Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Mother who lives like ‘1950s housewife’ believes her role is to look after the kids : Secret Life Of Mom

I too had a Mom who worked, 11 to 7 and I made it clear that I wanted to stay in home and raise what became 3 sons.

He had a Mom that had a career in the family business , type A achiever , doing all… I wasn’t geared that way , and the lack of response in raising our sons was acute .

I still feel women whose Mothering instincts are to be in home with children , perhaps until they are in school.

Like France , I’d like for American Moms to be supported by our government.. food, and much more … children deserve a Mom who has support from her partner from inception on..

Our sons had a skewed perspective from Dad , that he was the all knowing, all powerful as they were taught by him that money and his family were the power , and I was of little importance , just taking his money and not doing my job .

I was drained by his energy , his distorted character and his inability to change , to grow, to see what was needed without being told .

I was drugged into submission when out youngest was 6 .

A judge had ruled children did not need their Mom after age 6…

The control and keeping his social appearance, meant he had to demonize me , he had to win.

And then there was the therapist who stated in our 1st meeting . ” you are not a Mother anymore, fund something else to do “. Unfortunately, i was in a deep state of trauma , this

” professional ” ignored . He went on to hold a state head of psychological health !

Sadly there a lot of men who are in positions of power that do not accept the needs of a child and their Mom .

He totally missed the malignant , high conflict , intimate partner violence .

Nothing is more violent than targeting a Mom, and ignoring her adverse reactions to toxic RX , false diagnosis.

Very unfortunate that he took no interest in our children’s mental , physical , or emotional health , only winning , from his targeted wife.

Daily stories that make you smile, think, laugh, and cry a little.
— Read on secretlifeofmom.com/mother-lives-like-1950s-housewife/

Common lies of a narcissist

There were other women, there was the trauma bond and confidant relationship with his Mom. He preferred women friends . Communicate was scant from him, it became futile to speak of putting in more effort of being romantic .

And yes projected blame , from his friends and family that I was not worthy .. and crazy and at fault .

Not interested , detached from reality , no one could please him .. he never put in the effort to move forward, to grow..

I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know, but I know he expected to be treated like a king and he did not do well as a head of house and I was a handy scapegoat .

Glad that’s long over.. I allow his delusions and illusions.

youtube.com/watch

Beautiful, Charlie Mc Cready

I noticed the distancing – preempting what I later became ‘parental alienation’ – happen sometime before my children left. When it was particularly unpleasant and upsetting in those weeks and months before they moved to the other side of the world, I tried to remind myself that this was how they were bracing themselves to cope with such a monumentally life-changing, scary/exciting/brave/unknown decision. I didn’t always deal with it well, either. I’d been through parental alienation before, as a step-parent in 2001, but this took me to another level of grief long before the alienation kicked in. ⁠
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It was 2009, and in the time before they left, Eminem’s’ Beautiful’ was played a lot in my children’s bedrooms. It’s a song that expresses a struggle with depression, self-doubt and a yearning for understanding, acceptance, and a desire for a better life. After they’d gone and I heard the song, I grieved. I convinced myself that the lyrics were a child’s hope for a bridge between worlds, and that mine could come back anytime. The time with their other parent became permanent, and then I was cut off, no longer necessary, and even deemed unsafe. It’s the 180 turnaround from good parent with happy, healthy children to monster that’s nonsensical and horrifying. ⁠

But they don’t lose us – we’re still here. ⁠
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The song ‘Beautiful’, to me, is about alienation. It’s about longing for connection after being rejected, building ourselves up no matter how many times we’re set back or fall. We and our children are disconnected by enforcement and manipulation. We cope with it the best we can. The ‘distancing’ or ‘emotional cutoff’ is also known as disassociation. This is something in our children that the alienating parent can exacerbate, too.⁠
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There are times we have to let things run their course. We need the time and space to figure things out, and so do they. We’re still here. Mine did figure things out, reach out, and they came back. It is my heartfelt wish that yours do, too. ⁠

Beautiful by Eminem

https://youtu.be/lgT1AidzRWM?si=G3qG6JMzlBspAnBG

charliemccready