After you die

AFTER YOU DIE

Just so you know

after you die

I will not wonder

why you didn’t do

your dishes or

how long it’s been

since you

cleaned your

oven or microwave or

mopped your floors

or why there were

dust bunnies under

the bed and

behind the door

After you’re gone

I will not wonder

how you could

have allowed the

piles of old mail to

accumulate or

why you saved so

many bits and pieces

of this and that or

why you weren’t

more goal-oriented and

well-organized or

why your refrigerator

contained so many

expired condiments

When you are

absent from all your

familiar places

I vow to avoid wondering

why you didn’t

eat less and

exercise more or

why you waited so

long to stop smoking

or drinking or

whatever else was

simultaneously

soothing and

deadly or

why you took

whatever risk may

seem to have hastened

your exit or why

you left so much unsaid

unfinished or

unresolved

I will only wonder

if you knew how much

you mattered to me

just as you are

as you were when we

met in our temporary

human disguises and

laughed in the

dressing room of the

world at how funkily

our skin suits fit

at times

I will wonder and

hope you knew

you were beloved

I will wonder when

we last hugged

and whether you

felt how our

heartbeats

converged

and our bellies

bumped like boats

and then we

both sighed

Marva Lee Weigelt

#afteryoudie

_______________________

Image: The Hug | Salvatore Spucches

Loosing Someone

You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once….

You lose them over and over,

sometimes many times a day.

When the loss, momentarily forgotten,

creeps up,

and attacks you from behind.

Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,

they are gone.

Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,

and as you awaken,

so does your memory,

so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,

they are gone.

Again.

Losing someone is a journey,

not a one-off.

There is no end to the loss,

there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,

when it washes over.

Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,

they have a journey ahead of them,

and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,

they are gone,

Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every day,

for a lifetime.~

~Donna Ashworth