Tag: consciousness

Charlie McCready – Turn the Page /Parental Alienation

The heartbreaking and frustrating thing for alienated parents is that we can’t force our children to see things from our point of view or, at the very least, to see things in a more balanced way. We crave justice, and it is hard to resist trying to tell them right from wrong, to tell them our truth, to teach them that this (parental alienation) isn’t the way a loving parent behaves, that we love them, we want them in our lives, we’re not who they’ve been led to believe we are, and that we grieve for the lost time, and lost love. Unfortunately, if we put this to them too soon, too much, and they’re not ready to hear it (they may never be completely), we risk pushing them away. They don’t (want to) see their alienation or that they’ve been in any way complicit. They were acting in the only way they knew how to survive the nightmare situation their alienating parent put them in. They’ve listened to mistruths and fictions about us. It is a test of patience and love, waiting for them to wake up from this nightmare and see the light. So, we have to learn to accept where we are. It’s not what we envisaged. It’s painful. We must adapt our parenting (or inability to parent given the circumstances) to an abnormal situation. Learning to let go of grief and anger is essential because otherwise, we stay stuck, and when we’ve not let go of that (through acceptance) it’s not going to encourage the child to be with us. Whenever and however you can, let your child feel safe, loved and supported. Let them feel heard (and wait for the time to be right for you to be heard). It’s extremely challenging to see the way they behave, reject and criticise and where they’ve become grandiose, parentified, and weaponised. Some even become abusive, and this can lead them to feel immense remorse and guilt and shame as and when they learn the truth. They can feel totally duped and betrayed when they find out. All I can suggest is to live your life, best you can today. Whenever you have the opportunity, show up in peace, with love and kindness, looks forwards, be positive. Leave the past in the past, and focus on the love and good in your life, and the present chapter you are living.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#alienatedchild

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#grief

#divorce

#custody

#childcustody

#familycourt

Masculine – Freedom & the Feminine

The masculine has three choices when it comes to freedom and the feminine…

The masculine in all of us seeks freedom.

The freedom to be the master of one’s own destiny.

The freedom to explore power and love on his own terms.

But there is no guarantee that the masculine will ever actually experience freedom.

Because he must grapple with the feminine

And that adds a whole layer of complexity.

Can you imagine a world with no women?

What do you imagine men would be doing?

Yet we do not live in such a world

We never will.

And so inherent to men and the masculine

Is a desire to meet the feminine

To experience intimacy with woman.

For most men, this is a perennial desire

And struggle.

He wants freedom

And he wants her.

How to resolve the two?

There are only really three options…

1. Freedom FROM the feminine

This is the realm of the f*&k boi, the man going his own way, and the tyrant.

“Woman cannot control me!” is his slogan.

He refuses to allow the impulse to merge with the feminine have any say in the matter, and so he keeps her at bay.

For the f*&k boi and player, oh he will explore intimacy… the most superficial kind… but the moment she gets close enough to have any influence over his internal world, his freedom… he is gone.

Onto the next one in an endless parade of novelty seeking.

The man going his own way simply gives up, and off into the wilderness of freedom he goes… no need for her, I’ll be fine. A dog, beans out of a tin and a caravan (or perhaps something nicer too).

And the tyrant… well he may be in a relationship, yet his intense need to be uncontrolled makes him controlling. Think of Scarface, the Wolf of Wall Street, Casino… he gets the girl, but she never ever ever gets him, not really and he will fight her until the abusive end to ensure it stays that way.

To be free from the feminine is to give up any real chance of experiencing intimacy with her.

—

2. Abdicating freedom TO the feminine

Sadly many men will simply roll over and hand the keys to their wild masculine essence to her.

“You are the boss” he will simper, as he spends the next years trying, and failing, to make her happy.

Even more sad is how many women will coerce a man into this scenario believing it will provide her the safety and security she is craving, as the forces the submission of his power that she is also craving.

Women will utterly break men this way.

And weak men will allow themselves to be broken.

This is the saddest choice of all… and the only outcome is a gnawing core of bitterness.

Nothing worthwhile can grow from this scenario.

Let us grieve for how many relationships in the world are, right now, festering in this pit of patheticness.

—

3. Freedom WITH the feminine

The last choice left to a man is to reconcile his desire for intimacy with her, with his own wild inner freedom.

This is a man who recognises that true freedom comes from within.

The feminine can never take it from him, and so he never has to fight her for it.

Freedom is not the ability to do whatever, whenever he wants… that is the freedom of a teenager exploring his first taste of independence… rather it is an internal experience that he uses to shine, to unleash his power in the most benevolent of ways.

This is a man who is the master of his own domain, the keeper of his kingdom.

And like any good King, he has a Queen next to him.

He is not beholden to her, he co-creates with her.

Reciprocal complementary polarity.

His unique gifts meets hers and together they create more than they could ever possibly do alone.

Freedom is not some set of circumstances that needs to be rigidly controlled to be felt… it is a place within.

Freedom is his

It always was

And it always will be

Nothing can ever take it away.

When a man embodies this… he soars.

And he is finally capable of the true depths of intimacy that are possible with a worthy mate.

✍️ Damien Bohler