Tag: relationships

Abandoned Parents

Just finished reading this book.

She delves into the chemical reactions in our bodies/brains to the trauma of estrangement . No wonder this is a particularly difficult time of year. I know this estrangement has forever changed me. This book nails our feelings and reactions to our children’s behavior. We are certainly thank God not alone in this battle for resilience. In many ways it has made me a stronger person..but that was up to me not my child. To be so invisible is brutal to say the least.

Alienating Parents & the Damage Done

Parental alienation occurs when one parent, typically after separation or divorce, actively and deliberately attempts to distance the child from the other parent. It’s not uncommon for an alienating parent to have shown far less interest in the child’s life before separation, only to suddenly become intensely involved once the other parent is no longer in the picture. It can be even more so when they remarry.

The alienating parent may use manipulative tactics to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent. This can involve making negative comments about the other parent, falsely accusing them of wrongdoing, or deliberately preventing the child from spending time with the other parent. The goal is often to erase the other parent’s influence from the child’s life, creating a sense of loyalty and dependence solely on the alienating parent. This behaviour is widely considered harmful to the child’s well-being, as it can lead to emotional distress, confusion, and strained relationships with both parents.

The alienated parent might wonder how alienating behaviours impact the relationship between the alienating parent and the alienated child (a convoluted sentence, but I want to be clear). Some (though not nearly enough yet) may view alienating behaviours as a form of psychological child abuse, especially given there are allegations without proof that the child is better off without one of their parents in their life. It may lead to legal consequences such as changes in custody arrangements or supervised visitation for the alienating parent. We do hear of these stories (again, they are few and far between) as the courts tend to take the lead from the ‘voice of the (indoctrinated/alienated) child’. But, also, and more generally, the alienating parent is not easy to live with. They are highly manipulative, and the child may come to realise this. Their love is conditional. After-all, this is a parent who requires the child to cut the other loved/loving parent out of their life. This is NOT loving behaviour. Deep down, the child knows even if they make excuses and align with this parent.

NB: A father can be a biological parent. A biological parent is someone who is genetically related to a child and participated in the child’s conception. Both the mother and father of a child are considered biological parents.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparenting

#coercivecontrol

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#parentalalienation

Narcissist: No resolution 😜

A narcissist isn’t interested in owning up to their actions—they’re focused on provoking your reactions. Why? Because your reactions become the perfect distraction from their behavior.

Let that sink in for a moment. 🤯 All this time, while you thought you were working toward a resolution, defending yourself against their accusations, or explaining your side, you were being set up. It was never about resolving anything—it was about control.

Wow.

#WordsOfSteele #ShatteredSilence #RadiantResilience #BoldAndUnbreakable #WinningInTheEnd #BeYourBestYou #StayStrong

Authentic Closeness vs Co- Dependence

The difference between CO-DEPENDENCE and AUTHENTIC CLOSENESS

❤️❤️❤️

Codependency: I need you to feel good, otherwise I don’t feel good.

Authentic closeness: I allow you to experience what you experience without feeling the need to change or fix it. You are your own master.

Codependency: I need you to support me, and if you don’t, I will make you feel guilty in a more overt or more subtle way.

Authentic closeness: When I need support, I ask others for it, not just my partner, and I don’t get angry if they can’t give it to me the way I need it.

Codependency: If you don’t do what I want, I will make you feel guilty and ashamed.

Authentic Intimacy: I accept you as you are, while having clear standards about how a person can treat and talk to me.

Codependency: You have to know what I need. It’s not the same at all, if I have to explain it to you.

Authentic Intimacy: I communicate openly and will never blame you for my own lack of courage to tell you what I want and need.

Codependency: True love means being faithful no matter what.

Authentic Intimacy: I have my own personal boundaries and standards for how a person can treat and talk to me, and I will clearly share them with you with love.

Codependency: You have a lot of problems and I will help you overcome them. Only in this way can I feel that I am valuable, worthwhile and needed.

Authentic closeness: I am already valuable and valuable. I’m not here to be my partner’s therapist, help him get better, or be his nanny.

Codependency: I need you and you need me.

Authentic closeness: I choose to be with you every day and you choose to be with me.

Codependency: I can’t do without you.

Authentic intimacy: I like spending time alone.

And I love being with you. ❤️

Never trust the words of a Narcissist

Never trust the words of a narcissist.

They’ll present themselves as people of high morals—righteous, honorable, even godly. But in reality, whatever they claim to be is simply what they expect from you.

They don’t apply the same standards to themselves.

The double standard is very real.

And here’s the truth:

Nothing is more frightening than realizing the man you’re with is not the man you started out with.

The mask slips. Their words stop aligning with their actions. And suddenly, you’re left staring at someone you don’t even recognize.

This is why you can’t trust what they say.

Watch their actions. 👀

Words are cheap to a narcissist. Their actions? That’s where the truth is hiding.

If you’re seeing this pattern, hear me now:

You are not crazy. You are not alone. And there is life beyond the chaos.

#WordsOfSteele #TruthPrevails #ShatteredSilence #BoldAndUnbreakable #WinningInTheEnd #StayStrong #PureHeartPower #RadiantResilience #ResilientHeart

Strive for the real thing ❤️

When engaging in love, commit to it fully. Express your emotions openly to that person. Maintain eye contact and demonstrate passion through fearless kisses. Refrain from worrying about the present or the future growth of your relationship. Embrace life’s imperfections and fragility. Simply love. When engaging in love, do so with the mindset that tomorrow may never come. Cherish every moment as if it’s your last. View the person in front of you as the most extraordinary individual you’ve ever encountered. When engaging in love, do so as if no one else exists. Be insatiable in your desire for their touch, smile, and laughter. Love as if you’ve never considered a life without them. When engaging in love, do so with the innocence of never having experienced heartbreak or deception. Love without fear of pain or vulnerability. When engaging in love, do so with unbridled passion. Love with the conviction that it’s your sole purpose in life. Offer your whole heart to the person you care for. Be vulnerable, and don’t be afraid to get messy. When engaging in love, do so with intention and purpose. Love with every fiber of your being, and persevere through life’s challenges. Choose to love through your actions, words, and decisions. Commit to loving your person unconditionally. When engaging in love, do so with deliberate intention. Refrain from half-loving or making partial commitments. Don’t waste time giving only fragments of yourself, and instead, strive for the real thing.

#resa

Wish list for wives

1. If you want your wife to make love to you often, then take care of her heart. You cannot mistreat her and hurt her, then expect intimacy and passion. Love grows where tenderness is sown.

2. If you want your wife to respect you, then you must do admirable things. You cannot dishonor her or cause her shame and expect her to offer respect in return. Respect is earned through integrity, not demanded through pain.

3. If you want your wife to feel safe with you and open up, then you must stop any form of emotional or physical abuse. You cannot instill fear in her and wonder why she guards herself against you. Trust comes from protection, not intimidation.

4. If you want your wife to enjoy intimacy with you, then you must maintain oral and body hygiene. You cannot expect her to delight in your touch or passion if you neglect your cleanliness, carry the scent of sweat, or reek of smoke and alcohol.

5. If you want your wife to stop complaining, then stop repeating the same mistakes. She complains not to hurt you, but because she believes in your potential to change and be better.

6. If you want your wife to be financially transparent and stop making decisions without you, then you need to start showing financial responsibility. If you’re reckless, she will feel the need to secure her future and the children’s on her own.

7. If you want your wife to proudly speak about you to others, then give her reasons to be proud. She cannot celebrate you if you fail to be a man of character and substance.

8. If you want your wife to stop nagging or being moody, then make time for her and make her feel special. A woman nags when she feels ignored or unappreciated. A loved wife glows with joy.

9. If you want your wife to stop fighting with your friends, then stop surrounding yourself with people who pull you away from your family. She protects your relationship because she sees their negative influence.

10. If you want your wife to feel proud of being your wife, you must do things that make her feel cherished every day. Don’t expect her to feel content just because she wears your ring or has your children—she needs to feel valued.

11. If you want your wife to support you, then have a vision and share it with her. A woman can only fully help a man who has direction and invites her to build with him.

12. If you want a deeper connection with your wife, be the man who honors his promises, who loves, respects, and cherishes her. The tenderness you once showed is still what she craves.