Narcissist Addiction/Consumption

Narcissists are addicts.

But not always in the way you expect.

The one I was with?

He wasn’t just addicted to alcohol or nicotine.

He was addicted to everything.

Exercise.

Control.

Chaos.

Me.

Our dogs.

Porn.

Sex.

He claimed he was addicted to sex since he was six years old.

Said it like a confession—

But it was really a manipulation.

A setup.

A built-in excuse to blur every boundary and justify every urge.

There was no healing.

Just grooming.

And when he couldn’t be around the “bad” addictions?

He didn’t get better—

He just shifted them.

If he couldn’t drink,

He’d do hours of cardio.

If he couldn’t smoke,

He’d obsessively weightlift.

If I didn’t worship him,

He’d spiral.

If I didn’t perform emotionally or physically,

He’d withhold, punish, or chase the next hit—

From validation,

From attention,

From porn.

His whole life was a transfer of addiction.

But that wasn’t recovery.

It was compulsion.

It was emotional possession.

And it consumed everything in its path.

Let’s be clear—

Narcissists aren’t just addicted to substances.

They’re addicted to attention.

To ego strokes.

To sex.

To domination.

To whatever gives them control over others.

And if you’re close to them?

You become the addiction.

You become the fix.

The dopamine hit.

The object.

Until there’s nothing left of you but a worn-out supply.

This isn’t love.

It’s obsession.

It’s a black hole that devours your joy, your voice, your soul.

And no matter how much you give,

It will never be enough.

Because narcissists don’t want connection—

They want consumption.

If this feels familiar, you are not alone.

You weren’t crazy.

You were targeted by someone who never wanted to love you.

They wanted to own you.

#WordsOfSteele #BoldAndUnbreakable #ConsumedByControl #AddictionAndAbuse

Old Structures Releasing

There is so much purging going on—

at levels hard for the mind to grasp,

at levels that are vaster than the individual

but also expressed through

the human , the individual form. And that needs to be Ok. We need to allow it.

Every choice you’ve made,

you’ve claimed as an opportunity to learn more about yourself through —

the people , the circumstances,

the relationships , the goals, etc..

But what many of us understand intellectually but do not truly grasp through our entire Being is that many of the choices made are not made consciously — they are made from past thoughts , old patterns , habits , and ideas of the collective of what should be.

You bathed in ‘what should be’ daily

as you grew up and continue to do so. These constructs do not dismantle easily. So , if your life feels like it’s been dismantled or is being dismantled down to the ground and even deeper,

know you have not failed , not destroyed anything. You’ve Allowed yourself finally to see the constructs that have been in place, the false foundations of safety, belonging, success, love.

Be compassionate and proud of yourself for allowing this.

All these constructs are being exposed

as the false constructs they’ve been.

And remember, they are not ‘bad’ —

they served their purpose for thousands of years until humanity was ready to reclaim itself through itself.

June and July tore through our lives internally, disrupting the status quo,

what looked safe , practical and more , when in actuality it was draining you and had/has been draining you for years.

If you are feeling like you are sitting or swimming in a field with fragments of your life or debris floating around you in space , know you are exactly where you are suppose to be.

There may be deep grief, uncertainty but when you soften and deepen your breath into your Being , there comes a clarity that is refreshing and filled with unspeakable possibility. A cleanness and readiness to create the new. This deeper level of purging is occurring way below, beneath, or deeper within than the mere physical.

It is preparing you , us , for greater change in the world around us.

But because you’ve experienced this internally in the energetic dimensions and/or externally in your life , You will be the Light , the steadiness as more deconstructs and rapidly changes outwardly. Your presence , your vibration will be the anchor — for many.

Many will not be able to meet you here —because of fear , too tight a grasp on what has been and the old ideas of what should be because the acceleration is so great now. Don’t judge, let them Be,

they’ll arrive in their own time. And remember, even the new cannot be prescribed with ‘shoulds’ — for any should is based in prior experience, ideas.

Give yourself time to grieve, to integrate these new energies that come with this greater release, purging, and clarity.

They come with frequency codes that are operating so deeply within us.

Let your body adjust to the feeling of uncertainty, the unknown for it has spent thousands of years seeking survival, safety in control, defense. These are deep structural releases in the body and energetic bodies that are releasing what feel like objects flying around us like debris in a storm.

Rest, be still , turn to nature and

our animal friends — they are expert at regulating the body and releasing what can be experienced as the traumatic energies of sudden change, for change is upon us this fast. Our animal friends are expert teachers right now.

For several days , I’ve been being shown debris flying so deeply in us and in space. August Will indeed bring greater release for some, for many, but it will also bring fresh air, the wide Clarity of possibility.

Let it arrive , Be , for possibility of the new will meet you with grace: it seeks you as much as you seek it. Let the debris settle on its own.

Let Joy , Light , guide you. It doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges,

but your relationship to them,

your perception of them will be an experience of creative Source instead of battle. They will show you the depths of your strength, power, love without judgment of others, without going into blame or fault finding in those around you These are merely defense mechanism still binding you to the old.

Allow yourself the freedom, the liberation, from the past. Don’t expect answers all at once, for You are the answer and your body and mind and Soul are slowly aligning to express this.

They need time for coherence , unity, creation. And remember , you chose to be here for this Transformation.

You already decided you could do it ,

Wanted to do it.

You Are that creative , that powerful,

That filled with love.

~ Allannah Capwell ❤️

Weary

Any women today didn’t choose to become “masculine” they adapted to survive. They never wanted to shoulder every burden alone or suppress their gentleness. But when leadership was absent, they stepped up. When protection was lacking, they guarded themselves. Faced with emotionally distant, inconsistent, or unreliable men, they had no choice but to find their own strength.

Her assertiveness grew from being overlooked. Her independence, from repeated letdowns. Her guarded heart, from betrayal. Yet beneath it all, she doesn’t crave constant strength she longs for rest, love, safety, and the freedom to soften. True femininity flourishes with protection and trust.

So no, she isn’t hardened just weary. Not bossy just scarred. Not difficult just healing. And the right man, He won’t fear her strength. He’ll honor the battles that shaped it and give her the peace to be gentle again.

Gentle Men

A man’s gentleness toward you is one of the most powerful displays of his masculinity. True strength lies in a man who recognises his power but opts for tenderness, who doesn’t rely on control, pride, or anger to prove himself, but instead reveals his strength through patience, care, and composure. He doesn’t mistake your softness for weakness; he treasures it as something sacred. He chooses to listen rather than yell, to lift you rather than tear you down, and to bring peace instead of chaos.
Gentleness is quiet strength the kind that holds your hand when life feels overwhelming, remains steady when emotions run high, and stands firm without cruelty. A gentle man cherishes your heart, safeguards your trust, and fills your spirit with warmth. It takes a secure, emotionally mature man to love like this not with dominance, but with unwavering presence. Because real masculinity is found in kindness, not intimidation. And there’s nothing more extraordinary than a man who chooses to love with gentleness.💯❤️