I’ve done something important over the past couple of weeks. I’ve opened two very important lines of argument… in fact, the most important lines of argument.
This is a trauma pathology.
The purpose is to abuse and traumatize you.
They told you, “This is not about you, it’s about the child.”
They lied to you. They lied to you so they could abuse and traumatize you. I’m so sorry they did that to you. They never should have done that to you.
You did nothing wrong. It was not your fault, bad people did bad things to you. You did nothing wrong. You are a good person, and a good parent.
I’m going to be telling them, “You’re abusing these parents with a sadness so deep, and for so long, that it is traumatic. You are creating traumatic levels of grief in these parents. Stop it now.”
And they will tell me, “It’s not about the parent, it’s about the child.”
“You’re a liar,” I’ll say. I’ll tell them that – and I promise I’ll use that word, “You’re a liar,” I’ll say, “You’re just saying that so you can continue your cruel and emotionally violent abuse of these parents? Stop it. Stop it now,” I’ll say.
I don’t think they’ll like when I call them “a liar.” Things might get a little… intense… at that point. I don’t care. They need to stop abusing you, and they need to return your children to you right away.
I don’t want any of you to follow me on that argument line… about your abuse. That’s an argument that someone has to make on your behalf. I’ll do that. I’m a clinical psychologist… I can handle their nonsense.
I’m going to appeal to empathy, human compassion, morality, and normal human decency.
We should not take anyone’s children away from them… ever. That’s a very cruel thing to do. Very cruel. Almost the most cruel thing I can imagine, to take someone’s children away.
They’re going to tell me that you’re a “bad person” who “deserves to suffer.” That’s not true. That’s the lie. I’m going to expose their lies… and that’s the biggest lie of all, that “It’s not about you, it’s about the child.”
That’s one of the lines of argument that becomes available when we open the trauma line – the fourth line. They are traumatizing you. Traumatic grief. That is the whole point of the entire “child custody” charade… to abuse you… you make you suffer.
This isn’t about child custody. It isn’t even about the child. It’s about you. It’s all about you. It is about abusing you, it’s about making you suffer.
I’m going to tell them that. I’m going to tell them that very sternly, and I’m going to deal with their lies. I’m going to make them stop abusing you.
So that’s one line I just opened. Don’t follow me on that one, let me do the talking, you stay focused on the task at hand, getting your kids back. Dorcy is going to anchor that.
I’m going to have some… different discussions… with my professional colleagues – about right and wrong. About morality and abuse. About empathy.
The other thing that happened, is that the trauma line of argument is the main line for this pathology. It’s a trauma pathology. The other three, attachment, personality disorder, and family systems… they’re the “more”… they’re not the “core.” Trauma is the core.
Trauma is the strongest line. I’m like that sword fighter who’s been beating the adversary with his left hand… but I’m not left handed… With trauma, I just switched to my right hand.
There are four domains of knowledge needed to properly assess, diagnose, and treat your families; attachment, personality disorder, family systems therapy… and complex trauma.
And trauma is the most powerful one of all. Up til now… I’ve been playing… well, not exactly playing… but I’ve been doing this with one very important… one key and central… hand tied behind my back.
Not anymore. Were opening the fourth line now. Trauma.
AB-PA isn’t a “new theory.” It’s trauma-informed practice.
Surprise pathogen. I’ll bet you didn’t know that did you, stupid pathogen? That AB-PA represents trauma-informed assessment… and trauma informed diagnosis… and trauma-informed treatment… you didn’t know that, did you pathogen?
I know. Because you’re a trauma pathogen… and you can’t see yourself… that’s the Escher paradox I’ve constructed for you – Diagnostic Indicator 3. What happens when we ask a trauma pathogen to identify itself?… Diagnostic Indicator 3: the trauma symptom – the core.
Dorcy’s work too, that represents trauma-informed practice as well. In fact, it’s some of the best trauma-recovery work I’ve ever seen. She’s not using psychology-based knowledge, but it’s solid professional trauma work, and an impressive accomplishment.
I told Dorcy she could refer to the Custody Resolution Method as a trauma-informed analysis of the family data, and that she could refer to Higher Purpose Parenting as trauma-informed parenting skills training. I told her she could start using those terms for her programs based on my authority – I am authorizing her to use those terms for her work.
I also told Dorcy that she could begin referring to the High Road workshop as a trauma-informed intervention workshop for the recovery of children’s authenticity and healthy attachment bonding to parents. I am authorizing her to use that term, trauma-informed, for the High Road workshop.
Trauma is my field. Attachment too, and family systems therapy… and others… but trauma… that’s my expertise. Dorcy’s work is some of the most sophisticated trauma recovery work I’ve seen. It is most definitely trauma-informed practice.
So I told Dorcy she could start using those terms for her work, based on my authority in trauma.
You can too, when you ask for an assessment of your family… you can ask for a “trauma-informed” assessment – that would be an assessment for the three Diagnostic Indicators of AB-PA.
AB-PA represents trauma-informed assessment, diagnosis, and treatment, of pathology. So if you say “trauma-informed” assessment… that’s AB-PA… trauma-informed practice.
Your allies in psychology… they were not giving you very much good stuff to fight with.
The Gardnerians and forensic psychology were giving you the weakest possible thing-something to fight with, that’s not even a recognized pathology in mental health… “parental alienation.”
They did that to abuse you. To make it as hard as possible for you to fight for your kids. You don’t need to prove “parental alienation” in court. Who told you that you had to do that?… that’s a lie.
You just need to get a proper DSM-5 diagnosis. When you get a trauma-informed diagnosis for your family, the DSM-5 diagnosis is V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse. Confirmed.
This is not about child custody… this is about child protection.
They were hiding that from you. They’re not diagnosing your children, are they?… and when you ask them to diagnose your child and family, what do they tell you? – “I don’t diagnose”… they’ll tell you – “I don’t like to pathologize people,” they’ll tell you
…because they’re abusing you.
Don’t you feel abused and traumatized? That’s because you are. It’s called “traumatic grief.” It is a grief and pain so deep, for so long, that it is traumatic. You know, that feeling you have… that. Traumatic grief.
They shouldn’t be doing that to you… no way. The worst thing, is that they tell you they’re not abusing you and traumatizing you. They have no empathy.
That’s the most disturbing symptom in all of this. It was the first symptom I recognized in the first two minutes of my very first session with one of your kids, and it is the core thematic issue running throughout the pathology… the absence of empathy.
Did you know abuse is caused by the absence of empathy, and that the absence of empathy is abuse.
The absence of empathy is never-ever a symptom we want to see. It’s associated with the capacity for human cruelty.
Major Winters. That’s what can happen… without empathy.
That’s what happens when we shut down our compassion, when we turn off our empathy, when we make other people “suffer” because they “deserve” to suffer, because they are “bad.”
Like what we’re doing to you. How you are being made to “suffer” because you “deserve” to suffer because you are “bad.” Like that. The absence of empathy leads to unimaginable cruelty.
It’s not true that you’re a “bad person,” is it? You’re just ordinary people, shopkeepers, musicians, you’re not criminals… just ordinary people. You know that.
But they don’t listen, do they. They say you’re “bad” and that you “deserve” to suffer – and then they take your children away from you so you’ll suffer.
That’s a bad thing they’re doing… making you suffer like that – a pain so deep, a grief so large and for so long… that it’s traumatic. They shouldn’t do that to you.
That’s the trauma dream that has captured them…their trauma dream. They are not living in reality anymore… you’re not a bad parent… they’re a bad person who is abusing you… you’re not an “abusive” parent… it’s them… they’re the people being abusive – of you – their victim… who they blame for your own victimization by them.
When you tell them of your suffering, they tell you they’re not being abusive in taking your children away… because you “deserve” it… because you’re a “bad person.”
It’s called projection. It’s very common for people who are trapped in the trauma dream… the trauma can’t see itself… so it projects itself into the world… it sees itself… in you.
It’s not your shame, it’s their’s, you’re not being abusive, it’s them. You see that. I do too. Because we’re not in the trauma dream of abuse and victimization… but they are.
They are bad people doing very cruel things to you… and justifying it… because they think you “deserve to suffer”… because you are a “bad person.”
So I’ve just opened the fourth line – trauma – the most important one of all.
They are abusing and traumatizing you. That must stop.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857