Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Alienator Abuser : Iā€™m the only parent you need- Charlie McCready

It’s hard for us to get inside the mind of a parent who is willing to hurt their children by denying them a relationship with their other loving and loved parent. They actively undermine the other parent in the child’s eyes, they tell lies, and they obstruct and damage the relationship as much as they can. If there is an event or date in the diary with the ‘target’ parent, the alienating parent will most likely try to sabotage it or make it difficult. The child learns to work around placating and pleasing the alienating parent. Why? Because the alienating parent is jealous of your relationship with the child and because they want to punish you for triggering in them negative feelings about themselves – any insecurities, fears, and childhood traumas. Or if not negative feelings, it could be an ego wound stemming from narcissistic traits triggered upon separation/divorce and causing angry, arrogant, vengeful behaviours and pathogenic parenting. This is no excuse for their behaviour by some of the reasons they do what they do, which is not in the child’s best interests, only theirs. This is also why it is very difficult/impossible to co-parent with them, even though family courts and counsellors think this is possible and like to advocate for this. Alienating parents have no desire to co-parent, only to erase the other parent from their child’s life until the child believes they act autonomously when they take on the thoughts, beliefs and behaviours of the alienating parent (shared persecutory delusions). This is coercive control, which is abuse. Getting inside the head of the alienator is helpful because it helps us think the unthinkable – that these people will hurt their children to hurt us. And they do it under the guise of love and protection. These behaviours are abusive. It is child psychological abuse and spousal psychological abuse. It is a mental health crisis.

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Delusions – Craig Childress PsyD

To diagnose a delusion… you MUST identify what actual reality is.

A delusion is a fixed and – false – belief. To diagnose a delusional disorder REQUIRES establishing that one reality is true, and one reality is false.

When two realities are too discrepant, both realities cannot be true. One reality is true. One reality is false.

Trump vs Cohen. One of them is telling the truth, and the other one is lying. There is no middle ground of some sort of “misperception” – nope – one is telling the truth and one is lying.

You’re job as the diagnostician of delusional disorders is to identify actual reality from the lies. Can you do it with Trump and Cohen? Which one do you think it telling the truth and which one do you think is lying?

It’s one way or the other, there is no grey in the middle. One reality is true. One reality is a lie.

In the family courts – one reality is correct – the other reality is a lie. Either the child is being authentically abused by the targeted parent, or the child is being psychologically abused by the allied parent.

There is no grey “misperception” – one reality is true – one reality is a lie told to deceive.

If you are going to be a court-involved clinical psychologist, it is your obligation to make the diagnosis of truth and lie – of reality and delusion. That’s your job.

Because that’s required to make a diagnosis of a potential delusional thought disorder, and the pathology of concern is a potential delusional thought disorder.

So should one person decide what’s truth and what’s a lie?

Get a second opinion. Get a third opinion. Get all your second-opinions right at the start – put your combined heads together and decide – which is the truth and which is the lie.

We can make an accurate diagnosis when there’s the motivation to make an accurate diagnosis. They’re not motivated to make an accurate diagnosis.

I wonder why that is?

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857