues, bones, brain, and skin, and often stay there for decades. Every single child a mother has afterwards will leave a similar imprint on her body, too.

Even if a pregnancy doesn’t go to full term or if you have an abortion, these cells still migrate into your bloodstream.

Research has shown that if a mother’s heart is injured, fetal cells will rush to the site of the injury and change into different types of cells that specialize in mending the heart.

The baby helps repair the mother, while the mother builds the baby.

How cool is that?

This is often why certain illnesses vanish while pregnant.

It’s incredible how mothers bodies protect the baby at all costs, and the baby protects & rebuilds the mother back – so that the baby can develop safely and survive.

Think about crazy cravings for a moment. What was the mother deficient in that the baby made them crave?

Studies have also shown cells from a fetus in a mothers brain 18 years after she gave birth. How amazing is that?”

If you’re a mom you know how you can intuitively feel your child even when they are not there….Well, now there is scientific proof that moms carry them for years and years even after they have given birth to them.

Mother Hunger

“Mother Hunger” by Kelly McDaniel is a powerful book that explores the concept of mother hunger and its impact on individuals’ lives. The book delves into the psychological and emotional effects of unmet maternal needs, offering insights and guidance for healing and growth.

Here are some key lessons from the book

1. The Significance of Mothering: “Mother Hunger” underscores the importance of the mother-child relationship in shaping a person’s emotional and psychological well-being. McDaniel emphasizes how the absence of nurturing, attuned maternal care can lead to profound emotional wounds that persist into adulthood.

2. Understanding Attachment: The book delves into attachment theory and how early experiences with caregivers, particularly mothers, influence an individual’s attachment style and interpersonal relationships throughout life. Recognizing one’s attachment style can provide insight into patterns of behavior and help facilitate healing and growth.

3. Healing from Childhood Wounds: McDaniel offers insights and strategies for healing the wounds caused by unmet maternal needs. This may involve acknowledging and grieving the absence of nurturing care, developing self-compassion, and seeking out supportive relationships and therapeutic interventions.

4. Breaking Generational Patterns: “Mother Hunger” highlights the intergenerational transmission of maternal deprivation and the importance of breaking free from unhealthy family dynamics. By addressing unresolved maternal needs, individuals can prevent the perpetuation of harmful patterns in their own relationships and families.

5. Self-Compassion and Self-Care: Learning to practice self-compassion and prioritize self-care is crucial for individuals who have experienced maternal deprivation. By nurturing oneself and attending to one’s own needs, individuals can begin to fill the void left by unmet maternal needs and cultivate a sense of inner security and well-being.

6. Finding Alternative Sources of Nurturance: While the ideal mother-child bond may be lacking for some individuals, “Mother Hunger” encourages readers to seek out alternative sources of nurturance and support. This may include forming close relationships with friends, mentors, or therapeutic allies who can provide the empathy and validation needed for healing.

7. The Power of Awareness and Reflection: Increasing awareness of one’s experiences and feelings surrounding maternal deprivation is an essential step in the healing process. Through reflection and introspection, individuals can gain insight into how their early experiences continue to shape their lives and relationships, empowering them to make conscious choices for healing and growth.

8. Creating a New Narrative: Ultimately, “Mother Hunger” invites readers to reframe their understanding of themselves and their experiences. By recognizing the impact of maternal deprivation while also acknowledging their own resilience and capacity for growth, individuals can begin to create a new narrative that honors their journey toward healing and wholeness.

“Mother Hunger” offers valuable insights and guidance for individuals who have experienced the effects of unmet maternal needs. By understanding the impact of mother hunger and taking proactive steps towards healing and growth, individuals can find greater fulfillment, self-compassion, and healthier relationships in their lives.

Book: https://amzn.to/3TxH10J

You can get the audiobook for FREE by using the same link above when you register on the Audible platform.