Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

Pathogenic Parent

You may have read previous posts I’ve written about virtue signalling, which is a symptom of a culture that prioritises appearances over substance, often at the expense of real accountability. In the same way, family courts often strive to maintain an image of fairness and impartiality, but this frequently leads to both parents being treated as equally culpable in high-conflict cases. Tragically, this can result in the targeted parent—the one alienated from their child—being unjustly placed in the same “naughty” camp as the alienating parent. Or worse, they don’t see through the charade and manipulations of the true persecutor.

What’s commonly known as ‘parental alienation’ is a psychologically abusive attachment disorder caused by one pathogenic parent who manipulates and weaponises the child against the other parent. Despite this being well-documented in psychiatry, psychology, and social sciences, family courts rarely recognise or act decisively on this knowledge.

Extensive research demonstrates that children fare better with the involvement of two loving, available parents and the wider family on both sides. The American Psychological Association (APA) highlights the significant mental health benefits for children who maintain strong relationships with both parents, even after separation or divorce. A meta-analysis by Bauserman (2002) found that children in shared parenting arrangements experience better emotional, behavioural, and academic outcomes compared to those in sole custody arrangements. Research from Canada’s McGill University reveals that children benefit emotionally, socially, and cognitively when supported by a loving, extended family network.

Furthermore, there is evidence to show that even children who suffer abuse can remain bonded to their abusive parent. This trauma bonding often stems from identification with the aggressor, a psychological survival mechanism in abusive relationships. It is tragic but revealing—children are hardwired to seek love and approval from their caregivers, even in the most harmful circumstances. In cases of parental alienation, this same dynamic is exploited, intensifying the child’s attachment to the alienating parent.

If this is the case, why are the courts not taking decisive action when one parent is clearly sabotaging contact and communication with the other parent?

The courts often listen to the ‘voice of the child,’ influenced by organisations like CAFCASS in the UK or Guardian ad Litem (GAL) representatives in the US, without fully appreciating that this is a child who has been emotionally abused and indoctrinated. Alienating parents engage in coercive control, spreading lies, false narratives, and projections, and using techniques such as triangulation and interference with contact.

These behaviours fall under the umbrella of coercive control. In the UK, coercive control is recognised as a form of domestic abuse under the Serious Crime Act 2015. However, this is not consistently the case in other countries, including the US, where recognition of coercive control varies by state and is not uniformly codified in federal law. In any case, the courts rarely recognise this when it is directed at children, even though it meets the criteria for emotional abuse (at least, under UK safeguarding standards). This failure to understand the dynamics of alienation leaves targeted parents—mothers and fathers alike—with devastating outcomes.

I’m not a fan of the nanny state or ‘big government’, I believe that specialist and experts in the field should have government listen to them, rather than the other way around. Things need to change:

Education and training for family court professionals is critical. Judges, solicitors, CAFCASS/GAL officers, and social workers must understand the tactics of coercive control, false narratives, and manipulation to make decisions that prioritise the child’s best interests. Independent psychological assessments must accompany the “voice of the child” to identify coercive control and emotional abuse. Clear consequences are also needed for parents who violate parenting plans or engage in alienating behaviours, such as therapy mandates or changes in custody arrangements.

Independent Psychological Assessments: The child’s voice should not be considered in isolation but evaluated alongside independent psychological assessments to determine the influence of coercive control and emotional abuse.

Enforcement of Parenting Plans: Clear, enforceable consequences must be in place for parents who violate court-ordered parenting plans or demonstrate alienating behaviours, including mandatory therapy for the alienating parent and the child and fines or changes to custody arrangements when alienation persists.

Mental Health Support for Children: Alienated children need therapeutic support to address the psychological harm caused by indoctrination. This should include trauma-informed therapy aimed at deprogramming the false beliefs instilled by the alienating parent.

Accountability for False Allegations: Alienators who fabricate allegations to restrict the other parent’s access should face legal consequences. False claims of abuse not only harm the targeted parent but also undermine the integrity of genuine abuse cases.

Parental alienation is not simply a family dispute—it is psychological abuse. It leaves lasting scars on the mental health of children and targeted parents. As the courts continue to demonstrate their inability to address this issue effectively, systemic change is urgently needed to protect children from coercive control and to preserve the attachment bond between children and the alienated parent.

The focus must be about identifying and addressing abuse. Parental alienation is an insidious form of psychological harm by one parent (and enablers) against the other parent – which harms the children, too.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#CoerciveControl

Difficult Past – Charlie McCready

Self-worth and self-love are integral to our happiness. If we don’t get a sense of our own value when we’re children, during school years, or with our spouse/partners, we can potentially open ourselves up to experiences in our lives that reflect our low self-esteem/lack of self-love back at us, reinforcing the proverbial vicious cycle.

“You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” Wayne Dyer

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds” Bob Marley

I speak from experience. I have been through many dark nights of the soul over the years. Many. And always, it comes back to the need for more self-love and worth. It starts with that.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but we must love ourselves first and be our own best friends. We must love and care for ourselves as we love and care for others. Those people and experiences we’ve attracted into our lives, like those parental alienators, take advantage of kindness, generosity, love, and compassion. Healthy relationships come from mental and emotional maturity and balance. Boundaries. Self-respect. Love is not conditional – attachment, promises, control, manipulation. We don’t need validation from others. We are enough We can let go of fear, anger, and grief … I know it’s hard, but it can be done with time, kindness, and some conscious effort, of course. We can start afresh every day—a clean slate. We are not victims. We can transform pain into power. The past is over. Our memories can’t hold us back forever.

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung

Nobody else has the permission to tell us we are less, not good enough, unlovable … that stems from their own issues and fears. We should know better if only our minds would just give us a break and be our friends, not our prison guards. Today offers the gift of the present. We can be the saviour, the hero and the creator of our lives.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#selfworthmatters

#healing

#selfcare

#selflovejourney

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#FamilyCourt

#custody