Green Flags

Green flags often go unnoticed in today’s world. They say healthy relationships are dull, but picture this: someone who makes you feel comfortable and secure, remembers the little details about you, including your favorites, and offers reassurance without prompting. Someone with whom you can be vulnerable, authentic, and genuine, without fear of disrespect.

Imagine being with someone who has clear and vivid plans for your relationship, respects your time and boundaries, and understands that you have other important people in your life. Someone who prioritizes you, cares for you, and sees your flaws as opportunities for growth. Someone who never lets you go to bed with a heavy heart and never takes advantage of your kindness.

Now, envision having someone who communicates openly because they value your relationship, recognizing that disagreements are natural but striving for a healthy resolution.

Imagine being with someone who is not just good for your heart but great for your overall well-being.

So take my advice and cherish those green flags when you see them. They may seem small, but they are the building blocks of a truly fulfilling and lasting relationship.

~Tanvir

Mothers

“There are so many kinds of mother. The mothers you cherish and celebrate. The mothers who were never really there. The mothers who broke you. Who built you. The mothers who cheered you on. Who chipped away at you until you were dust. The mothers who reveled in your astonishing intelligence and grace and power. Who saw only their own light. The mothers who died painfully young. The mothers who lived so long you felt yourself disintegrating with them. Petal by wilted petal. The mothers who shined. Who dimmed. Who did their best. Who disappointed. Who redeemed themselves. Who accepted your redemption. Who zigged and zagged. The mothers who were a beacon. The mothers you never knew. The mothers who sewed themselves into the quilt you became. The mothers who couldn’t bear to tell the truth. The mothers who were brave. The mothers who didn’t know who they were without you. Who never saw you no matter how wildly you waved. The mothers who grieved you. Who believed in you. The mothers you call. The mothers you no longer speak to. The mothers you take for granted. Or treasure. The dead mothers. The mothers you have to search for and carry. The mothers you find in people who are not your mother. The mothers like a limb. The mothers like a mirror. The mothers like a flame. The mothers you wish. The mothers you love. The mothers you ache. The mothers you echo. The mothers you wanted to be. The mothers you became. I am thinking of you. I am holding you all.” -Cheryl Strayed

Art by Jessica Fry

Mothers

Maybe your mother was the perfect mother.

Maybe she carried you

bled for you

sang to you

smiled at you

nurtured you and marveled in you.

Maybe she understood your essence

and was patient and let you unfold

in your own time and in your own way

honoring the heart of you all the while.

Maybe your mother cared for you;

Maybe she was there for you

long past childhood days.

Maybe your mother worked for you

cooked for you

sewed for you.

Maybe your mother listened to you

held space for you

Maybe your mother laughed with you

played with you

stayed with you through all your years.

Maybe your mother protected you,

But

Maybe she neglected you

rejected you.

Maybe she abandoned you

hard-handed you

betrayed you

flayed you.

Maybe your mother couldn’t mother.

Maybe your mother forgot you

lost interest

grew cold.

Maybe she never really loved you.

Maybe you were just her duty

for a little while.

Maybe your mother did the best she could

with what she had.

Maybe she was sick or sad.

Maybe her mother was bitter or bad

and hurt her in her deepest parts.

Now

Maybe you are a mother.

Maybe you are a perfect mother.

Maybe you pour abundant love into

your daughters, your sons.

Maybe you delight in them.

Maybe you struggle

Maybe you feel exhausted

resentful

lost and unseen.

Maybe you feel nothing.

Maybe you are just surviving.

Maybe you are not a mother

but long to be a mother

Maybe you mother others.

Maybe you don’t want to be a mother;

will never be a mother

Yet

We all need a mother

Yes, we do

And maybe there is a perfect mother

just for you.

She is the mother of your mother

and your mother’s mother

and back as far as the eye can see

or mind can know

or soul can feel

to the first mother.

Lie on the grass and feel Her heart.

You were formed of Her earth.

You come from Her waters.

Her winds kiss your cheek eternally.

Her rains cry with you when you cry

and wash your wounds.

She will heal you

nourish you

wait for you.

She will give you beauty

give you joy

give you new life

again and again.

She will always be there

to enfold you in Her embrace

when at last you return —

Maybe you have the perfect mother . . .

~ Rebekah Myers, A Perfect Mother

copyright © 5/9/2021 by Rebekah Myers

Sacred Sisters Full Moon Circle

Art: Jana Brike

Jana Brike

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